Confusion

SerephelSerephel
edited August 2008 in General
I am really confused here. Can someone please tell me how people can just go to a toilet, relieve their bowels, and just up and leave?

I'm not talking about not bothering to flush. I'm talking about not even using toilet paper. In all my years of life, I have never not used toilet paper after my deeds. Sure, sometimes you don't actually need the toilet paper, but I always do a safety wipe.

What makes it worse is that in Asia, a lot of places have squatter toilets. These are porcelain holes in the ground. You have to drop your pants and squat over the ground. You poo, and when you flush, it all just washes away through the pipes underneath your feet. So somebody at work, or somebodies, like to walk in, do their business, and then just leave without wiping.

And I'm not working in some bumfuck part of the country either. I work for a company that writes software! And I'm in China! I graduated with honors with a double major in business and Asian studies from a private American university, yet I am one of the most uneducated people in my firm, because most people here have Master's Degrees. And I am almost definitely the dumbest, as everyone here has not only survived but triumphed over the horrors and pressures of the Asian school system.

And yet some people here do not need to wipe their bums.

I am confused.
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Comments

  • illithid235illithid235
    edited July 2008
    They are Asian. Their poos are smaller and more efficient, and as such, do not need to be cleaned up after. They just slide right out without leaving any residue.
  • LinkdeMasterLinkdeMaster
    edited July 2008
    You are very brave to make a thread about this. I would be too embarrased. :D

    Also, illithid, is what you say true about all Asians? Or was it just from a survey of about 5 Asians? :P
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    Yummy, Oriental skidmarks.

    I've used those squat toilets, they're big in France. Yeah, they're...they're not fun. My father also experienced them when he was a travelling musician. A member of his troupe accidentally soiled his trousers due to not squatting properly.
  • Light_ApparitionLight_Apparition
    edited July 2008
    Ew... but I guess it would kind of be just like going in the woods on a camping trip, only that's worse because you're surrounded by poison ivy.

    As for you, illithid, did you survey five asians on this pressing matter? If you didn't I might have to beat you over the head for not asking people questions about how big their crap is.

    (Hm.... do I detect a hint of sarcasm!?)
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    Last night I was working really late, and I was being a terrible procrastinator by getting distracted easily. One of such distractions was writing a small rant on the OB about poo after using the facilities.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    The greatest horror for the modern man is to have a poo and realise, too late, that you have no bog roll.
  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited July 2008
    That's when the waiting game comes, if you sit 'til no one is in the bathroom you can use those paper towels!!! Unless it has an air dry fan... then you're screwed.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    To quote a friend:

    "Once, while in the throes of gastroentertis, I ran out of toilet paper and found myself wiping my chapped starfish with old Aldi receipts. That was a low point."
  • Drooling IguanaDrooling Iguana
    edited July 2008
    Serephel wrote: »
    Last night I was working really late, and I was being a terrible procrastinator by getting distracted easily. One of such distractions was writing a small rant on the OB about poo after using the facilities.
    Tell us more about this rant.
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    This thread is a poop joke.
  • mariomario
    edited July 2008
    This thread is gross.
  • kukopankikukopanki
    edited July 2008
    Well that's why I have a small package (plastic package, as if it were tissues, not the actual rolls) of toilet paper in my backpack when I go to school. Just in case.
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    kukopanki wrote: »
    Well that's why I have a small package.

    Thank you.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    kukopanki wrote: »
    Well that's why I have a small package (plastic package, as if it were tissues, not the actual rolls) of toilet paper in my backpack when I go to school. Just in case.

    Wait, you poop in school? At my school, nobody poops, they just piddle and if they need a poop, they hold it in. Only the weird kids poop in school.
  • kukopankikukopanki
    edited July 2008
    I avoid it as much as I can, but at one point I had to stay in school every Tuesday uninterrupted from 10 am to 8 pm. What could I do?
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    You could not poop.


    Like a man.
  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited July 2008
    mario wrote: »
    This thread is gross.

    Yes!!!
  • X'o'LoreX'o'Lore
    edited July 2008
    I wish people people at work would refrain from "doing their business" at work. Seriously, the bathroom is right by my cubicle. I mean, I've had to leave my computer for periods of time because of the smell on a couple occasions.
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    I repeat.
    Poop joke.
  • deku12345deku12345
    edited July 2008
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  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    Drooling Iguana wrote: »
    Tell us more about this rant.

    This thread was the rant. My mind was shattered from the combined mental fatigue of my assignment over the last few weeks, and the consequent need for great quantities of alcohol. It felt relevant to rant about. So I did.

    I mean, there was toilet paper in the stall. He didn't use it. It blows my mind.
  • Drooling IguanaDrooling Iguana
    edited July 2008
    I know. I was trying to turn this into a recursive thread but you ruined it!
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    Oops.
  • Mish42Mish42
    edited July 2008
    I didn't know you could tell if someone had used toilet paper or not... Did he smell really bad??
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    Well it's pretty easy to tell if someone used toilet paper or no. If they don't flush, and if there's no toilet paper in the bowl, then you know for certain that he used no toilet paper.

    HEY!

    Did you know that in North Korea, children are taught that Kim Jong Il and his father, Kim Il Sung, are partially divine, and that they don't poo?
  • LinkdeMasterLinkdeMaster
    edited July 2008
    Light_Apparition wrote: »
    As for you, illithid, did you survey five asians on this pressing matter? If you didn't I might have to beat you over the head for not asking people questions about how big their crap is.

    (Hm.... do I detect a hint of sarcasm!?)

    Was that taking the mickey out of me? :P
  • waitingfortheencorewaitingfortheencore
    edited July 2008
    Serephel wrote: »
    Well it's pretty easy to tell if someone used toilet paper or no. If they don't flush, and if there's no toilet paper in the bowl, then you know for certain that he used no toilet paper.


    What if they save their spent paper for medical research?
  • AgentcelAgentcel
    edited July 2008
    Oh my god, we played basketball with kids over there, and I got up close to defend one...

    They smell like fucking cow shit.

    That is all.
  • kukopankikukopanki
    edited July 2008
    Serephel wrote: »
    Well it's pretty easy to tell if someone used toilet paper or no. If they don't flush, and if there's no toilet paper in the bowl, then you know for certain that he used no toilet paper.

    What if they threw it into the trash can? Hey, I know I would never do that but I hear some people do!
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    Serephel wrote: »
    Did you know that in North Korea, children are taught that Kim Jong Il and his father, Kim Il Sung, are partially divine, and that they don't poo?

    I did! I also knew it's customary to thank Kim Jong Il (not face to face, obviously) after having surgery.

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