Wow, are high-tech eyelashes really the new frontier in cosmetic engineering? Or, more imporantly, are perfect eyelashes really that damned important? And here I was thinking that people gave more of a crap about stuff like being as big as a house, or having lots of big moles and warts in places where moles and warts just shouldn't be. And oh yeah, horrible scarring acne. I guess I could be wrong, though. Maybe eyelashes are super important.
Well damn, I never thought of it that way. Hmm, maybe eyelashes could be genetically engineered to do other useful things, like fighting bacteria and doing my taxes.
One day, while walking past a cosmetic surgery hospital, Jane Kirshman tripped on a discarded hot dog. While stumbling into the hospital, she fell into the eyelash extension room, $3000 and 3 hours later she became The EyeLasher! Devoted to fighting crime using the powers of her slightly longer eyelashes, such as...um... maybe like...entangling criminals?
Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon.
Researchers at NEC System technologies and Mie University have designed the cute little guy to the right: a metal man gastronomist, "an electromechanical sommelier", capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d'oeuvres. Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses...like "tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was."
But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.
Absolutely horrifying. Like cows, once robots taste blood, their hunger for human flesh can never be satiated.
no. Both are lies. People say that about bears, but that hasn't been proven either. They do however, consider anything they've eaten to be part of their potential food. So if a bear eats a human, then he won't turn one down in the future, but he doesn't go after humans exclusively.
Comments
Most of them are chewy and delicious.
A box of Trix cereal has yet to comment on his unfortunate loss.
EDIT: Aww crap, Hamelin beat me to this on the other news thread. Still, gross.
She wasn't looking the right way. Dumb reporter, ruining my skit.
Coming 2008.
It's pretty fun.
Also good news for cannibals I suppose.
WTF?!?! Is it true that once cows taste blood, they desire human flesh? WOAH SHIT!
Eh...considoring I was born 6 years after that, no.