I tend to look down on people who are not awesome, so I maintain a rigorous lifestyle dedicated to being awesome.
We awesome people need to congregate with those of our own kind, so we can in turn breed awesome children. We wouldn't want to dilute our awesome genes with nonawesome genes.
If you're awesome, you can always tell when someone's just pretending to understand awesome. It's just one more way we can weed through those beneath us and mingle with only the truly awesome. It helps to maintain our purity of awesome.
Is it possible to cross the barrier between awesome and not awesome? I know I definitely wasn't awesome a few years ago, but now I'm unsure. Or is that in itself a sign that I am not?
I think what I'm really asking is: what are my chances of getting in on this awesome breeding colony?
Honestly, could you imagine a life where you weren't awesome? I can't.
Edit: Well, I suppose it's possible your awesomeness was just dormant in your earlier life. Most people discover their awesome at young ages but I suppose it's technically possible for it to mature later in life. But the key is, you always had it.
Unfortunately, god, it is possible to cross the barrier, but only one way. Awesome can never be gained later in life, you must be born with it. But you can squander and lose your awesome. If you were awesome, you'd realize this.
He's right. You can potentially squander your awesome through several means, like by becoming a vegetarian, listening to Soulja Boy, or by majoring in theatre in college. It's just like your virginity; once it's gone you don't get it back. Except that losing your virginity is awesome, and losing your awesome is not awesome.
Now those are just some extreme examples, of course. You can slowly wile away your awesome through more subtle means as well. That's why you must be ever vigilant and constantly reinforce your awesome like Ryan and I. Just to make sure I wasn't in danger of losing my awesome through vegetarianism, I ate 7 different types of meat within one hour this past Sunday.
Am I to interpret that as seven types with different parts of animals being considered different meats, such as pork, ham, etc., or the meat of seven different species of animal?
Well that's only natural. It takes an awful lot to maintain such a high level of awesome. You couldn't possibly expect to sustain it with just one or two.
Yes it is sad. I pity your contemptible state of non-awesomeness. Note how I don't mention whether or not I am awesome as to not hurt other peoples' feelings, it's a little thing called tact that you might want to learn
Comments
How do we keep it up after all these years?
We awesome people need to congregate with those of our own kind, so we can in turn breed awesome children. We wouldn't want to dilute our awesome genes with nonawesome genes.
I think what I'm really asking is: what are my chances of getting in on this awesome breeding colony?
Edit: Well, I suppose it's possible your awesomeness was just dormant in your earlier life. Most people discover their awesome at young ages but I suppose it's technically possible for it to mature later in life. But the key is, you always had it.