Ah, how could you forget your own name? You are now MEMPHIS, a very confused man living in the future. At least that's what you think is happening. At the same time, it could be your FRIENDS playing a practical joke on you. A very... elaborate joke. You highly anticipate a punchline.
The term "Elevator" suggests a device that simply elevates. This thing is clearly not simply an elevator. It's more of a structure bus or something. It needs a better, fancier name. Like "structibus".
Look around the control panel for any small print that might contain a good name or word for this elevator-like construct.
You INQUIRE like nobody's business. Searching the panel, you only find directions, which is odd, because usually these things work by numbers. There is also a STOP BUTTON. However, it's use doesn't seem for any specific emergencies. On the floor are several BOOKS. On the wall under the panel is an EMPTY BOOK RACK. Somebody was, quite clearly, not happy that the BOOKS were confined to a RACK, and they must have been liberated by their totalitarian RACK oppressors. Way to go, BOOKS! Viva la Revolucion!
Among the books was a CHROME COVER copy of THE LAST OF THE AVIANS by CLARENCE FIZZLEBOTTOM. There is also a copy of THE CATCHER IN THE RYE. Oddly, this is one of the few things in this entire complex that is not covered in CHROME. There's one more pamplet, titled HOW TO USE YOUR OMNIVATOR. You start reading.
"Thank you for purchasing the Borkco Omnivator Mk. 2. This model provides even more mobility, as the user can now travel in even more directions! Unfortunately, this model does not provide some of the features of our newer products, such as diagonal travel, time travel, and space travel, but we here at Borkco understand that convenience may have to be cut when a budget is involved. The quality of your Omnivator will still drive your tenants crazy with it's moderate convenience!"
Well, while we're in a crazy dystopian world, why not milk it for all it's worth? Confidently hit SIDE 2 SIDE and wait for the ride. Have a flashback to the TV Room and a glass ceiling.
With magnanimous CONFIDENCE you hit the SIDE 2 SIDE BUTTON. The OMNIVATOR shakes uncontrollably. After a few seconds, it stops shaking. Way to make another product that doesn't work, BORKCO.
SICK BURN! Your TOPICAL HUMOR has gained you +1 WIT.
Muttering to himself that no crazy futuristic elevator is going to get the better of RICHARD DECKARD, he punches the DOWN button, looking for a way out of the building.
You take the route most traveled, and decide to make this trip less exhausting then it already has been. You hit the DOWN BUTTON. The number of floors appears in a light above the panel. It continues to lower in number, 22... 21... 19... It doesn't seem to know when to stop. 15... 14... At this point, it seems as though it's simply going to crash into the ground. Naah, come on? People in the future wouldn't be that dumb, would they? 7... 6... You simply stand there, getting close to the bottom floor. It's almost there! Perhaps it'll just stop on the 1st floor and let you off? 2... 1... B1... Uh-oh. After a few seconds, the OMNIVATOR comes to a screeching halt. The light on the panel reds B3. The CHROME DOOR simply will not open. A little while later, it starts opening very slowly. You see a CHROME CROWBAR slip through the crack, as a very scruffy man finds you sitting in the fetal position in the corner.
"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THIS FUCKING THING, GODDAMMIT!?" he calmly tells you, with undeniable modesty and compassion in his voice.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" you scream at him.
You exit the BROKEN OMNIVATOR, and are now in the third floor basement. Low level MICE & COCKROACHES are visible. This would be a great place for a low leveled player like yourself to begin grinding! Still, much of this whole basement seems... unexplored.
It's hard to say what kind of threats are out in this strange world. It's time for some grinding, so it's best to start punching and kicking mice and cockroaches until one of them drops a weapon.
Ask the scruffy man if he has something spare such as a stick (or perhaps that crowbar if you're lucky) to battle these low-level threats with. A stick in particular would be handy as you may get the opportunity to craft a rat-flail.
THROTTLE the VERY SCRUFFY MAN with CHROME COVER copy of THE LAST OF THE AVIANS. No point wasting time with mice and roaches, this guy's your meal ticket to power leveling.
Remove your shirt (it's gaudy anyway), tie the unusable pistol to the end, and use the contraption as a makeshift flail until a better weapon is available.
Ask the scruffy man if he has something spare such as a stick (or perhaps that crowbar if you're lucky) to battle these low-level threats with. A stick in particular would be handy as you may get the opportunity to craft a rat-flail.
You roll your PATHETIC 4 SIDED-DIE for an INQUIRY CHECK.
It's hard to say what kind of threats are out in this strange world. It's time for some grinding, so it's best to start punching and kicking mice and cockroaches until one of them drops a weapon.
There's 1 MOUSE and 2 ROACHES in this location. It's time to get down!
You STEP ON LVL. 1 on one of the ROACHES. You roll for MARTIAL ARTS.
Catch one of the mice and force it to fight the cockroaches in your stead!
Your INQUISITION knows not species! You roll to convince a MOUSE to join your party.
4!
You name your new friend MICKEY in an ironic sense. He's not even black! In fact, you're fairly confident he's gray. He unleashes a fierce NIBBLE attack for 1 DAMAGE! The ROACH has been EXTERMINATED! His ROACH comrade avenges his brother with a COUNTER GNAW on MICKEY! 1 DAMAGE! "MICKEY! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Truly, he was the greatest MOUSE of his time.
Filled with great ANXIETY, your MARTIAL ARTS gets a 2x MULTIPLIER somehow! You roll for some RODENT REVENGE LVL. 2!
3x2=6!
The ROACH felt the brunt of your fury! It's carcass lays dead for all to witness!
You earned 1 EXP! You gained 1 LEVEL(S)! You earned the title LVL. 2 PESTICIDOR!
THROTTLE the VERY SCRUFFY MAN with CHROME COVER copy of THE LAST OF THE AVIANS. No point wasting time with mice and roaches, this guy's your meal ticket to power leveling.
You attempt to indulge in the STEALTH skill, and let the darkness be your only savior as you sneak up behind the man. You grab him from behind and put him in a SLEEPER HOLD. He elbows you in the side of the head and hits you in the side with his crowbar. 12 DAMAGE! He went easy on you, and kept you barely alive. He gives you a swig from his "HEALING" FLASK, and your health is back at max!
"I appreciate the excitement, but don't do it again. Not until you're ready to tango with the serpent." He hisses at you. Ah well, at least you got some good STEALTH training out of this!
Remove your shirt (it's gaudy anyway), tie the unusable pistol to the end, and use the contraption as a makeshift flail until a better weapon is available.
You strip once more, and feel much more liberated in the torso area. You CRAFT a brand new item, perfect for your need to hit things! At least it takes up one less slot in your, er, "INVENTORY." To take up even less space, you brandish it and place it in your RIGHT HAND equipment slot, according to your EQUIPDEX.
You are still standing in the middle of the basement. The rest of the directions remain unexplored. Maybe you should head towards one of them.
Pick up Micky's corpse so that you can give him a proper burial or, should the opportunity present itself, bring him back to life via. cybernetic implants and/or necromancy.
Comments
Ah, how could you forget your own name? You are now MEMPHIS, a very confused man living in the future. At least that's what you think is happening. At the same time, it could be your FRIENDS playing a practical joke on you. A very... elaborate joke. You highly anticipate a punchline.
You INQUIRE like nobody's business. Searching the panel, you only find directions, which is odd, because usually these things work by numbers. There is also a STOP BUTTON. However, it's use doesn't seem for any specific emergencies. On the floor are several BOOKS. On the wall under the panel is an EMPTY BOOK RACK. Somebody was, quite clearly, not happy that the BOOKS were confined to a RACK, and they must have been liberated by their totalitarian RACK oppressors. Way to go, BOOKS! Viva la Revolucion!
Among the books was a CHROME COVER copy of THE LAST OF THE AVIANS by CLARENCE FIZZLEBOTTOM. There is also a copy of THE CATCHER IN THE RYE. Oddly, this is one of the few things in this entire complex that is not covered in CHROME. There's one more pamplet, titled HOW TO USE YOUR OMNIVATOR. You start reading.
"Thank you for purchasing the Borkco Omnivator Mk. 2. This model provides even more mobility, as the user can now travel in even more directions! Unfortunately, this model does not provide some of the features of our newer products, such as diagonal travel, time travel, and space travel, but we here at Borkco understand that convenience may have to be cut when a budget is involved. The quality of your Omnivator will still drive your tenants crazy with it's moderate convenience!"
With magnanimous CONFIDENCE you hit the SIDE 2 SIDE BUTTON. The OMNIVATOR shakes uncontrollably. After a few seconds, it stops shaking. Way to make another product that doesn't work, BORKCO.
SICK BURN! Your TOPICAL HUMOR has gained you +1 WIT.
You take the route most traveled, and decide to make this trip less exhausting then it already has been. You hit the DOWN BUTTON. The number of floors appears in a light above the panel. It continues to lower in number, 22... 21... 19... It doesn't seem to know when to stop. 15... 14... At this point, it seems as though it's simply going to crash into the ground. Naah, come on? People in the future wouldn't be that dumb, would they? 7... 6... You simply stand there, getting close to the bottom floor. It's almost there! Perhaps it'll just stop on the 1st floor and let you off? 2... 1... B1... Uh-oh. After a few seconds, the OMNIVATOR comes to a screeching halt. The light on the panel reds B3. The CHROME DOOR simply will not open. A little while later, it starts opening very slowly. You see a CHROME CROWBAR slip through the crack, as a very scruffy man finds you sitting in the fetal position in the corner.
"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THIS FUCKING THING, GODDAMMIT!?" he calmly tells you, with undeniable modesty and compassion in his voice.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" you scream at him.
You exit the BROKEN OMNIVATOR, and are now in the third floor basement. Low level MICE & COCKROACHES are visible. This would be a great place for a low leveled player like yourself to begin grinding! Still, much of this whole basement seems... unexplored.
What do you do?
The potential of your INQUISITION is put to the test, as you engage in most incredible DISCUSSION.
"I'm just the JANITOR," he says.
"Well, can I have that CROWBAR?" you ask, "I could really use a weapon..."
"I think I've seen a few things scattered around here you can probably use weapons."
You roll your PATHETIC 4 SIDED-DIE for an INQUIRY CHECK.
2!
"Pretty please?"
"Nah."
"Damn."
There's 1 MOUSE and 2 ROACHES in this location. It's time to get down!
You STEP ON LVL. 1 on one of the ROACHES. You roll for MARTIAL ARTS.
1!
Your attack misses!
The ROACH GNAWS on your left toe! 1 DAMAGE!
Your INQUISITION knows not species! You roll to convince a MOUSE to join your party.
4!
You name your new friend MICKEY in an ironic sense. He's not even black! In fact, you're fairly confident he's gray. He unleashes a fierce NIBBLE attack for 1 DAMAGE! The ROACH has been EXTERMINATED! His ROACH comrade avenges his brother with a COUNTER GNAW on MICKEY! 1 DAMAGE! "MICKEY! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Truly, he was the greatest MOUSE of his time.
Filled with great ANXIETY, your MARTIAL ARTS gets a 2x MULTIPLIER somehow! You roll for some RODENT REVENGE LVL. 2!
3x2=6!
The ROACH felt the brunt of your fury! It's carcass lays dead for all to witness!
You earned 1 EXP! You gained 1 LEVEL(S)! You earned the title LVL. 2 PESTICIDOR!
+2 MARTIAL ARTS
+2 INQUISTION
+3 MAX HEALTH
You attempt to indulge in the STEALTH skill, and let the darkness be your only savior as you sneak up behind the man. You grab him from behind and put him in a SLEEPER HOLD. He elbows you in the side of the head and hits you in the side with his crowbar. 12 DAMAGE! He went easy on you, and kept you barely alive. He gives you a swig from his "HEALING" FLASK, and your health is back at max!
"I appreciate the excitement, but don't do it again. Not until you're ready to tango with the serpent." He hisses at you. Ah well, at least you got some good STEALTH training out of this!
You strip once more, and feel much more liberated in the torso area. You CRAFT a brand new item, perfect for your need to hit things! At least it takes up one less slot in your, er, "INVENTORY." To take up even less space, you brandish it and place it in your RIGHT HAND equipment slot, according to your EQUIPDEX.
You are still standing in the middle of the basement. The rest of the directions remain unexplored. Maybe you should head towards one of them.
What do you do?