wow - this is teh bwst spam ever.

geokogeoko
edited January 2013 in General
Okay, so recently I got two emails that I found so amazing that they had to be shared.

Got this in my work email today, and it's so full of amazing engrish I couldn't stop laughing. Spam has officially gotten bad enough to be funny.
Attention; Dear Praiseworthy contractor,

YOUR IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT.

We Apologies, for the delay of your payment and all the Inconveniences and
Inflict that we might have indulge you through. However, we were having some
minor problems with our payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held us
stranded and Indolent, not having the Aspiration to devote our 100% Assiduity in
accrediting foreign contract payments.

From the Records of outstanding contractors due for payment with the federal
government of Nigeria, your name and company was discovered as next on the list
of the outstanding contractors who have not yet received their payments.

I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in square whole and can be
voguish for that your payment is being processed and will be released to you as
soon as you respond to this letter. [It goes on to ask for a bunch of your personal information. boring.]

Man, I always over indulge on Inconveniences and Inflict.

I'll have to find the other one at home - it's pretty good too. something about if i call some phone number I can pay someone to call off an assassin that's been hired to kill me.

anybody else got some funny ones?

Comments

  • BevinDeezlBevinDeezl
    edited July 2008
    Password: There is still time to save my skin.:D
  • geokogeoko
    edited July 2008
    BevinDeezl wrote: »
    Password: There is still time to save my skin.:D

    that's the one. ^_^
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    Psh, I'll have you know I was contacted by a lawyer in Malaysia a few weeks ago, and I'm about to be a MILLIONAIRE bitches!
    Dear Ryan Jones,

    I am Benedict Vijiarajan, a legal practitioner with Vijiarajan & Associates in Malaysia with many years of practice.

    I was an attorney to a deceased client of mine who died in Kuala Lumpur , Malaysia of a heart related condition in 2004. My reason of sending you This email is to help secure the funds left behind by my client before it is Confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this fund valued at 6,646,743.00 as per the bank statement. Since you do have the same surname With my late client, I would want to present you as the legitimate beneficiary With all legal documents required to back the claim up.

    The holding bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the Account will be confiscated, and so far, all my efforts to get hold of someone Related to this man has proved abortive.

    This is my proposal; I am asking for your consent to present you to the bank as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my late client, since you have the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Then we can share the amount on a mutually agreed-upon percentage.I do have a good standing in Malaysia , it is my assurance that this transaction will be successful and that I will make sure that the transaction is done within the applicable laws to guarantee full legitimacy.

    All legal documents to back up your claim as my client's next-of-kin will be provided by me. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. However, if this business proposition offends your moral values, do accept my apology.

    Please contact me as soon as possible to indicate your interest. Do understand that this transaction do require utmost confidence and you should keep this mail toyourself not withstanding if you are rejecting the transaction or accepting it.However,if this business proposition offends your moral ethics,do accept my sincere apology.If on the contrary you wish to achieve this goal with me,kindly get back to me with your interest immediately for further details.

    Best regards,

    Respectfully,
    ben,Vijiarajan (ESQ)

    I give the guy credit, there are much fewer typos than normal. But, it's the same old story we've all heard a thousand times. I almost debated playing along with him, but it was sent to my work e mail, so I decided against it.
  • MrCheezeMrCheeze
    edited July 2008
    geoko wrote: »
    two

    Where is #2?
  • PandaPanda
    edited July 2008
    geoko wrote: »

    I'll have to find the other one at home     - it's pretty good too?

    at home, apparently
  • hlavcohlavco
    edited January 2013
    This Is To Inform You That , I US President Barracks Obama, have instructed the US Treasury Secretary, to release the sum of $6million to you. This is part of the stimulus we have packaged for you to grow the economy.It is what we call public to private initiative and this is all we need at this point of our economy.You shall recieve an ATMCARD with the sum of $6M on it as a Federal grant.Please get back to us for more details 202-456-1414
  • brucebruce
    edited January 2013
    All David Cameron offered me was £2,000,000. Damn Conservatives.

    Xr6XbNU.jpg
  • hlavcohlavco
    edited January 2013
    I love the last paragraph. Don't talk to any other branches of the government! It'll only slow things down!
  • SilverwardSilverward
    edited January 2013
    I also like how the Prime Minister somehow can't obtain a .gov email address.
  • hlavcohlavco
    edited January 2013
    Oh, Barracks Obama is on aol.com with a gibberish username.
  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited January 2013
    Subject line: Job Appilctaion Pennding

    Hello

    Thank you for sumbtiting your information for potntial employmet opprtunities.
    We look forwaard to revieewiinng your applicatin, but can not do so untiil you comlete our
    intrnal applicattion.

    Thee pay range for avialbale positions range ffrom $35.77 per hoour to $57.62 per hour.
    Prior to begin able to be considereed, you will first need you to formally apply.
    Plaese go here to begin the process:

    http://www.Tchimbembe.Luongo.rozannagus.com/

    Also, the folwloing perks are potnetailly avvaillable:

    - Paaid Time Off
    - Halth Benefitss Pacakge
    - Hihger than avearge ssalariees
    - Tuuition Reimbursement
    - Extensive 401(k)prgoram

    Pleae take the time to folow the directioonss and complte the enitre
    apiplcation prcoess.

    Best RRegarrds

    First spam to make it past the Gmail filter in over a year, and it's this kinda bs? I suspect Google let it through to give me a laugh.
  • X'o'LoreX'o'Lore
    edited January 2013
    That is so sad it's embarrassing. Quite fitting for this thread.
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited January 2013
    Dude you get halth benefits?! And a 401(k)prgoram? Forward that shit to me man.

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