3 Word Story
ok guys, I've got the first chapter put together. ((Good way to spend a sick day, huh? lol))
CHAPTER ONE
Early one morning the universe exploded and killed me. While I hacked ever so 1337LY the pentagon computers, I found that a duck was running the country. I then realized "Ducks Can't vote!" Then, ducks voted and chaos ensued. Fire swallowed Alabama, which didn't exst because of fire. But I digress. "Those damn ducks! They stole my twelve inch long, somewhat phallic looking, rabid, human eating, cuddly bunny rabbit!" Who killed a penultimate roman soldier with a titanium banana. 'mmm, bananas.' They fit snugly into behemoth's tight undershirt, made from itchy camel hair, which was carefully plucked from a small killer bunny in my pants. The bunny then did a little job hunting while looking at 4-chan and...exploding... Maybe it wouldn't have if pyromania stopped. But that simply would mean that fire would not scare martians away. They scare easily. Yes they do. Anyway, the martians suddenly combust causing multiple puncture wounds and mass pain to the lower right toe nail, causing much confusion among the martians because they thought of their sweeties who had huge peices of grey matter attached to my big, gigantic BBQ prime ribs. If those ribs ever thought about killing some hookers, they would be in another dimension watching reruns of Sliders and That 70's show with Bob Saget and Courtney Cox Arquette, doing some naughty, and possibly illegal rocking. Their band in called 'Fishmongering' "Heh, fishmongering..." Anyway, they would always live like they were currently being eaten, which wasn't exactly probable, but probability is overrated, and really annoying. But, you know...like grandpa says, "Never let large radioactive spiders be around you when you whore yourself out to chimpanzees!". I think grandpa was very drunk, or possibly stupid. Probably both. Explosions lit the night in northern Lithuania. As Henry pulled his arm out of it's socket, for back-scratching, and grabbo-arming, he suddenly realized lacked in bacon, lettuce, and tomato! This wouldn't stand! BLT's are necessary for arm re-attaching of his wife's arm. 'Nuff said. THE END Or...
CHAPTER TOO
Not, because the damn thing will keep on going no matter what. "My god", said Cthulhu as he flew into windows Vista, causing many squeals of exalt to escape the Lovecraft nerd populace as they camped near spawning areas annoying many people and generally pissing nobody important off.Well, except me. Now we must move beyond Cthulhu and onto SCIENCE! You see, SCIENCE! is powered by sexy particles called Higgs Boson particles which are often eaten as a tasty snack when dipped in milk...Semi-Skimmed Milk! Will cause failure of the quantam nacho cheese recipie for atomic nachos. After eating them you will explode with flavor, and rock out on top of a nuclear fission reactor playing Heart's 'Barracuda' on the hypertuba. And the therimin, as conducted by legendary pornography star Andrew Bonar Law. With his penis. Prime Ministerial Penis. All three penises, Prime Minesterial Penises, It was not sexy. At all. But it was. Or was it? Yes, it was. Unsexy, that is. I’m getting sidetracked…my point is if you want a quality automobile, dial this bananaphone. Have a chat! And make sure really make sure not to dial the scary wolf-man, because he will ask for money. He’ll want three-fitty. Wait, that’s the time I ate a big juicy, fully kosher ham! Well, I thought I loved big women, but I learned my lesson. Then everyone died in Bizarro World also known as The Orange Belt. (.com, not .org) Oh. Well, anyway….what was I smoking last night?! Oh right, paprika contained in Goulash. That was when my head broke and my brain decided to leave for San Jose! So I decided to follow it to San Jose!
CHAPTAH TREE (Thanks again to the generosity of QueenQuinlin!
)
When I reached a vast ocean of pure gold and fish of lemon meringue pie we ate them. And there was a giant taco named Clyde who ate Pac Man brand Vermont cheese with great gusto. Brand red wine and a side of hashed-oranges. Clyde wasn't a violent man, just a bit queer... like orangutans... or bloody Arse Bandits! Anyways, Clyde once killed a man just to watch because his horse said "Its cool man, I'm down wit' it, yo!” "Horse," Clyde replied, "You can't talk Yiddish. Oy Vey!" Then he did. So the Nazis drunk with rage, ate some hamburgers while Himmler did the running man treadmill music video, Noone suspected that it was best left to the experts. Unfortunately, this was Opposite Day so we died. Since we're experts we died well but it's okay. After all, we never liked him as much as I would have gotten very fat. So I grabbed five apple pies and then sang songs of Pennzoil while blowing up the Parliament Building of Scotland. Yay! For Scotland killed The Radio Star who I hate. I was about to build the Eiffel Tower from lint and atomic high fiving while singing sea shanties on the decks of pirate submarines. Gay Pirate Submarines. Submarines: quite phallic. “But what if we could?" said Geoff, brow furrowed. "Then we also would be able to get there by dirigible, if the Senate allowed your mom to run for office while balancing a terribly unbalanced budget." "Why, that’s preposterous" Said the oozing, said the goateed, oozing and goateed? Goateed, oozing puppy who greatly suffered at the hands of the diabolical dead deranged fish monster demon cat burglar of Wales. Who is also known to possess telepathic pantsing vision which he uses on pants (duh) of innocent children.
Thanks again, kiddo!
Early one morning
CHAPTER ONE
Early one morning the universe exploded and killed me. While I hacked ever so 1337LY the pentagon computers, I found that a duck was running the country. I then realized "Ducks Can't vote!" Then, ducks voted and chaos ensued. Fire swallowed Alabama, which didn't exst because of fire. But I digress. "Those damn ducks! They stole my twelve inch long, somewhat phallic looking, rabid, human eating, cuddly bunny rabbit!" Who killed a penultimate roman soldier with a titanium banana. 'mmm, bananas.' They fit snugly into behemoth's tight undershirt, made from itchy camel hair, which was carefully plucked from a small killer bunny in my pants. The bunny then did a little job hunting while looking at 4-chan and...exploding... Maybe it wouldn't have if pyromania stopped. But that simply would mean that fire would not scare martians away. They scare easily. Yes they do. Anyway, the martians suddenly combust causing multiple puncture wounds and mass pain to the lower right toe nail, causing much confusion among the martians because they thought of their sweeties who had huge peices of grey matter attached to my big, gigantic BBQ prime ribs. If those ribs ever thought about killing some hookers, they would be in another dimension watching reruns of Sliders and That 70's show with Bob Saget and Courtney Cox Arquette, doing some naughty, and possibly illegal rocking. Their band in called 'Fishmongering' "Heh, fishmongering..." Anyway, they would always live like they were currently being eaten, which wasn't exactly probable, but probability is overrated, and really annoying. But, you know...like grandpa says, "Never let large radioactive spiders be around you when you whore yourself out to chimpanzees!". I think grandpa was very drunk, or possibly stupid. Probably both. Explosions lit the night in northern Lithuania. As Henry pulled his arm out of it's socket, for back-scratching, and grabbo-arming, he suddenly realized lacked in bacon, lettuce, and tomato! This wouldn't stand! BLT's are necessary for arm re-attaching of his wife's arm. 'Nuff said. THE END Or...
CHAPTER TOO
Not, because the damn thing will keep on going no matter what. "My god", said Cthulhu as he flew into windows Vista, causing many squeals of exalt to escape the Lovecraft nerd populace as they camped near spawning areas annoying many people and generally pissing nobody important off.Well, except me. Now we must move beyond Cthulhu and onto SCIENCE! You see, SCIENCE! is powered by sexy particles called Higgs Boson particles which are often eaten as a tasty snack when dipped in milk...Semi-Skimmed Milk! Will cause failure of the quantam nacho cheese recipie for atomic nachos. After eating them you will explode with flavor, and rock out on top of a nuclear fission reactor playing Heart's 'Barracuda' on the hypertuba. And the therimin, as conducted by legendary pornography star Andrew Bonar Law. With his penis. Prime Ministerial Penis. All three penises, Prime Minesterial Penises, It was not sexy. At all. But it was. Or was it? Yes, it was. Unsexy, that is. I’m getting sidetracked…my point is if you want a quality automobile, dial this bananaphone. Have a chat! And make sure really make sure not to dial the scary wolf-man, because he will ask for money. He’ll want three-fitty. Wait, that’s the time I ate a big juicy, fully kosher ham! Well, I thought I loved big women, but I learned my lesson. Then everyone died in Bizarro World also known as The Orange Belt. (.com, not .org) Oh. Well, anyway….what was I smoking last night?! Oh right, paprika contained in Goulash. That was when my head broke and my brain decided to leave for San Jose! So I decided to follow it to San Jose!
CHAPTAH TREE (Thanks again to the generosity of QueenQuinlin!
)When I reached a vast ocean of pure gold and fish of lemon meringue pie we ate them. And there was a giant taco named Clyde who ate Pac Man brand Vermont cheese with great gusto. Brand red wine and a side of hashed-oranges. Clyde wasn't a violent man, just a bit queer... like orangutans... or bloody Arse Bandits! Anyways, Clyde once killed a man just to watch because his horse said "Its cool man, I'm down wit' it, yo!” "Horse," Clyde replied, "You can't talk Yiddish. Oy Vey!" Then he did. So the Nazis drunk with rage, ate some hamburgers while Himmler did the running man treadmill music video, Noone suspected that it was best left to the experts. Unfortunately, this was Opposite Day so we died. Since we're experts we died well but it's okay. After all, we never liked him as much as I would have gotten very fat. So I grabbed five apple pies and then sang songs of Pennzoil while blowing up the Parliament Building of Scotland. Yay! For Scotland killed The Radio Star who I hate. I was about to build the Eiffel Tower from lint and atomic high fiving while singing sea shanties on the decks of pirate submarines. Gay Pirate Submarines. Submarines: quite phallic. “But what if we could?" said Geoff, brow furrowed. "Then we also would be able to get there by dirigible, if the Senate allowed your mom to run for office while balancing a terribly unbalanced budget." "Why, that’s preposterous" Said the oozing, said the goateed, oozing and goateed? Goateed, oozing puppy who greatly suffered at the hands of the diabolical dead deranged fish monster demon cat burglar of Wales. Who is also known to possess telepathic pantsing vision which he uses on pants (duh) of innocent children.
Thanks again, kiddo!
Early one morning
Comments
(Bless the brave soul who follows up this one...)