Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

12021232526106

Comments

  • edited October 2006
    FINE, I'll wrestle up some fucked up news.

    Professor Admits He Was Wrong To Discipline His Child With Ants
    JACKSON, Miss. -- The attorney for an Alcorn State University professor said his client admitted he was wrong to discipline his child with ants.
    On Tuesday, professor Festus Oguhebe pleaded no contest to one count of felony child abuse for putting ants on his child.
    Last year, he was charged with five counts of felony child abuse. The charges involved his children, ages 7 to 15.
    Oguhebe's attorney, Robert Smith, said that in exchange for a no-contest plea, the other four counts were dropped.
    "He believes in academic excellence. This stems from a bad report from school his child obtained, and he was concerned about that," said Smith.
    A sentencing date has not been set.
    Smith said the children are with Oguhebe's ex-wife.
    Alcorn State said that no decision has been made on the professor's future at the university.

    Judge Rules Indecent Exposure Is for Men Only
    A Riverside judge dismissed an indecent exposure charge against a woman accused of disrobing in front of a 14-year-old boy, saying the law only applies to men.

    Superior Court Judge Robert W. Armstrong said earlier in the week that the law only mentions someone who "exposes his person."

    "It's gender specific," Armstrong said.

    He dismissed a misdemeanor charge against Alexis Luz Garcia, 40, of Corona, who was cited in May after parents of a neighbor boy said she showed him full-frontal nudity as he played basketball.

    Prosecutor Alison N. Norton said the decision to throw out the case will be appealed because another section of state law says that "words used in the masculine gender include the feminine and neuter."

    Norton said Garcia had complained that the 14-year-old was making too much noise while playing basketball. She went out on her sundeck.

    "He looked up at her, she looked down at him, and she disrobed," Norton contended.

    The boy ran inside and told his parents, who complained to Garcia.

    "She threatened to do it every time he played basketball," and the parents called police, Norton said.
  • edited October 2006
    I'll have to play basketball more often!

    Basketball-for that woman who you really want to seduce.
  • edited October 2006
    Good luck with that. Maybe it'll work if you're a 14-year-old boy looking for a 40-year-old woman.
  • edited October 2006
    No, it's not gender specific, that is a misinterpretation of the law.

    Assuming that the law is written in absolute perfect grammar (which it should be), whenever one is to use a pronoun referring ambiguously to either a male or female, the masculine "he" is to be used.

    However, it's a rule so seldom enforced, most don't seem to really know or understand it.

    Edit: Unless the focus of the decision was on "person" instead of "his," then I have no rebuttal.
  • edited October 2006
    I just have to say, that is bollocks, that judge is clearly an idiot, as anyone revealing themselves in public, man or woman, isn't right. Especially in front of a minor!
  • edited October 2006
    I think it's funny that she's doing it as a deterant. She can't be much of a looker if exposing herself scares off a 14-year-old boy.
  • edited October 2006
    Eyelash transplants all the rage.
    Under the procedure, a small incision is made at the back of the scalp to remove 30 or 40 hair follicles which are carefully sewn one by one onto the patient's eyelids. Only light sedation and local anesthetics are used and the cost is around $3,000 an eye.
    The surgery is not for everyone. The transplanted eyelashes grow just like head hair and need to be trimmed regularly and sometimes curled.
    Gross!
  • edited October 2006
    That...I'm at a loss for words...
  • edited October 2006
    Tesco condemned for selling pole dancing toy
    Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

    The Tesco Direct site advertises the kit with the words, "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

    "Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars".

    The £49.97 kit comprises a chrome pole extendible to 8ft 6ins, a 'sexy dance garter' and a DVD demonstrating suggestive dance moves.

    The kit, condemned as 'extremely dangerous' by family campaigners yesterday, was discovered by mother of two Karen Gallimore who was searching for Christmas gifts for her two daughters, Laura 10, and Sarah, 11.

    Mrs Gallimore, 33, of Ellesmere Port, Cheshire, said yesterday: "I'm no prude, but any children can go on there and see it. It's just not on."

    Dr Adrian Rogers, of family campaigning group Family Focus said yesterday that the kit would "destroy children's lives".

    He said: "Tesco is Britain's number one chain, this is extremely dangerous. It is an open invitation to turn the youngest children on to sexual behaviour.

    "This will be sold to four, five and six-year olds. This is a most dangerous toy that will contribute towards destroying children's innocence."

    He added: "Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol.

    "It ought to be stopped, it really requires the intervention of members of Parliament. This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children."

    Tesco today agreed to remove the product from the Toy section of the site, but said it will remain on sale as a Fitness Accessory, despite the fact that the product description invites users to "unleash the sex kitten inside".

    Also on sale on the Tesco website is a strip poker game, "Peekaboo Poker" which is illustrated by a picture of a reclining woman in underwear.

    The card game is is described as a game that "risks the risque and brings a whole lot of naughtiness to the table.

    "Played with a unique pack of Peekaboo Boy and Girl playing cards, the aim of the game is to win as many Peekaboo chips as possible and turn them into outrageously naughty fun."

    The pole dance kit is the latest item to fuel allegations that major retailers increasingly sell products which "sexualise" young children such as T-shirts with suggestive messages.

    In recent years Asda was forced to remove from sale pink and black lace lingerie, including a push-up bra to girls as young as nine.

    Next had to remove t-shirts on sale for girls as young as six with the slogan "so many boys, so little time."

    And BHS and others came under fire for selling padded bras embellished with a "Little Miss Naughty" logo and t-shirts with a Playboy-style bunny that said "I love boys...They are stupid."

    Tesco last night denied the pole dancing kit was sexually oriented and said it was clearly marked for "adult use".

    A spokesman added: "Pole dancing is an increasing exercise craze. This item is for people who want to improve their fitness and have fun at the same time."
  • edited October 2006
    They should re-relese it as "The Single Mom's Training Kit."
  • edited October 2006
    "This will be sold to four, five and six-year olds. This is a most dangerous toy that will contribute towards destroying children's innocence."

    OK, so the dance pole should not be marketed in the toys section. But who would seriously buy this for their kindergarten-aged kids?
  • edited October 2006
    I've seen a "humping dog" once. Although not in the kids section and clearly labeled: Adults Only, it was pretty damn disturbing. I can see it now:
    "I'm horny, but I don't have a wife"
    "I know! I'll buy a hooker!!"
    " 20...21...22. Dammit!! Not enough!! Guess I'll get a fake humping dog."

    Ah, yes. So sad.
  • edited October 2006
    Stef wrote: »
    OK, so the dance pole should not be marketed in the toys section. But who would seriously buy this for their kindergarten-aged kids?

    I'm going to elaborate off of Stef's comment. I think if parents are actually going to buy this for their children, then they're not too concerned with or aware of their children's innocence. If anything, they should sell the toy and subsequently use sales records to track down unfit parents. Course, that's a little illegal...

    Besides, would kids even fully understand a dancer's pole? How it's properly used? What its purpose is? I don't think they would.
  • edited October 2006
    Those are meant as jokes, I bought one, you hang them off stuff (like desks or your legs), and when you walk past them, they start humping. Quite amusing.

    EDIT: Serephel, That sort of stuff doesn't ALWAYS mess the kids up, I've seen a lot of 18 rated films when I was only 7, so its not always the case. But still, a guy getting his head ripped off and erotic dancing are two different things.
  • edited October 2006
    I don't think that the pole personally will mess kids up. However, if a parent is willing to buy a dancer's pole for their kids, I'm fairly certain they're not pretty good parents in the first place.
  • edited October 2006
    Ah yes, but it might be in the toy aisle, and they get it because it looks good.

    "Oh mummy! What did you get me? ... A pole?...gee..Thanks mummy..."
  • edited October 2006
    Boy stabs (and kills) twin brother over pack of gum.
    For want of a piece of gum, one Maury County 14-year-old allegedly lashed out at his twin brother with a steak knife.

    Less than 24 hours later, one brother's body was at the morgue being autopsied, while the other brother was standing before a judge, charged with first-degree murder.

    "He's remorseful," said Detective Terry Dial of the Maury County Sheriff's Department, speaking of the 14-year-old who allegedly stabbed his non-identical twin in the upper left chest Tuesday after school.

    Dial, court clerks and school officials all declined to identify the boy in custody, despite a state law that makes public the identities of juveniles 14 and older who are charged with the most serious violent crimes.

    However, Dial confirmed that the victim's name was Blake Basler of a Pulaski Highway address.

    According to Dial, the teen who died got home from school shortly after 3 p.m. His unidentified twin brother had stayed home because of illness.

    "They got into it over a pack of chewing gun. A fight erupted, and a knife was picked up. There was one stab wound,'' the investigator said.

    The boys' mother, who was elsewhere in the home, called 911 and performed CPR on her son until authorities arrived. Dial said the victim was still alive when the ambulance arrived at Maury Regional Hospital in Columbia.

    "He died at the hospital. They probably worked on him an hour and 30 minutes, no luck," Dial said.

    The brothers were eighth-graders at Culleoka School, a kindergarten-through-12th grade school with an enrollment of about 1,000 students.

    "Both of the boys were well liked," Principal Jeff Quirk said.

    "It's a tragedy. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family because it's basically two tragedies for that family. We want to make sure the family is supported and to support our students at the school."

    On Wednesday, guidance counselors from Culleoka and several other county schools were on hand to help console students.

    "We made it fairly well. We made time for the kids to be with one another," Quirk said.

    The principal said the twins had been students at Culleoka for several years.

    Dial said school officials told him that the brothers presented "no major problems" concerning disciplinary actions at school. He said the family reported that the boys did not have a history of serious fights between the two.

    "Just normal brothers fighting is what they said,'' Dial said.

    Also in the family are a half-brother and half-sister, but they were not at home at the time of the incident, he said. The detective said he did not know if the other siblings were older or younger than the teen boys.

    A trial date has been set for Nov. 16 in Maury County Juvenile Court by General Sessions Judge J. Lee Bailey III. However, Dial said District Attorney General Mike Bottoms would decide whether to hold a hearing on whether to transfer the case to adult court. Bottoms could not be reached for comment.

    Meanwhile, the incarcerated teen has been transferred to a unnamed facility for a mental evaluation.
    COME ON. Thirty cents. Geez.
  • edited October 2006
    It might have been VERY good gum!
  • edited October 2006
    I'll bet there were video games involved. There are always video games involved in all acts of violence these days.

    (At first I was going to comment on how good that gum must have been, but Night Lord beat me to it)
  • edited October 2006
    SSSH SEREPHEL!

    Jack Thompson has internet scanbots which search for the terms "Video game(s)" and "violence", if it finds them in the same sentence, he swoops!
  • edited October 2006
    Jack Thompson can't use the internets. If he could, surely, he'd have used it to gain information about games before condemning them.
  • edited October 2006
    Exactly! He uses his scanbots to search the net for him! Then without any form of research, he swoops!

    He's a mad man!
  • godgod
    edited October 2006
    No, he's just an idiot.
  • edited October 2006
    There's a difference between unbiased, educated research, and having a preset conclusion before finding research to support said conclusion. For more informatoin, see Jack Thompson and video games,the EPA and WHO and the effects of second hand smoke, and Creation/Christian Scientists.
  • edited October 2006
    The gum could have been Bubbleisious Burst! It's great for parties, having fun, and even helping dad around the house! Just ask Lebron James!

    *Note:Bubbleisious burst gum is for blowing bubbles and nothing else. So why we just duped about 100 dumbasses into thinking it was actually multi-purpose, well, I'm not sure.
  • edited October 2006
    Well, I imagine that it wasn't only the gum. It probably started over the gum, but then some insults, and punches and injuries and whatnots were thrown around, until one of them lost it and grabbed the knife.
  • edited October 2006
    Area man charged with bestiality
    A 44-year-old Saginaw man remains jailed today on charges of bestiality after he was seen engaged in sexual acts with a dead dog, Michigan State Police troopers said.

    Ronald Kuch was arrested after police searched the area of Midland and Carter roads Friday for a man who ran away from a Bay County Animal Control officer. The entire incident was within view of a nearby day care center.

    At his arraignment on Monday, Kuch demanded a preliminary examination in Bay County District Court. District Judge Craig Alston ordered him to remain jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond pending a hearing on the evidence Nov. 6.

    Kuch is charged with crimes against nature and assaulting a law enforcement officer.

    Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier.

    Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off.

    State troopers searched the area and found the man hiding in the attic of a nearby house.

    Officers determined that the house belonged to the man's girlfriend and later learned that the dog, a black Labrador retriever, also belonged to the girlfriend. The dog had been dead for four or five days.

    The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.

    Dad put fæces on son's face: court
    An angry father rubbed his three-year-old son's face in his own faeces after a toilet accident, a Brisbane court has been told.

    The 25-year-old labourer, who cannot be named, pleaded guilty in the Brisbane District Court to one count each of common assault and assault causing bodily harm on March 1 this year.

    Judge Debra Richards sentenced him to three years probation, and ordered him to perform 240 hours community service.

    Prosecutor Carolyn McAnally told the court the boy, who lived with his family at Ipswich, west of Brisbane, was found by a neighbour wandering down the street, crying and calling for his mother.

    When she took the smelly boy inside he told her how it was not dirt, but "poo" on his face, because his father had rubbed his mouth and nose in it.

    When his father came looking for him, the terrified child cowered inside, and refused to go with him.

    The father again lost his temper when he discovered the neighbour had given the boy soft drink and chips to eat.

    He had been looking after his son for the day, because he had been sent home from his daycare centre, and his mother was on a course, the court heard.

    In an interview with police, the man said the boy had excreted on the floor and he had told him to clean it up.

    He then walked away because he had a weak stomach, and couldn't stand the smell.

    When he returned he became angry because the boy was playing with the faeces.

    He pushed the boy's face in them and then lifted him up by the neck and threw him into the backyard, from where he eventually wandered off.

    Judge Richards admonished the man and told him he obviously needed to complete a parenting program.

    "I am speechless to think a parent could do this to a child," she said.

    "And you don't tell a three-year-old to clean it up; I don't care if you've got a weak stomach."

    She said he would be required to complete a parenting program, an anger management course, a cognitive skills program and have a psychiatric assessment as part of the probation order.

    The man has since left the family home to live in Capalaba in Brisbane and has had no further contact with the boy.
  • edited October 2006
    crimes against nature
    Ugh, and it was DEAD.
  • edited October 2006
    When he returned he became angry because the boy was playing with the faeces.

    Maybe he read too much Dr.Slump, in which the main character's main obbsession is poop-poking!

    169449090_3c26b7f9c4_m.jpg
  • edited October 2006
    MY sweet christ...

    That man should not be allowed kids at all, I mean someone who does that isn't just a bad parent, they're a nut!