Let's play a game! I call it "How much will that new movie UltraViolet suck?"

2

Comments

  • edited March 2006
    Is that really any different than "The Chronicles of Riddick"


    "I'm a Furian... look at how furious I am!"
  • edited March 2006
    The Chronicles of Riddick had the worst ending ever. I remember thinking how they could have easily made it much better, but I cannot remember how. I figure that replacing it with a black screen probably would have worked though.
  • edited March 2006
    I think House of the Dead had a really bad ending too.
  • edited March 2006
    House of the Dead had a really bad begining, middle, and end. It was just a god awful peice of cinema in its entirety.
  • edited March 2006
    I did like how they inserted brief clips of the game when changing scenes though. I thought that was pretty clever.

    That was about all that was good about it though.
  • edited March 2006
    That wasn't clever. That was an assault on our brains.

    Still, that movie has one of the best sequences in cinema history: a zombie does a forward flip and throws his axe in the process. It looks like he's trying to do a 360 flip, but doesn't quite pull it off, so he jumps, and then he rotates forward slowly (this sequence is in slow motion, as I recall), and his axe moves away from his hand and does likewise. It's an utterly confounding shot that I can't get enough of. I think Geoff might have saved a clip of that shot, so hopefully he'll post it here at some point. At the very least, he's got the DVD.

    Oh yeah, and the zombie projectile-vomiting on the guy's face was also glorious.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    i would definately let a zombie eat my brains if it ment being able to do a flip while throwing an axe
  • edited March 2006
    I probably would too, if only because I was so stunned by how awesome it looked that I wouldn't try to get out of its way.
  • edited March 2006
    I don't remember that part. I may have been too busy apologizing to my date for bringing her to that terrible movie. I remember doing that a lot.
  • edited March 2006
    Oh my god, people... I just wasted an hour and a half of my life watching Queen of the Damned.

    Vampires will forever be brainless and pathetic to me, after this.
  • edited March 2006
    You should go and watch The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires.

    Sure, it's a stupid film but it has vampires and kung-fu.

    And Peter Cushing wearing a pith helmet.
  • edited March 2006
    There was some Chinese zombie movie I watched one time. The zombies air siphoned the blood out of you; they never actually touched you. Oh, and I think they may have been able to fly. Some four guys were trying to kill them with their kung fu. Can't remember the name of it, though.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    i never watched it, but my brother was telling me about this kung-fu movie called "monkey with 72 magic" and how it kicks ass despite the lack of undead beings.
  • edited March 2006
    Though I've also never seen it, my friend has watched an old japanese movie called Vs. featuring samurai and zombies that leap about 40 feet.
  • edited March 2006
    Oh man, can you imagine zombies with the speed of the newer Dawn of the Dead movie that could also leap 40 feet?

    That's it. Game over. Humans lose.
  • edited March 2006
    Well, just remember that they'll always be vulnerable to fire and cure magic.
  • edited March 2006
    But humans are still vulnerable to being arseholes and incompetent!

    Mix in the intelligence of the Land of the Dead (or was it City?) zombies and it's definitely humans for the lose.
  • edited March 2006
    I've never seen zombies to be much of a threat to mankind. Sure, they'd take a huge bite (sorry) out of the world population, but as soon as we bust out the tanks, there's nothing they can do.
  • edited March 2006
    What if you run out of gas?! You have to get out and refuel eventually!
  • edited March 2006
    and Night of the Living Dead proves that humans cannot refuel vehicles when zombies are about. Especially when said humans have love interests, and they always do.
  • edited March 2006
    Well that's when you go back to your huge barricaded compound, refuel, and the go out again and kill as much as you can. Nearly every zombie movie has a huge barricaded compound, the only thing that fucks it up is greedy people acting stupid.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    wll, eventually the zombies will learn how to manufacture dynamite, and then we're screwed.
  • edited March 2006
    If we can just learn to mass produce Phoenix Downs, we can win with few fatalities.
  • edited March 2006
    Well, apparently we've already figured out how to mass produce Cure potions. Phoenix Downs can't be too far behind.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    and we already have holy water. but elixers would definatly be good too.
  • edited March 2006
    You don't make Phoenix down, you pluck it from a phoenix. Plucking feathers makes birds anger. Have you ever been on a phoenix's bad side? You're better off with a chainsaw hand and a shotgun. That's how you take out an army of Dead.
  • edited March 2006
    Yeah, if you want to die. Chainsaws are too loud, heavy and fuel-dependant to be effective, and the shotgun suffers from many similar problems, it's too loud and too close-range.

    If you must go close-quarters, blades don't need reloading.
  • edited March 2006
    Phoenix downs have to be mass produced somehow! The combination of extreme rarity and the danger involved with plucking a phoenix's feathers would mean that their price would be astronomical. Plus, there would probably be a finite amount.

    Also, with regards to blades, while swords are quite fun, one must keep in mind that it is extremely difficult to lop a head off with a single swipe, as the spinal cord is quite thick. Cutting zombies anywhere else won't do anything.

    However, some well placed stabs with knives can do wonders.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    well, what you do is dump a crapload of bacon grease on the ground where they're going to walk, like over a 100 sq. foot area, and when they're about 5 feet away, light the grease on fire. preperations involve making a crapload of bacon.
  • edited March 2006
    Serephel wrote:
    There was some Chinese zombie movie I watched one time. The zombies air siphoned the blood out of you; they never actually touched you. Oh, and I think they may have been able to fly. Some four guys were trying to kill them with their kung fu. Can't remember the name of it, though.

    Was it this movie? I certainly hope there's only one Chinese undead hunter flick that involves vampire/zombies sucking your blood through the air; family members encased in wax; martial arts "masters" named Wind, Rain, Thunder, and Lightning; and what my friends and I call POGO ZOMBIES! For SCIENCE!

    Yeah, we got together and watched it on Bad Movie Night.