The Revenge of the Spawn of the Somewhat Amusing News Thread Strikes Back Thread

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  • edited September 2008
    mario wrote: »
    Sometimes it seems like they care about animals more than humans.

    Only sometimes?
  • edited October 2008
    Skinny dipper invades moat around Japanese Imperial Palace
    The story
    Police have apprehended a Western man who went skinny dipping in a moat ringing the Imperial Palace in a busy Tokyo business district, attracting a huge crowd, officials said Tuesday.

    The naked middle-aged man jumped into the moat, then threw rocks and splashed water at two policemen who chased him in a rowing boat, a Tokyo Metropolitan Police official said on condition of anonymity, citing protocol.

    The police official did not know the man's name or nationality. Public broadcaster NHK and Kyodo News agency said the man is believed to be a 40-year-old Briton living in Spain who visited the moat with several Spanish friends.

    There's a video too if you check the link.
  • edited October 2008
    Jesus shark!

    DNA test proves it -- baby shark has no father
    RICHMOND, Virginia (AP) -- Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark.

    In a study reported Friday in the Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female blacktip shark in a Virginia aquarium contained no genetic material from a male.

    The first documented case of asexual reproduction, or parthenogenesis, among sharks involved a pup born to a hammerhead at an Omaha, Nebraska, zoo.

    "This first case was no fluke," Demian Chapman, a shark scientist and lead author of the second study, said in a statement. "It is quite possible that this is something female sharks of many species can do on occasion."

    The scientists cautioned that the rare asexual births should not be viewed as a possible solution to declining global shark populations. The aquarium sharks that reproduced without mates each carried only one pup, while some species can produce litters of a dozen or more.

    "It is very unlikely that a small number of female survivors could build their numbers up very quickly by undergoing virgin birth," Chapman said.

    The medical mystery began 16 months ago after the death of Tidbit, a blacktip shark that had lived for eight years at the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center in Virginia Beach. No male blacktip sharks were present during her eight years.

    In May 2007, the 5-foot, 94-pound shark died after it was given a sedative before undergoing a yearly checkup. The 10-inch shark pup was found during a necropsy, surprising aquarium officials. They initially thought the embryonic pup was either the product of a virgin birth or a cross between the blacktip and a male of another shark species -- which has never been documented, Chapman said.

    Tidbit's pup was nearly full term, and likely would have been quickly eaten by "really big sand tiger sharks" that were in the tank, Chapman said in a telephone interview from Florida.

    That is what happened to the tiny hammerhead pup in the Omaha case.

    "By the time they could realize what they were looking at, something munched the baby," he said of aquarium workers. The remains of the pup were used for the DNA testing.

    Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild.

    The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.

    Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.

    The scientists said their findings offer "intriguing questions" about how frequently automictic parthenogenesis occurs in the wild.

    "It is possible that parthenogenesis could become more common in these sharks if population densities become so low that females have trouble finding mates," said Mahmood Shivji, one of the scientists and director of the Guy Harvey Research Institute at Nova Southeastern University in Florida.

    The DNA fingerprinting techniques used by the scientists are identical to those used in human paternity testing.

    Chapman, who is with the Institute for Ocean Conservation Science at Stony Brook, was assisted in the study by Beth Firchau of the Virginia Aquarium.

    Chapman and Shivji were on the team that made the first discovery of virgin birth involving the Nebraska shark.
  • edited October 2008
    Wow. See, this is the kind of thing that lends credence to evolution. The world is not a well-ordered system that follows a strict set of rules. Shit's crazy out there.
  • edited October 2008
    No! You don't get it Andrew!

    The savior of all Sharkkind has come! The Father, Son, and Holy Shark Trinity! The King of Kingsharks! The Shark of Hosts!

    He has been crucified in his necropsy, and in a few days time he shall rise from his watery grave and bring back salvation to the dying shark breeds! Long live our king of sharks!
  • edited October 2008
    I think you're overlooking one major detail, Serephel!
    Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark.

    That means there are 2 Shark Jesuses out there!
  • edited October 2008
    OH SNAP!
  • edited October 2008
    I bet that the Jesus Sharks can swim backwards.
  • godgod
    edited October 2008
    With two of them out there, it's only a matter of time before the oceans of the world are turned into salty wine.
  • edited October 2008
    Takeru wrote: »
    I bet that the Jesus Sharks can swim backwards.
    I've heard that they can swim on land.
  • edited October 2008
    ...which is illegal in Oregon.
  • edited October 2008
    The first was never quite born, but the second was eaten.

    The body of Christ-shark?
  • edited October 2008
    Colin Powell Hip-Hops

    Normally we'd quote the article here. This one can be better summed up with two pictures:

    _45109105_262d5617-694c-4b65-b8ea-77c24fa4c6d6.jpg

    colin_powell_460_1009487c.jpg
  • edited October 2008
    San Francisco may become safe for prostitutes
    SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- In this live-and-let-live town, where medical marijuana clubs do business next to grocery stores and an annual fair celebrates sadomasochism, prostitutes could soon walk the streets without fear of arrest.

    San Francisco would become the first major U.S. city to decriminalize prostitution if voters next month approve Proposition K, a measure that forbids local authorities from investigating, arresting or prosecuting anyone for selling sex.

    The ballot question technically would not legalize prostitution, since state law still prohibits it, but the measure would eliminate the power of local law enforcement officials to go after prostitutes.

    Proponents say the measure will free up $11 million the police spend each year arresting prostitutes and allow them to form collectives.

    "It will allow workers to organize for our rights and for our safety," said Patricia West, 22, who said she has been selling sex for about a year by placing ads on the Internet. She moved to San Francisco in May from Texas to work on Proposition K.

    Even in tolerant San Francisco, where the sadomasochism fair draws thousands of tourists and a pornographic video company is housed in a former armory, the measure faces an uphill battle, with much of the political establishment opposing it.

    Some form of prostitution is legal in two states. Brothels are allowed in rural counties in Nevada. And Rhode Island permits the sale of sex behind closed doors between consulting adults, but it prohibits street prostitution and brothels.

    In 2004, almost two-thirds of voters in nearby Berkeley rejected decriminalization. But proponents of Proposition K say their proposal has a better shot in San Francisco, which they believe is more sexually liberal than the city across the bay.

    After all, the world's oldest profession has long been established here. During the Gold Rush, the neighborhood closest to the piers was a seedy pleasure center of sex, gambling and drinking known as the Barbary Coast.

    These days, on certain corners, prostitutes sell their bodies day and night, ducking into doorways and alleys when police pass. One recent afternoon in the Mission District, six prostitutes were plying their trade on a single block.

    Police made 1,583 prostitution arrests in 2007 and expect to make a similar number this year. But the district attorney's office says most defendants are fined, placed in diversion programs or both. Fewer than 5 percent get prosecuted for solicitation, which is a misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail.

    Proposition K has been endorsed by the local Democratic Party. But the mayor, the district attorney, the police department and much of the business community oppose the idea. They contend that it would increase street prostitution, allow pimps the run of neighborhoods and hamper the fight against sex trafficking, which would remain illegal because it involves forcing people into the sex trade.

    The San Francisco Chronicle editorialized against the measure, saying it could make the city a magnet for prostitution.

    If the proposal passes, "we wouldn't be able to investigate prostitution, and it's going to be pretty difficult for us to locate these folks who are victims of trafficking otherwise," said Capt. Al Pardini, head of the police department's vice unit. "It's pretty rare that we get a call that says, 'I'm a victim of human trafficking' or 'I suspect human trafficking in my neighborhood.' "

    The proposition would also prohibit police from accepting federal or state funds for sex trafficking investigations that involve racial profiling. Such investigations often arise from raids on brothels that advertise as Asian massage parlors.

    "We feel that repressive policies don't help trafficking victims and that human rights-based approaches, including decriminalization, are actually more effective," said Carol Leigh, co-founder of the Bay Area Sex Workers Advocacy Network and a longtime advocate for prostitutes' rights.

    But San Francisco District Attorney Kamala Harris said the ballot question mistakenly assumes that prostitution is a victimless crime.

    "The crime of prostitution does not exist by itself," Harris said. "Along with it come pimps, johns and other crimes that really impact the safety of neighborhoods."

    If the measure passes, supporters say, prostitutes would not feel the need for pimps as protection. But opponents insist that it would embolden pimps who trap drug addicts into prostitution by plying them with drugs.

    "The proponents usually paint a fairly rosy picture of two consenting adults and a monetary exchange at the end," Pardini said. "They don't factor in the people that are being exploited and people that are being controlled, the ones manipulated both physically and chemically."
  • godgod
    edited October 2008
    http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5hKFxFsJlRPZHdcbJiKTU-lBLux1A
    Appeal opens in 54-million-dollar lost US pants case

    WASHINGTON (AFP) — An appeals court Wednesday began hearing a case brought by a former judge who is suing a drycleaners for 54 million dollars claiming they lost his pants.
    "A written opinion should be issued in two to four months" from three appellate judges, said Christopher Manning, attorney for Jin and Soo Chung, a South Korean immigrant couple that runs the drycleaning business.
    The Washington Court of Appeals heard the case Wednesday after former judge Roy Pearson last year lost the original case he brought against the couple in a lower court.
    Pearson says he received a pair of pants from Soo Chung in May 2005 that was not his. When he demanded Soo Chung pay him 1,000 dollars, the price of the entire suit, she refused, convinced the pants were indeed his.
    Pearson claims in his case that a sign reading "satisfaction guaranteed" on the shop's door is misleading and dishonest. He is demanding 1,500 dollars for each day the drycleaners put up the sign.
    "A reasonable person would not believe that a satisfaction guaranteed sign means what Mr. Pearson says it does," said Manning, adding Pearson believed the sign was "an unconditional, unlimited guarantee of satisfaction."
    Pearson, a lawyer who became an administrative judge around the time of the events, has since lost his judicial seat.
    If he loses his appeal, the case, which has dragged on for three and a half years, will be all but closed in light of the limited remaining options.
    Should he convince the appeals court judges, the case will be resubmitted to a county court for a new decision.
    Manning highlighted the tough times faced by his clients, who have had to close two of their three shops. "It has been a very difficult three and half years for them. They are ready to put this behind them," he said.
  • edited October 2008
    You know what? I want this to go to court, just so I can hear his rationalization for demanding 54 million for a pair of pants.
  • edited October 2008
    This is still going on? I read about this like a year ago. What a douche.
  • edited October 2008
    Takeru wrote: »
    You know what? I want this to go to court, just so I can hear his rationalization for demanding 54 million for a pair of pants.

    $1500 per day for the emotional trauma of knowing that damn sign was still hanging in the store.
  • edited October 2008
    Woman arrested for killing virtual reality husband
    TOKYO, Japan (AP) -- A 43-year-old Japanese woman whose sudden divorce in a virtual game world made her so angry that she killed her online husband's digital persona has been arrested on suspicion of hacking, police said Thursday.

    The woman, who is jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his identification and password to log onto popular interactive game "Maple Story" to carry out the virtual murder in mid-May, a police official in northern Sapporo said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

    "I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry," the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.

    The woman had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.

    She has not yet been formally charged, but if convicted could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000.

    Players in "Maple Story" raise and manipulate digital images called "avatars" that represent themselves, while engaging in relationships, social activities and fighting against monsters and other obstacles.

    The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married, and killed the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his beloved online avatar was dead.

    The woman was arrested Wednesday and was taken across the country, traveling 620 miles from her home in southern Miyazaki to be detained in Sapporo, where the man lives, the official said.

    The police official said he did not know if she was married in the real world.

    In recent years, virtual lives have had consequences in the real world. In August, a woman was charged in Delaware with plotting the real-life abduction of a boyfriend she met through "Second Life," another virtual interactive world.

    In Tokyo, police arrested a 16-year-old boy on charges of swindling virtual currency worth $360,000 in an interactive role playing game by manipulating another player's portfolio using a stolen ID and password.

    Virtual games are popular in Japan, and "Second Life" has drawn a fair number of Japanese participants. They rank third by nationality among users, after Americans and Brazilians.
  • edited October 2008
    I don't understand what she's being charged with. The article says she got his login information from the guy when they were fake married. Logging into someone elses account when they tell you their password is hardly hacking.
  • edited October 2008
    Behemoth wrote: »
    $1500 per day for the emotional trauma of knowing that damn sign was still hanging in the store.

    He's been suffering for 36000 days?
  • edited October 2008
    Another dispatch from my lovely hometown. I went to high school with this girl.

    Bartender accused of working nude
    ALTON - A second area woman within a month is facing a criminal charge after allegedly bartending bare naked, this time in Alton.

    Alton police charged Jamie E. Day, 24, of the 400 block of Brookshire in Jerseyville, with lewd entertainment following her arrest at 2:40 p.m. Friday at the Pub Room, 230 E. Broadway.

    Someone called police to complain about the woman, who "was observed totally nude while tending bar at the Pub Room," a brief Alton Police Department report says.

    Day reportedly had been performing for male customers and had donned a shirt by the time police arrived.

    The charge is a misdemeanor.

    Dene Sullivan, secretary to Alton Mayor Don Sandidge, said the mayor's office had not yet received paperwork on the charge in order to schedule a hearing on the Pub Room arrest. The mayor is the city's liquor commissioner and can determine whether the owner, August J. Sansone, is fined or the business' liquor license is suspended or revoked.

    In a similar situation on Sept. 18 in rural Jersey County, a 33-year-old bartender at The Cabin Inc. in Delhi was charged with public indecency. Deputies from the Jersey County Sheriff's Department had been performing a routine check of county taverns and allegedly discovered bartender Janet L. Brannon of East Alton working naked.

    The Jersey County Board's Liquor Committee subsequently suspended the tavern's liquor license for 30 days and fined its owner $500.

    The Pub Room has been the subject of several complaints of nudity in recent months and years.

    On Dec. 23, 2005, two scantily clad women employees and a female customer were charged with public indecency after allegedly showing their breasts.

    Someone called police to complain about "partially naked women" at the business. According to an Alton police report, one of the employees was wearing only a thin, black G-string and black boots; a second employee was working partially clothed in a transparent red, lingerie top, Santa Claus hat, thin G-string underwear, white high-heeled shoes, thigh-high stockings, and her top was open, exposing her breasts.

    The 21-year-old customer, a roommate of one of the employees at the time, had on a black transparent top pulled open to expose her breasts, a G-string and black boots.

    According to Madison County court records, none of the women filed pleas, all of them used attorney Steven Selby of Alton, and all three cases eventually were "nolle prosequi" (not prosecuted). Associate Judge Lewis Mallott closed all of them on Nov. 17, 2006.
  • edited October 2008
    Sometimes I stop and think to myself, "It's actually a crime to publicly expose certain parts of our bodies", and I realize just how fucked up that is. It is LEGALLY REQUIRED that you cover your genitals and breasts. That is totally fucked up and goes against the nature of existence.
  • edited October 2008
    Mooning is legal, for some reason. I don't see a difference between the two.
  • edited October 2008
    Or isn't fucked up in that some people would lose control of their hormones etc. and start raping people. Also the whole civilized and sentient thing would make everything really awkward.
  • edited October 2008
    Well there's the arguement that if people were raised in that kind of enviroment, then they wouldn't have that kind of problem.
  • edited October 2008
    It is LEGALLY REQUIRED that you cover your genitals and breasts.
    Fortunately, that's not the case everywhere, although I haven't seen many people around here exercising their right to bare, well, everything. Still, a few years back a court ruled that they could if they wanted to.
  • edited October 2008
    NoLonger wrote: »
    Or isn't fucked up in that some people would lose control of their hormones etc. and start raping people. Also the whole civilized and sentient thing would make everything really awkward.

    That line of thinking is part of the reason why fundamental Muslims require women to keep themselves covered, I think.

    And it's a dangerous line of thinking. It associates the worldview you grew up on as "civilized" and the product of being "sentient", relegating all other worldviews to the animalistic and primitive.

    And Blob is right, if people grew up in that society, it wouldn't be so big a deal. You're thinking within your own world too much.

    Can you give me a concrete reason why it should be ILLEGAL to expose yourself? DI is correct, just because it's not illegal doesn't mean people will walk around naked--clothing keeps us warm. But why take that choice away from people?
  • edited October 2008
    I wouldn't mind the ability to strip down a little more in the summer. I'd spend more money on sun block than if I were wearing clothes, of course.
  • edited October 2008
    I think everyone would enjoy letting Adam strip down a little more in the summer. Everyone wins, really.