Anti-Valentine's Day thread
Come together, patrons of the OB who are terribly alone this weekend! Instead of thinking about love and romance, let's discuss our failures with women (or men)! We can all band together and share in our loneliness.
I'll go first. I once dated a girl who was prone to fits of dangerous rage when she was upset. I was in the car with her once, and she got mad at me, so she decided to floor the gas pedal and speed through a crowded city street at night. I had never been so fucking scared in my life; I thought I was going to die.
Anyone else have stories to tell? I know some of you do.
I'll go first. I once dated a girl who was prone to fits of dangerous rage when she was upset. I was in the car with her once, and she got mad at me, so she decided to floor the gas pedal and speed through a crowded city street at night. I had never been so fucking scared in my life; I thought I was going to die.
Anyone else have stories to tell? I know some of you do.
Comments
...and I couldn't get it up! I drove her home in silence. We...didn't talk much after that. =[
That was her first experience with a guy, too. All her previous intimate encounters were with my friend's sister. Turns out she was only really going for me because the sister had spurned her for another, and I was her revenge. I don't think she's been with a man since.
Ha, oh man, that sucks. Usually, if you just go with it, usually you can get it up eventually, but man that really does suck.
I've had a few bad relationship experiences, but my latest breakup was actually pretty good. Her and I are still friends (with benefits) and it was very mutual, since we didn't want to be in a relationship without any more love.
That's horrible, man! Oh We feel your pain. That pain! We feel it! Yes, it's so familiar. We bemoan your loneliness. Don't worry, Prince. Keep occupied with making your life better by yourself, and love will find you.
Sending things to Earth... trees... elephants... hopes... dreams...
It's only sad if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself.
I've only ever had one girlfriend and we are still lovingly together. Can I still hang out here if I don't have any bad stories?
My last real relationship ended very poorly. I dated the daughter of a migrant family from one of China's poorest provinces. Traditional to the T, her family was not excited about the idea of her dating a whitey. She kept me a secret for a month, and then decided to let her mother in on the secret. She did not really approve, but she could tolerate it. She did outwardly tell me that she did not trust me at all though, and she would ask me lots of embarrassing questions in front of my girlfriend, like how many girls I've been with, etc.
They decided to keep me a secret from her father for much longer. However, a few weeks later he found out somehow. I saw her mother a few days later and she had giant bruises on her neck. Granted, she worked in a factory, so it could've been work related, but it looked like my mere presence was causing spousal abuse. The family hated me bcause I couldn't promise to stay in China for the rest of my life, so eventually she broke up with me because of parental pressure.
And that's not all. I've got plenty more good stories to tell, but I want to hear other stories too.
We go about 2 weeks before we hang out again, and I ask if she wants to do something on valentines day, she says that she's already made plans with her "friend", a guy. I somehow convince her to drop those plans, and we have what I can only assume was one of the worst nights of her life, we go to an Italian restaurant, and wait an hour to be seated, then we barely talk during dinner.
I get back to her place, and get wrangled into a conversation with her father about motorcycles, which I have no interest in. I'd also spent about $50 on flowers for her, not such a big loss, but I still feel like an idiot for getting them for her. Anyway, about a week after that, we go bowling with her "friend" and she's all over him all night, after that we don't talk very much. In fact, I got a call from the guy telling me to stay away from her, which I was more than happy to do. In short, I'm an idiot.
A girl making out with you doesn't necessarily imply that you're dating, but it usually means that she's interested. Like, she wants to get to know you more. Not that she's doing the same with one or more other guys at the same time and just waiting for the best deal to come around.
Although, you should have told him that you've been itchy lately and you're going to get tested, and that you recommend he does the same. Great way to spite people.
This American Life, strangely enough, was the thing that got me through it initially, almost exclusively. Thank you Ira Glass for showing me little slices of the lives of other people that have it much worse off than I do, except they get to be on a cool radio program so I'm still jealous.
I'll have you know that not every girl is just pampered on Valentine's Day without giving anything back, and that not every boy hates doing things for his lady. This Valentine's Day, both of us are going to have a gift ready, we're splitting the bill at a nice restaurant, and there will probably be enough happening afterwords so that my guy does not feel 'left out' by the end of it.
And besides, even if Valentine's Day WAS about the lady... isn't, like, every other day of the year Steak and Blowjob Day?
Lol, in al honesty, Eric's the one who enjoys making gifts and going all out to be cute, and I'm the one who sees it more like a painstaking chore to actually produce something nice enough to give away (but totaly worth it to see HIS face light up when he gets anything). I'm pretty critical of myself when it comes to making things, and I usually don't have that much money to spend, sooo... it's just a funny paragraph to read. Granted, we're not the most normal couple.
It's meant to be funny!