Critique My Sprite Comic! Do it!
Well, I whipped together a little comic, and I want your guys-es critiquing.
Everything was done by me, including ripping the sprite.
So go ahead! Tear me to shreds with your words! Tell me what's wrong with it (besides the lack of a background, the lack of funniness, and the fact that my last name means "leftovers")! Do your worst!
It's bad, and I can tell! Tell me what I can do to improve it! Please!
Everything was done by me, including ripping the sprite.
So go ahead! Tear me to shreds with your words! Tell me what's wrong with it (besides the lack of a background, the lack of funniness, and the fact that my last name means "leftovers")! Do your worst!
It's bad, and I can tell! Tell me what I can do to improve it! Please!
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Comments
Thanks for the advice, I'll try that.
Thanks Mish! Do you see anything else that needs work?
Dude, that's improper grammar, you're supposed to capitalize the first letter in the first word in a sentence.
That punctuation is spot on though.
Shadows are something I've been seeing in a few sprite comics, it's not necessary, and I suppose it sort of defeats the purpose of having a sprite comic, but I like it.
The aura is derived from Tale of the Cave, I intend to use different colors as identifiers for who is talking, i.e. Luigi is green, Samus is orange, Kirby is pink, Link is dark green etc.
Thanks for the compliments! See anything wrong with it?
bitch why don't you say that to my face oh wait you can't because you're just some anon punk on the fucking internet fucking owned LMAO
Cool, I'm working on that whole background thing now.
Well, as far as story goes, yeah, you're right, but I'm more asking about the look of the comic.
You still didn't capitalize that first letter correctly.
EDIT: Edited the original post with an updated comic:
1. I added an aura to the speech stems leading to the words.
2. I originally wanted Mario to say something in the second panel but I couldn't think of anything good (or even half-decent) at the time of writing the comic, so I just left it blank, but two beats of awkward silence seemed like too much, so I forced myself to think of something to throw in there.
I like this kid.
What? WHAT WAS THAT? Sorry I must have misheard, I thought I heard a giant faggot mouthing off at me with something he sure as fuck could never back up, but it must have just been my imagination. Because after I imagined hearing that, I proceeded to imagine how good it would feel to break that persons fucking spinal cord over my knee. I imagined how my next step is usually to rip out one of the persons fucking ribs and jab it straight through their nose into their brain cavity. I imagined pulling that rib back out, and then brainfucking that dead faggot through the new massive hole in his face I created.
But I didn't really hear anything, right? no one would be fucking dumb enough to talk to me like that on here.
Congratulations ReallyCleanSocks! You did it! With the exception of the last sentence in this post, you used proper grammar and punctuation in every single sentence! See? Proper punctuation and grammar isn't that hard when you try!
I'm so proud of you. *sniffle*
I love you too, buddy.
Are we doing the May Flame War thing again? It's not May...
I must applaud RCS though, for such a fantastic comedic improv writing exercise.
Thanks for the compliments! Do you see anything wrong with it?
1. it's not funny
2. it's a sprite comic
3. it's a sprite comic
4. you're a fucking faggot
Heh, that's ironic.
BTW I added you to my buddy list.
Successful troll is successful.
Oh and speaking of your comic, I went to your website, and it's pretty nice. Well done man.