The Revenge of the Spawn of the Somewhat Amusing News Thread Strikes Back Thread

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Comments

  • edited May 2006
    Wow. I can't believe this wasn't mentioned by my classmates who ran in the event.
  • edited May 2006
    Known Carcinogen Present in Certain Soft Drinks


    I didn't want to make a new thread on this and I wasn't sure where to put to this article link so that's why it's here.
  • edited May 2006
    Naturally, I don't drink any of those drinks. Alcoholism has saved my life one again.
  • godgod
    edited May 2006
    they've found that everything gives gives you cancer, so im not too incredibly worried.
  • edited May 2006
    What you need to do is actually drink those in moderation, thus building your cancer tolerance.
  • edited May 2006
    There is no cancer tolerance. You injest carcinogens until they reach a certain level within your body that causes cancer. The "risk" level for carcinogens is the level that has been proven to give cancer to 50% of rats (however many rats they used overall for each particular trial). People are alot stronger than rats and even then, it's only a 50/50 chance. I feel safe enough.
  • edited May 2006
    I'm sure they will remove the offending substance immediately rather than risk any bad publicity. It seems to me that with all the soda americans drink a good portion of us would have cancer.
  • edited May 2006
    A good portion of us DO have cancer.
  • edited May 2006
    deku12345 wrote:
    A good portion of us DO have cancer.
    You make good point there shining, super, dog man!
  • edited June 2006
    The next Video Game Scandal? Porn on the PSP corrupting america's youth!
    Adolescent humans deeply interested in portrayals of sexual acts?! Inconceivable!
    Be Sure to read the Fox news article which it occurs to me should be put in the fucked up news thread.
  • edited June 2006
    Oh my god! How does it "magically display pictures" of naked women out of thin air? It's the DEVIL'S WORK!
  • edited June 2006
    Anyone want to help me sue microsoft for being able to look at porn on internet explorer?
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    no. there's enough other things you could probably sue them for.
  • edited June 2006
    I suppose laptops, cell phones and PDAs are equally capable of this mysterious spontaneous porn generation. Burn them all!
  • edited June 2006
    Hey guys! I made a horrible discovery. People are actually naked under their clothes! Anyone around you could suddenly turn into porn if you're not careful.
  • edited June 2006
    GASP!
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    which is why we must permenantly attach clothes to our body so everything from the knees up to our shoulders cant be seen.
  • edited June 2006
    No time for that! Burn the people! Burn them all!
  • edited June 2006
    ...and thus the world was saved from the warped hell know as nakedness once again.
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    the one problem is all the clothes were the first things to burn, so kids saw people wearing nothing but fire.
  • edited June 2006
    Snake On Plane!
    Pilot Finds Snake Stowaway Inside Cockpit

    CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) - Monty Coles was 3,000 feet in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane's instrument panel: a 4 1/2-foot snake.

    Coles was taking a leisurely flight over the West Virginia countryside in his Piper Cherokee last weekend and was preparing to land in Ohio when the snake revealed itself.

    ``Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this,'' said the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident.

    But advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor sprung to mind: ``No matter what happens, fly the plane.''

    Coles attempted to swat the snake but it fell to the pilot's feet, then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

    While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

    ``There was no way I was letting that thing go,'' he said. ``It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling.''

    The next step was to radio for emergency landing clearance.

    ``They came back and asked what my problem was,'' he said. ``I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in.''

    After a smooth landing, Coles posed for pictures with the snake, then let it loose.

    ``That snake resides in Ohio now,'' he said.
  • edited June 2006
    Where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    where's a taser when you need one?
  • edited June 2006
    mario wrote:
    I suppose laptops, cell phones and PDAs are equally capable of this mysterious spontaneous porn generation. Burn them all!


    Even the macbook and macbook pro?!
  • edited June 2006
    Holy Shit! now that snakes have infiltrated planes we are all doomed!

    Especially the macbook and macbook pro, but thankfully they are precious assets to humanity rendering them impervious to fire.

    (and coincidentally high altitude serpents)
  • edited June 2006
    He just wanted to do it himself
    A cow escaped Sunday morning from a slaughterhouse in Yokkaichi, Mie Prefecture, and seriously injured an employee trying to recapture it, police said.

    Kazumi Kawamura, 56, was knocked unconscious when the 730-kg cow charged into him, they said.

    The 3-year-old animal bolted from the slaughterhouse at around 6:50 a.m., shortly after being transported there by truck.

    "The cow was being delivered to the slaughterhouse, and it was startled by a loud sound and just ran off," said Masashi Kitabayashi, a police official in Yokkaichi.

    It ran about 6 km as Kawamura, six other colleagues and 20 police officers gave chase.

    The cow later smashed headlong into a metal fence and died, the police said.

    Slaughterhouse workers took the cow's body away.

    "I don't know whether it will be processed into meat or not," Kitabayashi said.
  • edited June 2006
    Perhaps the Japanese government can blame that on American meat too?
  • edited June 2006
    Fight the good fight, Jacky-boy, fight the good fight!

    because acting tough is half the battle.
  • edited June 2006
    Senior Uses Katamari Reference in Graduation Speech
    (isn't real news, but happened at a graduation at my school yesterday)

    Near quote: "Ever since we entered the academic system, we've been like adhesive balls, rolling around and picking up knowledge as we grow physically, mentally. And now, as we enter the next step in our lives, we've become more than sticky balls. We have become stars, through the sky and into space."