Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

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Comments

  • edited June 2009
    Seriously, why is everyone dying? My mom says it's because we are entering the age of Aquarius. But she believes in reiki and chakras, so her opinion is not valid.
  • edited June 2009
    The Baby Boomers are getting into their 50s and 60s, and the people that the Baby Boomers made famous when they were younger are getting into their 70s, 80s and 90s.
  • edited June 2009
    These things happen in threes. I just can't believe Billy Mays is the third to Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.
  • edited June 2009
    You're forgetting Ed McMahon.
  • edited June 2009
    And David Carradine.
  • edited June 2009
    Yeah I believe it was just recently that the first Baby Boomer collected Social Security. maybe a year or so ago
  • edited June 2009
    The Baby Boomers are getting into their 50s and 60s, and the people that the Baby Boomers made famous when they were younger are getting into their 70s, 80s and 90s.
    Or someone got a hold of a Death Note and is killing off all the famous people.

    It could happen.
  • godgod
    edited June 2009
    You are not the first person I have heard suggest that.
  • edited June 2009
    Yes, because EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET HAS BEEN GAWD.

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    Kira.jpg
  • edited July 2009
    Pet python kills Florida toddler
    MIAMI (Reuters) - A Florida toddler was strangled on Wednesday by a 12-foot (3.6-meter) albino Burmese python that escaped from a holding tank in the girl's home, authorities said.

    The pet's owner, a boyfriend of the child's mother, found the python on top of the 2-year-old girl in the rural community of Oxford, about 50 miles northwest of Orlando.

    The python apparently broke free in the night, entered the girl's bedroom and attacked her.

    "This is very rare," Patricia Behnke of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission told reporters.

    The owner stabbed the snake when he found it on the child but she was dead when emergency crews arrived, the Orlando Sentinel newspaper said. It said he was being questioned and could face child endangerment charges.

    Wildlife officials are increasingly concerned about the proliferation of non-native pythons in Florida's wilderness areas.

    State officials say there may be as many as 150,000 Burmese pythons, which are native to Southeast Asia, living in the wild in the Everglades, where they have no natural predator.

    Wildlife experts say the population grew from snakes dumped in the fragile wetlands by pet owners who no longer wanted them and pose a significant threat to native species.

    The pythons can grow to more than 16 feet, live for 30 years and eat wading birds and small animals. Experts say snake enthusiasts buy them when they are small but cannot handle them when they grow to full size.

    Florida Senator Bill Nelson introduced a bill in the U.S. Congress in February to ban the importation and interstate trade of the reptiles.
  • edited July 2009
    How horrifying. Note to self: don't get a python if intending to ever have children.
  • edited July 2009
    I think you need a python if you intend to have children.
  • edited July 2009
    I'd say it's statistically more common that a pet dog would kill a child, but that's because so many more people own them.

    That said, owning huge snakes is a bad idea for everyone, including the snake.
  • edited July 2009
    Takeru wrote: »
    I think you need a python if you intend to have children.

    Of course, How else would you keep them in line?
  • edited July 2009
    I'm waiting for news of a child being killed by a pet rock.

    It would be the sort of news you wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry about.
  • edited July 2009
    Paleontology and Creationism Meet But Don't Mesh
    PETERSBURG, Ky. — Tamaki Sato was confused by the dinosaur exhibit. The placards described the various dinosaurs as originating from different geological periods — the stegosaurus from the Upper Jurassic, the heterodontosaurus from the Lower Jurassic, the velociraptor from the Upper Cretaceous — yet in each case, the date of demise was the same: around 2348 B.C.

    “I was just curious why,” said Dr. Sato, a professor of geology from Tokyo Gakugei University in Japan.

    For paleontologists like Dr. Sato, layers of bedrock represent an accumulation over hundreds of millions of years, and the Lower Jurassic is much older than the Upper Cretaceous.

    But here in the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky, Earth and the universe are just over 6,000 years old, created in six days by God. The museum preaches, “Same facts, different conclusions” and is unequivocal in viewing paleontological and geological data in light of a literal reading of the Bible.

    In the creationist interpretation, the layers were laid down in one event — the worldwide flood when God wiped the land clean except for the creatures on Noah’s ark — and these dinosaurs died in 2348 B.C., the year of the flood.

    “That’s one thing I learned,” Dr. Sato said.

    The worlds of academic paleontology and creationism rarely collide, but the former paid a visit to the latter last Wednesday. The University of Cincinnati was hosting the North American Paleontological Convention, where scientists presented their latest research at the frontiers of the ancient past. In a break from the lectures, about 70 of the attendees boarded school buses for a field trip to the Creation Museum, on the other side of the Ohio River.

    “I’m very curious and fascinated,” Stefan Bengtson, a professor of paleozoology at the Swedish Museum of Natural History, said before the visit, “because we have little of that kind of thing in Sweden.”

    Arnold I. Miller, a professor of geology at the University of Cincinnati and head of the meeting’s organizing committee, suggested the trip. “Too often, academics tend to ignore what’s going on around them,” Dr. Miller said. “I feel at least it would be valuable for my colleagues to become aware not only of how creationists are portraying their own message, but how they’re portraying the paleontological message and the evolutionary message.”

    Since the museum opened two years ago, 750,000 people have passed through its doors, but this was the first large group of paleontologists to drop by. The museum welcomed the atypical guests with the typical hospitality. “Praise God, we’re excited to have you here,” said Bonnie Mills, a guest service employee.

    The scientists received the group admission rate, which included lunch.

    Terry Mortenson, a lecturer and researcher for Answers in Genesis, the ministry that built and runs the Creation Museum, said he did not expect the visit to change many minds. “I’m sure for the most part they’ll be of a different view from what’s presented here,” Dr. Mortenson said. “We’ll just give the freedom to see what they want to see.”

    Near the entrance to the exhibits is an animatronic display that includes a girl feeding a carrot to a squirrel as two dinosaurs stand nearby, a stark departure from natural history museums that say the first humans lived 65 million years after the last dinosaurs.

    “I’m speechless,” said Derek E.G. Briggs, director of the Peabody Museum of Natural History at Yale, who walked around with crossed arms and a grimace. “It’s rather scary.”

    Dr. Mortenson and others at the museum say they look at the same rocks and fossils as the visiting scientists, but because of different starting assumptions they arrive at different answers. For example, they say the biblical flood set off huge turmoil inside the Earth that broke apart the continents and pushed them to their current locations, not that the continents have moved over a few billion years.

    “Everyone has presuppositions what they will consider, what questions they will ask,” said Dr. Mortenson, who holds a doctorate in the history of geology from Coventry University in England. “The very first two rooms of our museum talk about this issue of starting points and assumptions. We will very strongly contest an evolutionist position that they are letting facts speak for themselves.”

    The museum’s presentation appeals to visitors like Steven Leinberger and his wife, Deborah, who came with a group from the Church of the Lutheran Confession in Eau Claire, Wis. “This is what should be taught even in science,” Mr. Leinberger said.

    The museum founders placed it in the Cincinnati area because it is within a day’s drive of two-thirds of the United States population. The area has also long attracted paleontologists with some of the most fossil-laden rocks in North America, where it is easy along some roadsides to pick up fossils dated to be hundreds of millions of years old. The rocks are so well known that they are called the Cincinnatian Series, representing the stretch of time from 451 million to 443 million years ago.

    Many of the paleontologists thought the museum misrepresented and ridiculed them and their work and unfairly blamed them for the ills of society.

    “I think they should rename the museum — not the Creation Museum, but the Confusion Museum,” said Lisa E. Park, a professor of paleontology at the University of Akron.

    “Unfortunately, they do it knowingly,” Dr. Park said. “I was dismayed. As a Christian, I was dismayed.”

    Dr. Bengtson noted that to explain how the few species aboard the ark could have diversified to the multitude of animals alive today in only a few thousand years, the museum said simply, “God provided organisms with special tools to change rapidly.”

    “Thus in one sentence they admit that evolution is real,” Dr. Bengtson said, “and that they have to invoke magic to explain how it works.”


    But even some who disagree with the information and message concede that the museum has an obvious appeal. “I hate that it exists,” said Jason D. Rosenhouse, a mathematician at James Madison University in Virginia and a blogger on evolution issues, “but given that it exists, you can have a good time here. They put on a very good show if you can handle the suspension of disbelief.”

    By the end of the visit, among the dinosaurs, Dr. Briggs seemed amused. “I like the fact the dinosaurs were in the ark,” he said. (About 50 kinds of dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s ark, the museum explains, but later went extinct for unknown reasons.)

    The museum, he realized, probably changes few beliefs. “But you worry about the youngsters,” he said.

    Dr. Sato likened the museum to an amusement park. “I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed Disneyland,” she said.

    Did she enjoy Disneyland?

    “Not very much,” she said.
  • edited July 2009
    Did she enjoy Disneyland?

    “Not very much,” she said.

    ROFLMAO.

    Don't get me wrong, I understand the struggle to mesh faith with science, and I do my utmost to respect others. That said, this is a losing battle, and this Creationist Museum, in my opinion, is only making them look stupid.

    I mean, the ark animals used special God-given tools to diversify?? I thought we were doing a literal interpretation, here. I don't recall that from my Sunday School lessons.
  • edited July 2009
    And since for some reason I can't edit the post, I'll add here:

    Isn't tool use one of the defining traits of intelligence, in the sciences? How does that mesh with our God-given supremacy over the Earth?
  • godgod
    edited July 2009
    Creationists are pretty much writing biblical fanfics, aren't they?
  • edited July 2009
    Dr. Bengtson noted that to explain how the few species aboard the ark could have diversified to the multitude of animals alive today in only a few thousand years, the museum said simply, “God provided organisms with special tools to change rapidly.”

    Pardon me if I'm missing something, but isn't that known as EVOLUTION?
  • edited July 2009
    Dr. Bengtson noted that to explain how the few species aboard the ark could have diversified to the multitude of animals alive today in only a few thousand years, the museum said simply, “God provided organisms with special tools to change rapidly.”

    “Thus in one sentence they admit that evolution is real,” Dr. Bengtson said, “and that they have to invoke magic to explain how it works.”

    If only you had read the sentence just after the one you quoted! But don't worry, I do that too: skip every other sentence in the text I'm reading.
  • edited July 2009
    Well, at least humans have at most a century left. A couple living brains in space, maybe. But true humans? I just don't see them getting their shit together fast enough.
  • edited July 2009
    Ok I COULD NOT pass this one up


    World Of Warcraft Player Claims A Bounty On His Head In And Out Of Video Game

    Mexico City, Mexico-(MH)-Mexican World of Warcraft player Bronco Carson
    reported to local police on Saturday that 3 men broke into his home and beat his
    arms with clubs and smashed his computer. It was supposedly in retaliation for
    Carson stalking and repeatedly killing one of the attackers wife’s character
    during computer video game play.

    Carson admitted to police that he had been “making it hard for her to get far in
    the game.” He said that after repeated online threats from the woman, she sent
    her husband and friends over to his house to “take care of him.” Carson later
    said that he had made the mistake of telling her where he lived and “if her
    husband was man enough to just come meet me to settle this.”

    2 weeks leading up to the assault he said he had been harassed by a few
    characters constantly during game play. “I knew that I might be messed with in
    the game but I didn’t really expect her husband to come looking for me. I couldn’t
    have been more wrong.”

    Carson suffered 2 broken fingers and a fractured wrist during the assault. They
    also destroyed his computer and entertainment center before leaving. No arrests
    have been made in connection with the assault.

    ahaha...AHAHHAAH...ahahhhhhhh
  • edited July 2009
    Isn't that like every player's dream in PvP servers? God only knows how many times I've wanted to go find what pimply faced 120 pound lev. 70 cockfuck was repeatedly ganking me and camping my body, and then go beat the shit out of him in real life.

    I was greatly satisfied reading this article.
  • edited July 2009
    Serephel wrote: »
    Isn't that like every player's dream in PvP servers? God only knows how many times I've wanted to go find what pimply faced 120 pound lev. 70 cockfuck was repeatedly ganking me and camping my body, and then go beat the shit out of him in real life.

    I was greatly satisfied reading this article.

    You're very welcome.

    Sorry to play devil's advocate but I love sitting on someone's virtual face until they break their keyboards in half, I just don't tell them where I live. Sure as hell beats dealing with 24 retards for like 5 hours.
  • edited July 2009
    This is why I play my multiplayer RPGs in a LAN environment.
  • edited July 2009
    No you don't! And if you did, it certainly wouldn't be to kick ass, take names, and chew bubblegum and then have an insufficient supply of bubblegum.
  • edited July 2009
    This is one of the reasons I love Guild Wars. If you're doing the story, the zones are all instanced, and you can take AI henchmen or heroes to fill out your party.

    Seriously stupid to give out real info like that.
  • edited July 2009
    Girl Suspended for Videotaping Unruly Class
    CONCORD — Allison Moore says she and her 15-year-old daughter complained for months about the chaotic environment in a Clayton Valley High School math class.

    "The students weren't behaving," Moore said of the third period Introduction to Algebra class. "The teacher couldn't control the students. They were making a ruckus everyday, making it difficult to learn."

    The ninth-grade students threw things around the room. Shortly after Christmas, students told the Times, someone exploded Play-Doh in the microwave, resulting in a smoke-filled classroom that teacher Michael Huang refused to air out. In other classes Huang taught, they said, students lit trash can fires and smoked cigarettes or even marijuana.

    Moore said she told administrators about the problems in February, but added little seemed to change.

    Her daughter and classmates, who have asked to remain anonymous for fear of campus retaliation, said Huang tried coaxing students by offering extra credit if they would raise their hands and say "thank you." His Taiwanese accent was difficult to understand and he often sat at his computer instead of teaching, they said.

    Huang also yelled at them and ridiculed them in front of the class, they said.

    By May 15, with less than a month left in the school year, the classroom atmosphere had not improved, Moore said. That morning, when students flicked the lights on and off and began a paper ball fight with no intervention by their teacher, Moore's daughter caught the chaos on video with her cell phone.

    A friend of Moore's anonymously sent the video to Dick Nicoll, interim superintendent of the Mt. Diablo school district. The following week, the school suspended Moore's daughter for two days after she admitted she had taped the class without permission, a violation of the state Education Code.

    Five other students were suspended for participating in the paper-ball fight, but three also shown throwing paper were not disciplined, according to Moore. When Moore received her daughter's suspension notice in the mail the following week, she was surprised that it said her daughter had defied school authority and participated in "a major paper throwing at the teacher and other students."

    Moore appealed the suspension, arguing her daughter did not participate in the classroom disruption and should be excepted from the video rule because she was trying to expose what was going on.

    "Of course she could not get the teacher's permission," Moore wrote in her appeal. "It was for the purpose of blowing the whistle on the teacher! The school has failed the students and the students should NOT have to suffer the consequences."

    She wrote an apology letter and had the suspension lifted.
  • edited July 2009
    Horror as taxi driver decapitates himself outside cafe
    A taxi driver decapitated himself after tying a rope around his neck and a post before driving off at high speed.

    The incident took place just metres from a 24-hour cafe.

    The man, believed to be in his thirties, is said to have then driven off at full speed in the early hours of this morning, aiming straight at a pillar.

    His head was found yards from his taxi in Great Suffolk Street in Southwark, London.

    A cab driver, who preferred to remain anonymous, said: 'One of the drivers was at the scene just afterwards.

    'He saw the cab all smashed up against the pillar, with the driver’s body still inside the vehicle.

    'He then saw the head lying on the side of the road next to some rope. It is horrific.'

    The death happened shortly after midnight at a disused petrol station yards from a 24-hour cafe used by black-cab drivers.

    The witness added: 'The driver who arrived at the scene just afterwards alerted the police and ambulance service.

    'Some people from the flats nearby also came running out of their homes when they heard the crash.'

    Scotland Yard said the death was not being treated as suspicious but it was investigating.

    Ambulance services attended at 12.40am and the man was pronounced dead at the scene.

    Police were trying to trace the driver’s next of kin today. They were also trying to establish if the dead man was a genuine black-cab driver.