It's not a bad story, although it feels unfinished. Your plot twist is a bit sudden and harsh, which isn't always a good thing. However, if that's what you were going for you pulled it off well.
I don't mean to be too nitpicky, either, but the condition that you've described isn't so much a coping mechanism as it seems to be more a psychotic break from reality than anything else. It's also somewhat somewhat similar to severe depressives who regard themselves as satan or the devil, but you haven't really built that into your story.
I did like it for what it was, though. I'd also like to see more and find out what comes next, if anything.
For the first comment, I wanted the story to be left hanging, mainly because I might want to return to this someday and write a sequel or possibly a prequel.
In regards to the second, I'm not a psychologist, so don't expect my stories to be scientifically accurate.
As you can tell, the main story has not yet been uploaded, nor have any new short stories. The reason for both of these is explained below.
I was originally just going to write the story as a standard piece of writing, however, I felt that the medium just didn't work, so I decided to switch it over to the exciting world of Interactive Fiction. Serealised Interactive Fiction, to be precise. Now despite Inform's claims to be easy to use, it is quite nit-picky, thus progress at first was slow. Very slow.
However, I am now writing the story at a much faster pace now that I have the basics down, thus expect it to be released by next Sunday, and a short story either tomorrow or Monday.
EDIT: Also, IF requires a fair amount of testing, more than I can do. If anyone is willing to be a tester for the game (Thus play it earlier, but possibly with bugs), could you PM me please? It'll make it easier to get the story out the door.
Comments
- mr cheeze's brother
It can be found here.
This is my first attempt at a plot twist, so I don't know how well I've pulled it off, any comments would be welcomed...
I don't mean to be too nitpicky, either, but the condition that you've described isn't so much a coping mechanism as it seems to be more a psychotic break from reality than anything else. It's also somewhat somewhat similar to severe depressives who regard themselves as satan or the devil, but you haven't really built that into your story.
I did like it for what it was, though. I'd also like to see more and find out what comes next, if anything.
In regards to the second, I'm not a psychologist, so don't expect my stories to be scientifically accurate.
But thanks a lot
It will be out on Wednesday, with a new short story tomorrow as compensation.
Why is it late? Rewrite started today, wasn't happy with the original product, and the one right now is much better so far
Also, the domain isn't working, and the suppliers haven't emailed me back yet.
As you can tell, the main story has not yet been uploaded, nor have any new short stories. The reason for both of these is explained below.
I was originally just going to write the story as a standard piece of writing, however, I felt that the medium just didn't work, so I decided to switch it over to the exciting world of Interactive Fiction. Serealised Interactive Fiction, to be precise. Now despite Inform's claims to be easy to use, it is quite nit-picky, thus progress at first was slow. Very slow.
However, I am now writing the story at a much faster pace now that I have the basics down, thus expect it to be released by next Sunday, and a short story either tomorrow or Monday.
It will be worth the wait, trust me.
Oh, and by the way, The domain is up.
EDIT: Also, IF requires a fair amount of testing, more than I can do. If anyone is willing to be a tester for the game (Thus play it earlier, but possibly with bugs), could you PM me please? It'll make it easier to get the story out the door.