Choose Your Own Adventure: The Advent of the Bear People

edited March 2010 in Games
(I've done plenty of these on other forums, and I think it's finally time to take this a deserving audience. I hope you enjoy this practice in... authorism.)

YOU wake up in a BED.

What do you do?
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Comments

  • edited August 2009
    Scratch myself.

    Edit: How are you going to compile this story? Will you just take one or two people's suggestions for each update, or will you work in everybody's posts (within reason)?
  • edited August 2009
    look_
    take any objects scattered around_
  • edited August 2009
    Look out the window.
  • godgod
    edited August 2009
    Pull the blankets over your head, it might still be morning.
  • edited August 2009
    >Take Bed
  • edited August 2009
    Check to see if it's my own bed.
  • edited August 2009
    *Why are "you" and "bed" colored. Are our options limited to those 2 items? Like will the subject always be blue and object red?*

    Get out of bed.
  • edited August 2009
    Jump on the bed.

    You're a grown-up, you own the bed, it's allowed now.
  • edited August 2009
    Serephel wrote: »
    Edit: How are you going to compile this story? Will you just take one or two people's suggestions for each update, or will you work in everybody's posts (within reason)?

    (I usually do the latter. I take as many suggestions as possible, and either ignore or ridicule entirely stupid ones. I also usually take the given suggestions and reorder them in order to make sense out of them.)
    Behemoth wrote: »
    *Why are "you" and "bed" colored. Are our options limited to those 2 items? Like will the subject always be blue and object red?*

    (They are colored because they hold significance of any sort.)
    god wrote: »
    Pull the blankets over your head, it might still be morning.

    Annoyed by the hustle and bustle of CITY LIVING, you simply cannot tolerate being conscious anymore. However, a spring from the MATTRESS is digging into your back, and going back to sleep would be impossible.
    Serephel wrote: »
    Scratch myself.

    With great FEROCITY, you scratch the point where the spring is poking you. The fervor of your scratching is simply unrivaled.
    take any objects scattered around_

    That would require getting out of BED.
    XoLore wrote: »
    Check to see if it's my own bed.

    It sure feels like it! You at least hope it you're own bed.
    Jump on the bed.

    You're a grown-up, you own the bed, it's allowed now.

    You very gaily jump on what you hope is your own bed. The joy you feel is incredulous, to say the least.
    Look out the window.

    While jumping, you manage to peek out of the window very high above your bed. The only way to look out of said window is by jumping on your bed. In retrospect, this was a terrible place to put a window.

    Outside the window, you can see the tops of large sky scrapers and blimps that read "NY Mets win the '69 World Series!" What the!?
    Behemoth wrote: »
    Get out of bed.

    You fall backwards, hitting the back of your head on a chrome coffee table. You are very sure that you have a concussion, however, you have successfully gotten out of bed.

    YOU GAINED 1 POINT!
    Takeru wrote: »
    >Take Bed

    That would never fit in your, um, "INVENTORY!"
    look_

    You survey the room with unbeatable use of your INQUISITION skill. This isn't your apartment! At least, it doesn't look the same as it used to...

    For some reason, all of your FURNISHINGS are covered in chrome. Etched into the side of your CHROME BED are the words "TIME BED." On your CHROME NIGHTSTAND is a CHROME LAMP, CHROME ALARM CLOCK and a CHROME PISTOL. The amount of chrome in your room is staggering. You might just call it CHROMETASTIC, that is, if you weren't freaking the fuck out right now.

    In the SOUTH WEST corner of your room is an open CHROME DOOR to your CHROME BATHROOM. In the NORTH EAST corner is the EXIT, which is also CHROME. In the SOUTH EAST corner is your closet, which you can only assume is undoubtedly CHROME.

    YOU have nothing equipped. And I mean nothing. Hey there, hot stuff.

    What do you do?
  • edited August 2009
    I wasn't expecting the INQUISITION skill.

    Take the pistol and open the closet.
  • edited August 2009
    Try to figure out the controls on the TIME BED. See where you are and how to might use it again to travel back and forth in time and have wacky shenanigans. If not now, at least at some point in the future if you need to make a quick escape.
  • edited August 2009
    Whatever you do, don't accidentally go back in time and have sex with your teenaged mother
  • edited August 2009
    Brew some CHROME COFFEE.
  • edited August 2009
    Search for CHROME CLOTHES
  • edited August 2009
    >Make sure you're not in a Trace Adkins video.
  • edited August 2009
    Outside the window, you can see the tops of large sky scrapers and blimps that read "NY Mets win the '69 World Series!" What the!?
    Hmmmmmmm......So you're in NY in the fall of '69? Put on some pants and go find a newspaper to confirm the date.
  • edited August 2009
    Fashion a crude CHROME TOGA out of CHROME BEDDING.

    Check current time on CHROME ALARM CLOCK, as well as the time to which the ALARM is set.
  • edited August 2009
    Wait, look at yourself. Are you human? Gnomish? Fire type?
  • edited August 2009
    Wait, look at yourself. Are you human? Gnomish? Fire type?

    You check your PROFILE PAGE inside your STATUSDEX.

    ????
    M
    HUMAN
    LEVEL 1 EXISTER

    Seems like a pretty basic PROFILE. No special stats or elemental affinities. You don't even have a name yet! Uh, what was your name again?
    Try to figure out the controls on the TIME BED. See where you are and how to might use it again to travel back and forth in time and have wacky shenanigans. If not now, at least at some point in the future if you need to make a quick escape.

    You INQUIRE about the TIME BED. It looks like a relatively normal bed. The words "TIME BED" appear to be scratched into the side with an INDISCRIMINATE SHARP OBJECT, which, if you truly are in another time, would have been scratched in recently. There don't appear to be any unusual levers or buttons. Perhaps you just have to... get into bed.
    Whatever you do, don't accidentally go back in time and have sex with your teenaged mother

    Can do!
    Brew some CHROME COFFEE.

    But there's no CHROME COFFEE MAKER!
    mario wrote: »
    Fashion a crude CHROME TOGA out of CHROME BEDDING.

    Check current time on CHROME ALARM CLOCK, as well as the time to which the ALARM is set.

    Your BEDDING appears to be made out of some kind of SILK, for Xtreme comfort. Not quite chrome, but still shiny nonetheless.

    The CHROME ALARM CLOCK reads "One Fifty Two O'Clock, Post Meridiem; October Twelth, Twenty Two Sixty Nine." Way to sleep in, you lazy fuck. You know that you usually keep your alarm set for Nine O'Clock. The SNOOZE BUTTON looks as though it was verily pushed.
    Take the pistol and open the closet.

    The PISTOL looks as though it was completely covered in chrome. The chrome actually covers all the essential functions of the gun. Aside from looking sick nasty, this gun is otherwise impossible to use. You stick up your, er, "INVENTORY" anyways.

    You open up the CLOSET DOOR, and come the realization that this closet is a CAVALCADE OF CHROME. There are some CHROME CRUTCHES, the special MONOPOLY: CHROME EDITION, and a BIG BLOCK OF CHROME. However, there is also a pair of EXTRA WEAK PURPLE POLYESTER PANTS and an I<3FNY T-SHIRT. This apparel is very very gaudy.
    Serephel wrote: »
    Search for CHROME CLOTHES

    Tough luck, toots.
    Takeru wrote: »
    >Make sure you're not in a Trace Adkins video.

    You're confident there are no cameras watching you, and even more confident that there are no videos in your honky tonk, uh, "INVENTORY."
    Behemoth wrote: »
    Hmmmmmmm......So you're in NY in the fall of '69? Put on some pants and go find a newspaper to confirm the date.

    Despite your FASHIONDEX giving those pants TWO THUMBS DOWN, you put on those stupid stupid pants anyways. Your EQUIPDEX auto-aligned all ELEMENTAL AFFINITY of your nether regions to POLYESTER.

    You exit the APARTMENT, and search for a NEWSPAPER STAND on FLOOR 22. No luck! Some exploration may be needed before you can auto travel to any NEWSPAPER STAND with your CARTOGRADEX.

    You are standing in a hallway. Sorry, a CHROME HALLWAY. Many CHROME APARTMENT DOORS line the CHROME WALLS of this CHROME APARTMENT COMPLEX. A CHROME ELEVATOR is at the NORTH end of the hallway. You are also shirtless.

    What do you do?
  • edited August 2009
    Knock on nearest neighbor's CHROME APARTMENT DOOR with CHROME PISTOL for added volume.
  • edited August 2009
    Scream and say someone just stole your shirt, then pretend to pass out and learn what you can. This way you can catch the future people off-guard if you need to escape.
  • edited August 2009
    Try to find a fish, chrome or not, to hit one of the doors with. Doors can't stand fish.
  • edited August 2009
    Go back inside and equip your I<3FNY T-SHIRT. No telling what sort of totalitarian state this is. You might get thrown into the Ministry of Lo... I mean, the jailhouse for going shirtless. Then go and attempt to operate the CHROME ELEVATOR.
  • edited August 2009
    Behemoth wrote: »
    Scream and say someone just stole your shirt, then pretend to pass out and learn what you can. This way you can catch the future people off-guard if you need to escape.

    You feign collapsing, but it doesn't seem like anyone is around to come to your aid. That, or nobody cares. You know how those FUTURE NEW YORKERS are. Oh, wait, maybe you don't.
    Go back inside and equip your I<3FNY T-SHIRT. No telling what sort of totalitarian state this is. You might get thrown into the Ministry of Lo... I mean, the jailhouse for going shirtless.

    You head back into YOUR ROOM and grab that campy ass t-shirt. Your SENSE OF FASHION has decreased dramatically, according to your SOCIALDEX, but your DECENCY is at an all time high for the day! A new record! You would sign your initials in the CYOA HIGH SCORE LEADERBOARDS, but you have yet to pick a name!
    Amoeba Boy wrote: »
    Try to find a fish, chrome or not, to hit one of the doors with. Doors can't stand fish.

    But you lack the necessary equipment for FISHING!
    mario wrote: »
    Knock on nearest neighbor's CHROME APARTMENT DOOR with CHROME PISTOL for added volume.

    You KNOCK with unmatched ferocity. The wrapping produced on your neighbor's chamber door is practically unheard of. There is no excuse for such apathy on your neighbor's part. After minutes of straight knocking, you eventually give up.
    Then go and attempt to operate the CHROME ELEVATOR.

    You head NORTH, and press the CHROME DOWN BUTTON for the CHROME ELEVATOR. Upon entering, you notice several buttons on the panel, not labeled by numbers. Instead, the instructions are simply UP, DOWN, and SIDE 2 SIDE. What the!? Elevators can only go up and down! You find this very preposterous. Nevertheless, you have several options for directions.

    What do you do?
  • edited August 2009
    Muttering to himself that no crazy futuristic elevator is going to get the better of RICHARD DECKARD, he punches the DOWN button, looking for a way out of the building.
  • edited August 2009
    Well, while we're in a crazy dystopian world, why not milk it for all it's worth? Confidently hit SIDE 2 SIDE and wait for the ride. Have a flashback to the TV Room and a glass ceiling.
  • edited August 2009
    The term "Elevator" suggests a device that simply elevates. This thing is clearly not simply an elevator. It's more of a structure bus or something. It needs a better, fancier name. Like "structibus".
    Look around the control panel for any small print that might contain a good name or word for this elevator-like construct.
  • edited August 2009
    but you have yet to pick a name!

    Hunt. Mike Hunt.
  • edited August 2009
    but you have yet to pick a name!
    Fizzlebottom. Clarence Fizzlebottom.
  • edited August 2009
    (Oh god, more names please. These are great.)