I'm back and I bring epic tales
So.... I'm back living with my parents which means I actually have internet access now, so expect me to be an actual part of the community again for the rest of the year at the very least.
And now to the how:
I was drunk and climbing a tree and, having completed this feat in record time and with near monkey-like skill, I screwed up the dismount. I broke the last branch I had to grab before shinning back down the trunk. I fell around 10-12 feet and landed on my back.
Because I am awesomely tough/mildly retarded I managed to get my breath back, declared myself ok, demanded cigarettes, more beer and a bag of frozen peas (the first two for consumption, the last for my back) and continued to party for another few hours.
When I woke up the next morning I figured that maybe this was a job for medical types when I was having difficulty moving well. So we wandered over to the hospital where they looked at me funny when I explained what happened, having walked to the desk.
What was "Well we'll put you into the trauma unit because of the height of your fall, but you seem ok" became pretty swiftly "What the hell is wrong with you? How were you walking on that?" Because I managed to not only fracture one of my vertebrae, but the shock of the landing travelled straight through me and cracked my sternum as well. Fear not though, I have avoided doing any damage to my spinal column.
Cut forward a couple of days, I now have a bunch of Meccano in my lower spine and a wicked new scar healing up my back. A few more days after that and I'm walking around ok, but if I drop anything on the floor that I can't pick up with my feet, I'm pretty much screwed.
Oh, and because my life is hilarious, this all happened 3 days after I'd gotten a job at the hospital as an orderly, although I hadn't actually started working yet.
So I'm pretty much going to be bumming around in Bridgetown until (if all goes according to plan) I go back to uni next year.
I'll post some pics in a few days. Although I won't be able to get my xrays until sometime next month, because I forgot to grab them when I was still at the hospital.
And now to the how:
I was drunk and climbing a tree and, having completed this feat in record time and with near monkey-like skill, I screwed up the dismount. I broke the last branch I had to grab before shinning back down the trunk. I fell around 10-12 feet and landed on my back.
Because I am awesomely tough/mildly retarded I managed to get my breath back, declared myself ok, demanded cigarettes, more beer and a bag of frozen peas (the first two for consumption, the last for my back) and continued to party for another few hours.
When I woke up the next morning I figured that maybe this was a job for medical types when I was having difficulty moving well. So we wandered over to the hospital where they looked at me funny when I explained what happened, having walked to the desk.
What was "Well we'll put you into the trauma unit because of the height of your fall, but you seem ok" became pretty swiftly "What the hell is wrong with you? How were you walking on that?" Because I managed to not only fracture one of my vertebrae, but the shock of the landing travelled straight through me and cracked my sternum as well. Fear not though, I have avoided doing any damage to my spinal column.
Cut forward a couple of days, I now have a bunch of Meccano in my lower spine and a wicked new scar healing up my back. A few more days after that and I'm walking around ok, but if I drop anything on the floor that I can't pick up with my feet, I'm pretty much screwed.
Oh, and because my life is hilarious, this all happened 3 days after I'd gotten a job at the hospital as an orderly, although I hadn't actually started working yet.
So I'm pretty much going to be bumming around in Bridgetown until (if all goes according to plan) I go back to uni next year.
I'll post some pics in a few days. Although I won't be able to get my xrays until sometime next month, because I forgot to grab them when I was still at the hospital.
Comments
Regardless I think it's safe to say that tree climbing remains an activity that best be done sober even if it sounds like good times at a party.
I was pretty disappointed that they wouldn't give me a new robotic spine that shoots lasers though.
Also: Sup, Jon. We haven't talked in a really long time!
Should end up as a pretty impressive scar. Especially considering that they'll have to cut me open again in 6 months to a year to take the Meccano back.
I'm pretty sure they're lying to me.
Laser shooting nipples are where it's at.
And, Tak, I deny that back lasers would be for defence. I would be using them to just leave a general trail of destruction in my wake.
Or a mechanical heart that shoot lasers. For SCIENCE!