Zombies!

HamelinHamelin
edited July 18 in For SCIENCE
Malaria Zombies!
After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Comments

  • hlavcohlavco
    edited July 2006
    April 2005? Why am I only hearing about this now? Intriguing.
  • HamelinHamelin
    edited July 2006
    Ah! Because I've been duped, is why! Curses! Damnible Hooligans!
  • BehemothBehemoth
    edited July 2006
    Duped? How? It's fake?
    General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

    That sounds like all the makings of a new, super strain of the virus that makes real zombies.
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2006
    Only on fresh corpses, though. It's only a matter of time before it moves on to older bodies.
  • Amoeba BoyAmoeba Boy
    edited July 2006
    How did the people survive in the Resident Evil games again? It seems like we may soon be in dire need of this knowledge.
  • RyogaRyoga
    edited July 2006
    Resident Evil doesn't help at all. I suggest you pick up "The Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks, as some of you may know he is the guy who made Spaceballs and Robinhood Men in Tights. Anyways, I think you should prepare some food, map out an escape plan, and keep a blunt weapon that won't easily break for simple precautions.

    I myself already have 1 alluminum baseball bat by my bed, a backpack of non perishable foods in a cubby like thing in my wall, a map of tiverton in that foodpack, and an escape plan. were going to Cardinal Island, a small island in the middle of a large deep lake near where I live. easily accessible by boat and has some wildlife on it and some cool forts people made for paintball and such. My parents think i'm crazy that i'd go to such lengths...but i'm not crazy, they're just not prepared enough.
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2006
    I have that book, it's quite good.

    Resident Evil helps in that it teaches you that a close range shotgun blast to the face is effective against zombies.

    And, it teaches you that if you're being chased by zombies, you'll be safe if you go through a door, climb a ladder, or go up stairs. They'll stop following you. At least, until some of the later games.
  • Melted JhonnycakeMelted Jhonnycake
    edited July 2006
    Man, I've seen that page before, it is a very well done hoax, I must say. Notice if you go to the BBC homepage and search for it it won't come up, also notice the URL.
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2006
    It's still fun to pretend.
  • ApathyApathy
    edited July 2006
    One day, hopefully, we won't have to.

    AND THEN I WILL RULE THE WORLD!
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2006
    And then when Apathy rules the world, we can all be like "yeah, we knew him before he became big."

    Unless he smites us.
  • Melted JhonnycakeMelted Jhonnycake
    edited July 2006
    Which he will, FOR NO REASON!
  • Amoeba BoyAmoeba Boy
    edited July 2006
    Oh he'll have a reason, the best reason! He'll smite us...


    For SCIENCE!
  • Paper StreetPaper Street
    edited July 2006
    I belive the guys in Resident Evil survive by collecting crests and pushing crates. As for all the time after the main story of the game passes, I've always assumed our heros receved serious medical attention (more than herbs and spray) for their wounds, particuarlly the bites.
  • Doom ShroomDoom Shroom
    edited August 2006
    And with magical typewriters. Those too.
  • mjc0961mjc0961
    edited August 2006
    US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

    How dare you impede the progress of SCIENCE!
  • AgentcelAgentcel
    edited August 2006
    A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.
    What the hell? they need the UN to decide the safeness of biological research?! that's a load of bull.
  • deku12345deku12345
    edited August 2006
    Um, you do realize its a joke right? Just making sure.
  • AgentcelAgentcel
    edited August 2006
    Right. I knew that alll along. *looks around nervously* yes, I did...just had to say that.

© Vanilla Keystone Theme 2023