I would've gone to a lot more high school football games if this happened more often. The article itself is so so, but check out the video. Absolutely hilarious.
It’s a scene familiar at thousands of high schools across the country. The cheerleaders stretch a hand-painted paper banner across the field, the band plays the school’s fight song, the crowd roars, the team charges through the banner and flattens the homecoming queen.
Hold it. Rewind to the bit about the homecoming queen being mowed down by the team. That wasn’t the way they drew it up on the blackboard.
Can you show that part again? And again? And again?
Until last Friday, Cali Kaltschmidt was just one of thousands of homecoming queens and tens of thousands of cheerleaders at high schools great and small across the United States. And then, just as the Auburn (Wash.) High School Trojans were about to burst through the banner and onto the field, Kaltschmidt noticed a slight flaw with the way the paper was hanging. So she left her post next to it, dashed to the spot that needed fixing, reached up to do a quick bit of housekeeping, and ... SPLAT!
“I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” she told NBC News with a smile that was, well, cheerful. “It’s funny, I guess.”
She guesses right. But at the time, it was frightening.
Zach Tate, a 6-foot-2-inch, 245-pound tower of armored muscle hit her head-on at what looked like warp speed. Both went down in a pile, tangled in the paper banner.
Cali’s twin sister Sierra, also a cheerleader, ran over to assess the damage. Luckily, Kaltschmidt suffered no injury other than a bruised jaw and a dislodged rhinestone tiara. Sierra tended to the most serious damage, quickly setting her sibling’s crown back in its proper place. On the sidelines, she got an ice pack for her jaw.
And then, like the trouper that she is, Cali went back to cheerleading.
She said her boyfriend, who’s on the football team, was unaware that she had been squished.
“He didn’t even notice it happened,” she said, adding that he saw her later sitting on the bench with the ice pack on her jaw and asked what happened. “He said, ‘I’m sorry,’” Cali reported.
What makes it more amazing is that the accident, which has been played endlessly on the Internet, wasn’t even the worst thing that happened to Cali in what was for her an eventful week.
On Thursday morning, she wrecked her car, escaping with just a banged-up knee and a bruise on her neck from the seat belt. That night, she was elected homecoming queen. The next day, she had her unscheduled encounter with Tate.
And now she’s an Internet and television star, the spunky brunette who took a smearing and kept on cheering.
“It’s not something I’d want to be known for, I guess,” she told a local television station earlier this week. “I mean it was really embarrassing.”
It's going to be a very big deal even in the short term. Nightly shows like the Tonight Show or the Colbert Report will have to go into reruns almost immediately, and the season is only half-written for a lot of popular shows, so they'll be on a crazy hiatus come January or so. I need my Heroes!!
A teenage schoolboy was pulled around his classroom on a lead and spanked by a stripper after a birthday surprise blunder.
The pupil's mum had ordered an agency to give her son a "surprise" on his 16th birthday - and the teacher had even agreed to film the prank.
But it all went wrong when the unnamed company sent a stripper dressed as a policewoman instead of a "gorillagram" - in what it called a booking error.
One witness told reporters: "She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn't been doing his homework.
"Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and lead from her bag and told him to put them on."
After walking the boy round the classroom and spanking him with a whip - the action turned even more blue.
"She took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in," the source said.
It was at that point the shocked teacher - who had not been told what the surprise was - called an end to the show.
A spokeswoman for the local education authority, Nottinghamshire County Council, said they were investigating how the incident happened.
She confirmed nobody had been suspended from Nottingham's Arnold Hill School and Technology College and the police were not involved.
The spokeswoman said: "We and the school are investigating into the situation."
Yeah, I was wondering about that, too. Exactly how much time passed from "you're a naughty boy" to cream on the ass? Or is the mom really open-minded and just assumed the prank was meant to make the boy think he had a stripper?
Timberlake Getting His Own Golf Tourney
2 hours ago
PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Justin Timberlake is getting his own golf tournament. The 26-year-old singer will host the PGA Tour event in Las Vegas, which will be renamed the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Who don't read good Open.
Timberlake becomes the 14th celebrity to host an event, joining notables Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby and Glen Campbell. The five-year agreement begins next year.
"We will make sure to make this event unique and memorable, and we will raise money for charity while participating in the greatest game ever played," Timberlake said in a statement Monday. "Raising money to better children's lives while playing golf? I can't think of a better way to pass the time."
The Las Vegas tournament is part of the Fall Series in October, played after the FedEx Cup. George McNeill is the defending champion.
EDIT: sorry for the added text, i just couldn't help it.
GRINNELL, Iowa (CNN) -- The college student who was told what question to ask at one of New York Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign events says "voters have the right to know what happened" and she wasn't the only one who was planted.
In an exclusive on-camera interview with CNN, Muriel Gallo-Chasanoff, a 19-year-old sophomore at Grinnell College in Grinnell, Iowa, said that giving anyone specific questions to ask is "dishonest," and the whole incident has given her a negative outlook on politics.
Gallo-Chasanoff, whose story was first reported in the campus newspaper, said what happened was really pretty simple: She says a senior Clinton staffer asked if she'd like to ask the senator a question after an energy speech the Democratic presidential hopeful gave in Newton, Iowa, on November 6.
"I sort of thought about it, and I said 'Yeah, can I ask how her energy plan compares to the other candidates' energy plans?'" Gallo-Chasanoff said Monday night.
"'I don't think that's a good idea," the staffer said, according to Gallo-Chasanoff, "because I don't know how familiar she is with their plans." VideoWatch the student describe how she was approached »
He then opened a binder to a page that, according to Gallo-Chasanoff, had about eight questions on it.
"The top one was planned specifically for a college student," she added. " It said 'college student' in brackets and then the question."
Topping that sheet of paper was the following: "As a young person, I'm worried about the long-term effects of global warming. How does your plan combat climate change?"
And while she said she would have rather used her own question, Gallo-Chasanoff said she generally didn't have a problem asking the campaign's because she "likes to be agreeable," adding that since she told the staffer she'd ask their pre-typed question she "didn't want to go back on [her] word."
Clinton campaign spokesman Mo Elleithee said Clinton had "no idea who she was calling on."
"This is not acceptable campaign process moving forward. We've taken steps to ensure that it never happens again," she said in a written response to CNN.
Gallo-Chasanoff wasn't so sure.
"I don't know whether Hillary knew what my question was going to be, but it seemed like she knew to call on me because there were so many people, and ... I was the only college student in that area," she said.
In a separate statement in response to the campus article, the campaign also added, "On this occasion a member of our staff did discuss a possible question about Senator Clinton's energy plan at a forum. ... This is not standard policy and will not be repeated again."
Gallo-Chasanoff may have some doubts about that one as well.
"After the event," she said, "I heard another man ... talking about the question he asked, and he said that the campaign had asked him to ask that question."
The man she references prefaced his question by saying that it probably didn't have anything to do with energy, and then posed the following: "I wonder what you propose to do to create jobs for the middle-class person, such as here in Newton where we lost Maytag."
A Maytag factory in Newton recently closed, forcing hundreds of people out of their jobs.
During the course of the late-night interview on Grinnell's campus, Gallo-Chasanoff also told CNN that the day before the school's newspaper, Scarlet and Black, printed the story, she wanted the reporter to inform the campaign out of courtesy to let them know it would be published.
She said the "head of publicity for the campaign," a man whose name she could not recall, had no factual disputes with the story. But, she added, a Clinton intern spoke to her to say the campaign requests she "not talk about" the story to any more media outlets and that if she did she should inform a staffer.
"I'm not under any real obligation to do that, and I haven't talked to [the campaign] anymore," Gallo-Chasanoff said, adding that she also doesn't plan to.
"If what I do is come and just be totally truthful, then that's all anyone can ask of me, and that's all I can ask of myself. So I'll feel good with what I've done. I'll feel like I've done the right thing."
The Clinton campaign's acknowledgment that it planted a question re-enforces a widely held criticism of the senator -- that she is not entirely honest, said Bill Schneider, CNN's senior political analyst.
"It's the same criticism often made of her husband," Schneider said. "Most Americans never felt Bill Clinton was honest and trustworthy, even when he got elected in 1992 -- with only 43 percent of the vote. His critics called him 'Slick Willy.' ... Will her critics start referring to the New York senator as `Slick Hillary?'"
Asked if this experience makes her less likely to support Clinton's presidential bid, Gallo-Chasanoff, an undecided voter, said, "I think she has a lot to offer, but I -- this experience makes me look at her campaign a little bit differently."
"The question and answer sessions -- especially in Iowa -- are really important. That's where the voters get to ... have like a real genuine conversation with this politician who could be representing them."
While she acknowledged "it's possible that all campaigns do these kind of tactics," she said it still doesn't make it right.
"Personally I want to know that I have someone who's honest representing me."
Gallo-Chasanoff's story comes at a time when a second person has also come forward with a similar one. Geoffrey Mitchell of Hamilton, Illinois, a town located on the Iowa border, told CNN the Clinton campaign also wanted him to ask a certain question at an Iowa event in April.
"He asked me if I would ask Sen. Clinton about ways she was going to confront the president on the war in Iraq, specifically war funding," said Geoffrey Mitchell, a supporter of Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois. "I told him it was not a question I felt comfortable with."
No questions were taken at the event. Elleithee said this incident was different than what happened with Gallo-Chasanoff in Newton. Elleithee said the staffer "bumped into someone he marginally knew" and during a conversation with Mitchell, "Iraq came up." Elleithee denied the campaign tried to plant him as a friendly questioner in the audience.
Mitchell said he had never met the staffer before the event.
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A Port St. Lucie woman said she saw Jesus Christ in her breakfast.
Marilyn Smith told WPBF News 25 that she was making breakfast on Sunday morning when she got a spiritual surprise: a faint image resembling Jesus and Mary on her pancake.
"I saw what looked like, possibly, what people may imagine Jesus would look like, or Moses," Smith said.
Smith's daughter, Dana Okane, told WPBF that she recognized the figures as soon as she saw them.
"Being a very spiritual person, which I am, when I saw that, I said, 'Jesus and Mary!'," Okane told WPBF.
Smith said she was making a batch of pancakes when one of them caught her eye. She said she was just about to put chocolate powder on the cake when she noticed the strange image on the cake.
Okane told WPBF that she thinks the image is a message from God.
"I think the message is extremely clear that the world had better clean up its act," Okane said.
When asked why she thought God would want to put a message on a pancake, Okane told WPBF reporter Amanda Burden, "Because it will get a lot of recognition."
Okane is now selling the holy cake on Internet auction site eBay with a starting bid of $35.
Okane said she thinks the cake is a miracle, but Smith is a bit more doubtful.
"Do I think that any nut will come along and pay a fortune for it like they did with the cheesecake or cheese sandwich? No, I hope not, because it really will eventually get really smelly and deteriorate," Smith told WPBF.
Smith and Okane said they plan to preserve the pancake for the next few days, then they will ship it off to the highest bidder.
"We used to say, 'Holy cow,' like everybody else, and after this happened, our new expression is, 'Holy pancake!'," Smith told WPBF.
Interested buyers can check out the women's EBay auction by clicking here.
It gets better too! The Ebay listing is also quite hilarious
This is a spiritual, unusual and unique pancake that we believe to be holy and depicts what looks to be Jesus and Mary. My brother said it looks more like Moses and Elijah. What is your guess?? It was created on November 5th by accident along with a batch of pancakes for breakfast. With no suspicions of any figures being in it, my mother flipped it over to do the other side and discovered that these are obviously religious figures dressed in the early desert garb that would have been worn at that time in Jeruselem. Before she could stop herself, my mother was sprinkling chocolate powder when she stopped immediately after noticing the obvious!! The pancake was too special to serve, and so we offer it for your admiration and perhaps purchase. It should have happened at Christmas, but close enough. This is being preserved safely until purchase by being wrapped in saran and enclosed in a temperature-controlled foam tray. If you would like to own this pancake, you may feel free to bid. We created this Ebay ID just for this pancake! Thank you for looking. The shipping is FREE. We never dreamed that something unusual would happen to us. God bless those that took the time to look at our wondrous pancake.
As far as Clinton campaign goes, they suggested a different question that spoke of global warming. I don't know about that one. I hear a lot from meteorologists basically saying that it's all a bunch of bullshit. Really the only people who do seem to make such a big deal out of it are politicians. So am I supposed to trust a bunch of crooked liars over the experts?
And the pancake looks strikingly like a pancake to me.
My meteorology friends have all said that there's no question that global warming is happening, at least a bit. The thing they don't know about is the cause of it. It could be man-made, or it could be just a natural process. They don't agree with all this fuss about it, from what they've said.
I HAVEN'T SEEN AL GORES MOVIE, YET. ANYONE WHO'S SEEN IT SEEMS TO BE CONVINCED THAT THE STANDARD PATTERN OF GLOBAL WARMING AND COOLING HAS ACCELERATED. HISTORY SHOWS THAT WERE GO IN HEATING AND COOLING TRENDS, IT IS A NATURAL PROCESS AND WE LIVE DURING A HEATING TREND. SOME PEOPLE ARGUE THAT OVER THE LAST 100 YEARS OR SO, DUE TO HUMAN INVOLVEMENT, IT'S HEATING UP MUCH MORE RAPIDLY THAN IT EVER DID ON PREVIOUS CYCLES. BUT ANYONE WHO PUTS OUT THESE PROJECTIONS OF THE WORLD INCREASING ANOTHER 5 DEGREES OVER THE NEXT CENTURY IS A COMPLETE MORON. IF IT IS CAUSED BY HUMANS, THEN WE'RE MORE LIKELY TO SEE IT SLOW DOWN RATHER THAN SPEED UP.
Comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvqIcURaXTw
Took a smearing, keeps on cheering
Oh god, now who will make our shitty remakes of 30 year old horror movies, and the subsequential sequels?
"Or can we?"
"Yes... but... [*fiddle with cigarette*] what if we could?"
You can if you slash the price!
EDIT: sorry for the added text, i just couldn't help it.
Holy Pancake Auctioned On eBay
It gets better too! The Ebay listing is also quite hilarious
EDIT: even more than that, though, I see a burnt pancake.
And the pancake looks strikingly like a pancake to me.