Pick up Micky's corpse so that you can give him a proper burial or, should the opportunity present itself, bring him back to life via. cybernetic implants and/or necromancy.
You sow MICKEY'S CORPSE back up, somehow, and decide his organs are better left inside of him for now.
See how much your weapon increased your attack stat.
You open your EQUIPDEX to get a better handle on your equipment.
Head: NONE
Torso: NONE
Left Arm: NONE
Right Arm: IMPROVISED FLAIL (2 Damage, ARMAMENT)
Waist: NONE
Right & Left Legs: PURPLE POLYESTER PANTS (Slight POLYESTER Resistance, 2 Inventory Slots)
Feet: NONE
RNGT (Random Number Generator Type): PATHETIC 4 SIDED-DIE
You also check your STATISDEX, not to be confused with your STATUSDEX, to see what abilities you may have.
HIT POINTS: 14 MARTIAL ARTS: 2 INQUISITION: 2 WIT: 1 SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION: 3
It appears you didn't start with any special TRAITS, and that you gain TRAITS depending on which skills you have. Your SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION, too, appears to share the same number with your "BASIC INVENTORY." Not only that, but your new ARMAMENT doesn't get a boost from MARTIAL ARTS. Using equipped weapons must have it's own TRAIT.
You exit the INDEXDEX and find yourself holding a stupid flail, standing in the middle of an unexplored basement. What do you do?
Well, this basement may very well be used for storage purposes.... start checking all the rooms around you looking for treasure chests/boxes that might have useful stuff in them. It's time to start getting equipped for our big adventure!
Also.... it might be time to start thinking about stretching your... inventory. Find something large and cylindrical to do this. And some lube.
Well, this basement may very well be used for storage purposes.... start checking all the rooms around you looking for treasure chests/boxes that might have useful stuff in them. It's time to start getting equipped for our big adventure!
Also.... it might be time to start thinking about stretching your... inventory. Find something large and cylindrical to do this. And some lube.
You start off by heading EAST, finding a LOCKED DOOR to the BOILER ROOM. North of here, you can see something which may be used for some dynamic melee. Southbound, you see some cash.
You set your PURPLE POLYESTER PANTS to your INVENTORY TYPE. However, it contradicts your, er, "BASIC INVENTORY". You decide to hinder how much you can carry anyways, just for a slightly less embarrassing INVENTORY TYPE.
You've got quite a few directional choices. What do you do?
The boiler room may have things of value! Or else why would it be locked! Kick the door down! If that doesn't work, check Mickey's body again for a key.
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Indeed. You are honor-bound now. And since all the choices have already been made... I suggest grabbing the dynamic melee weapon and then kicking down the boiler room door, just in case an irate security guard confronts you.
Opportunities for melee ought to be common. Don't risk letting the cash opportunity pass you by. Southbound it is!
You rush hastily down SOUTH. You pick up a QUARTER of one DOLLAR exactly. Your WEALTHDEX now reads $0.25. It certainly took far too long for you to get over there.
Indeed. You are honor-bound now. And since all the choices have already been made... I suggest grabbing the dynamic melee weapon and then kicking down the boiler room door, just in case an irate security guard confronts you.
The WARRIOR SPIRIT of KAL'NE CRAW courses through your veins, and with great excitement, you head NORTH! You found DOUBLE WEAK WOODEN BASEBALL BAT (x1)! You wield your new weapon with the ferocity of at least ONE THOUSAND SUNS. Since this is a TWO HANDED WEAPON, it's impossible to DUAL-WIELD it with your IMPROVISED GUN FLAIL. You put your flail into your INVENTORY.
The boiler room may have things of value! Or else why would it be locked! Kick the door down! If that doesn't work, check Mickey's body again for a key.
You attempt to open the BOILER ROOM door. It's locked. You shout out "THIS IS NO PROBLEM MY FEET CAN'T SOLVE!"
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A strange voice is heard over the loud speaker. You didn't even realize there was a loud speaker!
"All men must earn their keep! Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? You must work to make your wages, so you can spend them on products of superior quality for favorable prices! Top brand TOP BRAND SHOES, SPORTS EQUIPMENT, and HIGH TECH ELECTRONICS, and FASHION ACCESSORIES for FAVORABLE PRICES. Remember, men, our services are considerate for your considerable service. Your Mother, Alice." What a sweet deal!
If not ominous.
NORTHWEST of where you stand is the door to the STAIRWELL, which seems to be your ticket out of here. Most of this basement, though, still seems unexplored.
Like any good adventurer, you must search EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY of EVERY SINGLE AREA before moving forward. You wouldn't want to miss a healing item or a status effect-causing item you'll never use, would you?
Comments
You dissect MICKEY'S CORPSE in search of loot. All you find are tiny ORGANS, which don't seem very good for transplant anymore.
You sow MICKEY'S CORPSE back up, somehow, and decide his organs are better left inside of him for now.
You stick the corpse waaaay up your "INVENTORY" for safe keeping.
You open your EQUIPDEX to get a better handle on your equipment.
Head: NONE
Torso: NONE
Left Arm: NONE
Right Arm: IMPROVISED FLAIL (2 Damage, ARMAMENT)
Waist: NONE
Right & Left Legs: PURPLE POLYESTER PANTS (Slight POLYESTER Resistance, 2 Inventory Slots)
Feet: NONE
RNGT (Random Number Generator Type): PATHETIC 4 SIDED-DIE
You also check your STATISDEX, not to be confused with your STATUSDEX, to see what abilities you may have.
HIT POINTS: 14
MARTIAL ARTS: 2
INQUISITION: 2
WIT: 1
SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION: 3
It appears you didn't start with any special TRAITS, and that you gain TRAITS depending on which skills you have. Your SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION, too, appears to share the same number with your "BASIC INVENTORY." Not only that, but your new ARMAMENT doesn't get a boost from MARTIAL ARTS. Using equipped weapons must have it's own TRAIT.
You exit the INDEXDEX and find yourself holding a stupid flail, standing in the middle of an unexplored basement. What do you do?
Also.... it might be time to start thinking about stretching your... inventory. Find something large and cylindrical to do this. And some lube.
That doesn't make any sense at all!
You start off by heading EAST, finding a LOCKED DOOR to the BOILER ROOM. North of here, you can see something which may be used for some dynamic melee. Southbound, you see some cash.
Me too!
You check your INVENDEX.
Current Inventory:
MICKEY'S CORPSE
Available Inventory Types:
BASIC INVENTORY (3 Slots, Set)
PURPLE POLYESTER PANTS (2 Slots)
You set your PURPLE POLYESTER PANTS to your INVENTORY TYPE. However, it contradicts your, er, "BASIC INVENTORY". You decide to hinder how much you can carry anyways, just for a slightly less embarrassing INVENTORY TYPE.
You've got quite a few directional choices. What do you do?
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You rush hastily down SOUTH. You pick up a QUARTER of one DOLLAR exactly. Your WEALTHDEX now reads $0.25. It certainly took far too long for you to get over there.
The WARRIOR SPIRIT of KAL'NE CRAW courses through your veins, and with great excitement, you head NORTH! You found DOUBLE WEAK WOODEN BASEBALL BAT (x1)! You wield your new weapon with the ferocity of at least ONE THOUSAND SUNS. Since this is a TWO HANDED WEAPON, it's impossible to DUAL-WIELD it with your IMPROVISED GUN FLAIL. You put your flail into your INVENTORY.
You attempt to open the BOILER ROOM door. It's locked. You shout out "THIS IS NO PROBLEM MY FEET CAN'T SOLVE!"
Upon KICKING the door, you soon realize that it is indeed a problem your feet cannot solve. 1 DAMAGE!
You're pretty sure you don't want to search through your former mouse's body a second time. You simply don't have the IRON STOMACH skill for that.
A strange voice is heard over the loud speaker. You didn't even realize there was a loud speaker!
"All men must earn their keep! Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? You must work to make your wages, so you can spend them on products of superior quality for favorable prices! Top brand TOP BRAND SHOES, SPORTS EQUIPMENT, and HIGH TECH ELECTRONICS, and FASHION ACCESSORIES for FAVORABLE PRICES. Remember, men, our services are considerate for your considerable service. Your Mother, Alice." What a sweet deal!
If not ominous.
NORTHWEST of where you stand is the door to the STAIRWELL, which seems to be your ticket out of here. Most of this basement, though, still seems unexplored.
What do you do?