The Revenge of the Spawn of the Somewhat Amusing News Thread Strikes Back Thread

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  • edited December 2007
    Man Drinks Liter of Vodka at Airport Line
    BERLIN — A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.

    The incident occurred at the Nuremberg airport on Tuesday, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a holiday in Egypt.

    New airport rules prohibit passengers from carrying larger quantities of liquid onto planes, and he was told at a security check he would have to either throw out the bottle of vodka or pay a fee to have his carry-on bag checked as cargo.

    Instead, he chugged the bottle down — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function, police said.

    A doctor called to the scene determined he had possibly life-threatening alcohol poisoning, and he was sent to a Nuremberg clinic for treatment.

    The man, whose name was not released, is expected to be able to complete his journey home in a few days.
  • edited December 2007
    A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning

    It's a fine line between Somewhat Amusing and Fucked-Up. Little words like "nearly" can make all the difference.
  • edited December 2007
    Genius.
  • edited December 2007
    That's pretty hardcore.

    Or stingy.
  • edited December 2007
    What, is finishing what's on your plate being stingy?

    There are sober people in Africa.
  • edited December 2007
    If you don't finish your beer, you can't have any Bailey's.
  • edited December 2007
    Just a liter? Pss...
  • edited December 2007
    !f he didn't get alcohol poisoning that would have been an awesome plane ride.

    Awesome or woozy.

    But probably awesome after puking in an airplane toilet for 15 minutes.
  • edited December 2007
    Oh man I wish I had been there to see that. Amazing.
  • edited December 2007
    Dad sells son's 90-dollar video game online for more than 9000
    (PC World:)A Canadian man claims to have recently caught his 15 year-old son smoking pot in the backyard with two of his "delinquent friends." As penance for the boy's misdeeds, the father listed for sale what he called the "Holy Grail" of unopened Christmas gifts, Guitar Hero III for Wii.

    "I am now finding it hard to justify rewarding him with this gift after he so greatly disappointed me," writes the brooding parent on his eBay listing page. "I know smoking a joint isn't the end of the world, but if you can convince me that he deserves the gift, then I will end the auction."

    Consequently, the $90 game sold for $9,100.01 to an Australian buyer. Apparently, the majority of people sided with the dad.

    "I am still considering getting him a game for his Nintendo," adds k_lid, the seller. "Maybe something like Barbie as the Island Princess or Dancing With the Stars."

    Highly profile Ebay auctions are often purchased for abnormally high prices by buyers seeking publicity.
    ***
    This link apparently is the bidding page for the game auction.
  • edited December 2007
    Funny really. He wants to draw him away from drugs by making him gay. Good times.
  • edited December 2007
    Hey, Barbie as the Island Princess is the best fucking game ever.
  • edited December 2007
    I'm taking that out of context now to smear you.
  • edited December 2007
    Over Nine THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!11!!1!
  • edited December 2007
    MP3 player bought from Wal-Mart preloaded with porn
    COOKEVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- A father gave his 10-year-old daughter a Christmas present that would make Santa blush.

    Now Daryl Hill wants to know why an MP3 video player he bought at a Wal-Mart in Sparta was preloaded with pornography and explicit songs.

    Hill bought three of the players as Christmas presents for his children. He said one of the devices had apparently been returned to the store from a previous owner who loaded sex clips and songs with lyrics about using drugs.

    "Within 10 minutes, my daughter was crying," Hill said Thursday. "I wish I could take the thoughts and images out of her head."

    Hill questioned why Wal-Mart Stores Inc. would sell used merchandise as new, which he said violates its own policies.

    A company spokesman said in an e-mail to WSMV-TV of Nashville that stores are not supposed to return opened packages to the sales floor and that the matter was under investigation.

    Hill said he declined Wal-Mart's offer to replace the MP3 player. He said he has already bought his daughter a new one and is hanging onto the controversial one until he talks to a lawyer.
  • edited December 2007
    Double post of awesome!

    This is what happens when Adam goes out into public. Apparently he was in Missouri the other day.

    Dozens Of Girls Fight, Possibly Over Boy
    INDEPENDENCE, Mo. -- Dozens of girls fought -- possibly about a boy -- outside a mall on Wednesday, and the brawl ended with mall security officers using pepper spray and police using Taser guns, authorities said.

    It happened outside an Applebees at Independence Center and involved about 20 to 30 teenage girls, police said.

    A mall security officer was injured trying to break up the fight.

    Police took four females into custody. Two of them were juveniles.

    Authorities were investigating whether the fight was related to two scuffles on Christmas night.

    A group of girls got into a fight at Ward Parkway Mall, and a brawl broke out in a group of boys outside an AMC Theater across the street from Independence Center.

    "I just think it's scary that it can get that bad in a public place where so many people are," said Mallory Cooper, a shopper.

    Devon Cooper said, "You have to be aware of where you're walking, especially over there where there's a lot more kids doing just God knows what. We could have gone out the opposite entrance and been in the middle of that."

    Officers met with the managers of the AMC Theaters, Independence Center and the Independence Commons shopping center, and they all agreed that more security personnel and police would patrol the malls to deter future fights, authorities said in a news release.

    "We also want it known it is our joint resolve to insure Independence remains a safe and enjoyable environment for everyone," the news release stated. "There is a zero tolerance for any kind of behavior that puts public safety at risk."
  • edited December 2007
    That damn Dave Jones' antics will never cease.
  • edited December 2007
    Man, I wish I had some twenty-something girls fighting over me!
  • edited December 2007
    So, what, you get to take the meanest, strongest, most violent one to the hospital when they are done? I don't think that's a very optimal way to choose a mate personally, but I guess it'd be better than my own method.
  • edited December 2007
    These girls are just putting natural selection into practice. I approve.

    It's also possible that the boy was wearing Tag body spray, which apparently causes girls to violently rape you.
  • edited December 2007
    That HAS to be it! Those commercials say so!
  • edited December 2007
    Amoeba Boy wrote: »
    Tag body spray, which apparently causes hot girls to violently rape you.

    Left out that fine detail.
  • edited December 2007
    We've been warned.
  • edited December 2007
    It's the price we pay to maintain our rock'n'roll lifestyle.
  • edited December 2007
    I don't see why the guy with the MP3 player was so mad, that's what you should expect when you buy some shit in Sparta.

    EDIT: I think my day would be greatly improved if I walked into a fight involving 20 girls.
  • edited January 2008
    Unknowing twins marry each other

    It's a shame the story is used to further someone's political agenda, when it should have had interviews with the twins with funny statements.
  • edited January 2008
    Melbourne youth faces party bill
    Five hundred drunken teenagers have attacked police during a wild party in the Australian city of Melbourne.

    Officers answering a complaint about noise were forced to retreat and await reinforcements after they were attacked with rocks and bottles.

    The teenager who threw the party while his parents were away could now face a bill for thousands of dollars to pay for the damage done in the rampage.

    Police blamed lack of adult supervision for the under-age drinking spree.

    The trouble started after what appeared to be a routine complaint about a noisy party in a suburban neighbourhood. The officers backed away when confronted by a large crowd of drunken 16 and 17-year-olds.

    Glass bottles and other missiles were thrown at police cars and nearby houses and gardens were vandalised before at least 30 officers, a helicopter and the police dog squad arrived to try to restore calm.

    An estimated A$20,000 ($18,000; £9,200) worth of damage was done but no arrests were made.

    Victoria state Police Commissioner Christine Nixon said the teenager who threw the party, 16-year-old Corey Delaney, may hold ultimate responsibility.

    "He needs to learn a lesson, and one way or another we will be making sure that happens," she told a news conference.

    The BBC's Phil Mercer in Sydney says the teenage host said he hoped his mum and dad would not find out what had happened.

    But they have. His mother Jo, on her way home from Queensland, told the Seven Network: "We're a good family. I'm just devastated and horrified that this has actually occurred.

    "Obviously he's very scared of the consequences that we're going to bring upon him."

    Corey Delaney is reported to have advertised his party on the internet and by text messages and it attracted a number of strangers. He told local media his invited guests had no part in the melee.

    But when asked what advice he had for other teenagers planning a home alone party, he appeared unrepentant and told the Nine Network: "Get me to do it for you.

    "Best party ever, that's what everyone's saying."
  • edited January 2008
    try to restore calmness.
    Retards.
  • edited January 2008
    um, you're joking, right?
  • edited January 2008
    Here's an interview with him!

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=qm61svN4U5g