It's Happening - The Orange Belt Zombie Apocalypse Preparation Thread

Professor MacJakeProfessor MacJake
edited June 2012 in General
We all read the story about the face eating guy in Miami and had a good snicker or two about zombies. But, this wasn't the only bizarre story featuring violent outbursts from 'deranged' humans:

Hackensack Man Stabs Self, Throws Bits of Flesh: Police
The 43-year-old man barricaded himself, then stabbed himself when officers kicked in the door; he cut off pieces of his own skin and intestines and threw them at the officers


California MMA fighter faces trial in grim slaying
Authorities who went to a home near the mouth of the Klamath River found Powell dead on the couch with his chest cut open and his heart, tongue and the skin of his face removed, according to court records.

Wyatt — naked and covered in blood — acknowledged that he had killed Powell and cut out his heart and tongue, authorities said.

Maryland man accused of eating roommates brain, heart in 'zombie-like' attack ranted on Facebook
Authorities say Alex Kinyua, 21, admitted using a knife to kill and carve up Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, 37, before eating his heart and parts of his brain. The older man had been staying with the Kinyua family for about six weeks at their townhouse in the Baltimore suburb of Joppatowne.

Doubters may scoff, but make no mistake my friends: the Others are coming, and they're coming for you.

Since We of the Orange Belt are far smarter than anyone else on the planet, it falls to us to set up an international, internet command post wherein we can fight the zombie menace with all of our specialized abilities and "your mom" jokes.

This thread is a call to such an action.

First thing to do: read this survival guide.

How-to-Survive-a-Zombie-Apocalypse-V2_616.jpg



Godspeed, my brethren!

Comments

  • BehemothBehemoth
    edited June 2012
    Costco also has this. They're quite popular with Tea Partiers.
  • brucebruce
    edited June 2012
    Imagine if a zombie attacked you while you were having a dump. That'd suck.
  • mariomario
    edited June 2012
    I was going to re-extend my offer for a save haven from the Florida infections, but if the MMA fighter in Eureka got it, the disease has spread faster than I initially expected. We should really come up with a safe base of operations. I vote for our Canada forumites to take us in.
  • brucebruce
    edited June 2012
    Or, you know. Someone who lives on an island.

    Fish and chips with bitter all round!
  • X'o'LoreX'o'Lore
    edited June 2012
    There's 60 million people or so on that island. Is that really safe?
  • TheFlameOfHeartsTheFlameOfHearts
    edited June 2012
    Well we could try Greenland.
  • BehemothBehemoth
    edited June 2012
    I live on an island.
  • hlavcohlavco
    edited June 2012
    I feel like bacon would just attract the zombies.

    Along with everyone else.
  • brucebruce
    edited June 2012
    Behemoth wrote: »
    I live on an island.
    But can you go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over? How's that for a slice of fried gold?
  • TheFlameOfHeartsTheFlameOfHearts
    edited June 2012
    You can't eat gold.
  • ZlamzamboZlamzambo
    edited June 2012
    Well you could eat gold (and nearly anything else), such actions are just not recommended by 9 out of 10 dietitians.
  • BehemothBehemoth
    edited June 2012
    Night Lord wrote: »
    But can you go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over? How's that for a slice of fried gold?

    Yes.
  • TheFlameOfHeartsTheFlameOfHearts
    edited June 2012
    Zlamzambo wrote: »
    Well you could eat gold (and nearly anything else), such actions are just not recommended by 9 out of 10 dietitians.

    What's up with that last dietitian anyway? S/He's always such a oddball.

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