So, yeah, once again, the pains were a false alarm.
Tomorrow Vienna is to be swept. What does this entail? Well, a sweep is basically where Vienna invites her midwife into our home and allows the midwife to quite violently finger fuck her in an attempt to loosen the cervix and dislodge the mucus cap.
They are performed during an internal examination and involve your midwife inserting a finger into your cervix (to stretch it a little) and then making a firm, circular, sweeping movement around the neck of your womb. This movement helps to separate your cervix from the membranes of the sac that is currently housing your baby, and is a procedure that helps to stimulate the release of prostaglandins - the hormones that signal to your brain that it's time to start labour.
Now, see, I've offered to let her let me do this (although it'd really be a lot less scientific) but she has thus far refused. Methinks it's time to write to the agony aunt and ask if Vienna is really a lesbian.
Esmé was born at 22:29 on 24th September 2010 after a 23 hour long labour.
The birth wasn't without complications though. Vienna gave birth and got a tear in the process. Normally, a tear is a minor thing. Twenty minutes in surgery getting it stitched up and all is well. In this case, something went wrong in a big way, and Vienna just ended up gushing blood. In the end she lost a litre of blood and had a big team of doctors around her trying to find the cause and stem it.
Both Vienna's mum and myself were in hysterical tears while Vienna was in surgery, but we stayed strong for her when she came back.
Fortunately, she's okay now, and mother and baby are doing brilliantly.
Behemoth baby? I was 9lbs 8oz, 22 inches. So, CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS! You made a girl version of me. I don't think you could do any better than that. Good job, man!
Very cute, if only babies had the delicate motor function needed to type and a mostly complete understanding of the parents language in which to type. It would be PRETTY awesome. Also kids would get less crap on xbox live if infants played as well.
Comments
Tomorrow Vienna is to be swept. What does this entail? Well, a sweep is basically where Vienna invites her midwife into our home and allows the midwife to quite violently finger fuck her in an attempt to loosen the cervix and dislodge the mucus cap.
I'm really not joking ...
To quote askbaby.com:
Now, see, I've offered to let her let me do this (although it'd really be a lot less scientific) but she has thus far refused. Methinks it's time to write to the agony aunt and ask if Vienna is really a lesbian.
Esmé was born at 22:29 on 24th September 2010 after a 23 hour long labour.
The birth wasn't without complications though. Vienna gave birth and got a tear in the process. Normally, a tear is a minor thing. Twenty minutes in surgery getting it stitched up and all is well. In this case, something went wrong in a big way, and Vienna just ended up gushing blood. In the end she lost a litre of blood and had a big team of doctors around her trying to find the cause and stem it.
Both Vienna's mum and myself were in hysterical tears while Vienna was in surgery, but we stayed strong for her when she came back.
Fortunately, she's okay now, and mother and baby are doing brilliantly.
Obligatory photo:
That's scary about Vienna, but glad to hear she's doing okay!
To get the true sense of scale of these behemoth baby. 8 pounds 5 ounces, 53cm long.
Congrats Bruce (and Vienna!!) on your healthy, lovely daughter
Congratulations.
And thanks for naming her after my Grandmother, I didn't know you cared that much.
Spoilsport.