bruce
bruce
Comments
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Last night I dreamt I was lead into a public toilet by an insatiable woman, whose face I could not see as she proceeded to fondle my genitals. Then she looked up. It was Judi Dench. Fucking hell.
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Pork is the meat of kings, it's made from swine and swine sure is fine.
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I pray for a day when I don't have to use this...
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Goddamnit, I keep forgetting to love you guys up while drunk! To be fair, I was at a bar serving £1 shots of tequila, so, yeah, I was a bit busy...
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I leave for a few weeks and this happens? Goddamn.
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An ethos counts for nothing if you don't stick to it. Like my father, a racist neo-Nazi (forgive the tautology) who has interracial porn on his computer and trawls dating sites for ethnic women. So he's scum, but hypocritical scum.
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Actually a neo-nazi. With a swastika tattoo and a tear drop tattoo under his eye, an indication that he went to prison for murder which he plead guilty to.
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I've been drunk many times this week alone, but have been too busy puking, avoiding murderous neo-nazis or eating cheap pizzas to post on here :(
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iMac: And I polished my shoes. Shiny.
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Once I was in a lesson and we were told we had to sing a song for a Christmas play. Suddenly nazi ninjas broke through the windows and threatened to kill us all if we didn't explain how to work out the circumference of a circle and conjugate Latin vowels. I, however, reasoned with them, using words, not violence. They were…
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It's okay tanya, I forgot my musical programs :(
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Axe is called Lynx in the UK. Therefore you shall call it Lynx. And while Africa is the best Lynx, Old Spice is the best deodorant ever. Trufax.
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That string of heartbroken women would say otherwise, Lauren. Oh, and: Homosexuality is awesome :)
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Is this to be a common theme?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USZ7-Hcnuko
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2.78 a day. Well shit. Also, Lauren could play a convincing Jesus if she has a fake beard on :)
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I played piano properly for the first time in about two years today. I discovered that despite playing bass regularly, my fingers have become atrophied at the ivories, and now they hurt, but I still remember my repertoire!
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'Nuff said, really.
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:\ No, that's okay...
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Thanks for the offer Tak, but nowt can be done now. As for a knife, no, but he was well built and I'm no fighter, so I didn't want to risk getting my head kicked in.
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Last night, I was at a bus stop at 1am waiting for a night bus back to the train station. After waiting about an hour, some little scrote comes up to me asking for money. I tell him I have none aside from my bus fare. He then asks for my phone, and I likewise tell him I have no phone on me. He keeps pressing the matter,…
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I feel I must apologise profusely for being even remotely like this character when I was younger. We Cool, John *fist-bump*
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Someone stole my iPhone yesterday, cheeky little joker that he is. Cunt.
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I think I love your husband :)
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He left the ring. In certain contact sports to allow any party of your body to leave the ring is immediate loss, hence why they usually stick so close to the centre of it to avoid that. :tmyk:
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So you have a wank while reading and a book and eating a good meal in the presence of friends? While, I don't know, massaging your wife's feet?
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Knowing that if I offed myself my friends would dig their way down into hell and kick the shit out of me.
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Socialismo o Muerte!