Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

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  • edited September 2007
    Seriously guys, that stale humor-less internet meme is so five minutes ago.
  • edited September 2007
    Woman accused of setting fire over keys
    FLORENCE, Ore. --
    A woman was arrested and charged with arson and burglary after police say she set fire to the home of a neighbor she thought had stolen her keys.

    Sgt. Clint Riley of the Lane County Sheriff's Office said the 23-year-old woman later found her keys hanging from her pants pocket.

    The woman was being held in the Lane County Jail in lieu of $350,000 bail.

    According to a police report, the woman told a deputy that after discovering her keys missing, she broke into her neighbors' trailer, and began trashing the place.

    After going home to fetch lighter fluid and cooking oil, she returned to the neighbors' place and tried to start a fire by spraying lighter fluid on a hot stove burner, according to the report.

    When that didn't work, she allegedly placed the oil and a stuffed animal on the stove, according to the report.

    She called 9-1-1 and hid in a bush across the street while deputies and firefighters responded, Riley said.

    The woman's boyfriend said a friend called him at work and he rushed home to find her hiding in the bushes, barefoot and incoherent, according to the report.

    The woman told her boyfriend her keys were missing, at which time he pointed to a set of keys hanging from her pants pocket and "she began to cry," Riley said.

    A damage estimate was not immediately available.
  • edited September 2007
    the 23-year-old woman later found her keys hanging from her pants pocket.
    What is she, deaf?
  • edited September 2007
    Okaaaaay. Someone has problems.
  • edited September 2007
    If there was ever some news that fit this thread perfectly, that was it.
  • edited September 2007
    Man, let's hear it for thinking through one's actions.
  • edited September 2007
    Just goes to show blond moments are not to be taken lightly!
  • edited September 2007
    That's why we should all live in small huts in the mountains, far away from everyone else.
  • edited September 2007
    Israeli 'neo-Nazi gang' arrested
    Israeli police say they have broken up a gang of neo-Nazis who are accused of carrying out attacks on foreigners, gay people and religious Jews.

    The eight suspects, aged 16-21, are all Israeli citizens from the former Soviet Union. They were arrested a month ago, but the news only emerged on Saturday.

    Police say searches of their homes yielded Nazi uniforms, portraits of Adolf Hitler, knives, guns and TNT.

    Israel was founded in the wake of the Nazi Holocaust in which millions died.

    The arrests follow a year-long inquiry which began after a synagogue in Petah Tikva, a city east of Tel Aviv, was desecrated with graffiti of Nazi swastikas and the name of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler.

    Prime Minister Ehud Olmert expressed his horror at what he called "violence for the sake of violence."

    "I am sure that there is not a person in Israel who can remain indifferent to these scenes, which indicate that we too as a society have failed in the education of these youths," he said.

    The eight accused, who include the group's alleged leader, are all from Petah Tikva.

    The gang members sported tattoos popular with white supremacists - including the number 88, code for Heil Hitler because "H" is the eighth letter of the alphabet.

    "We believe that this is the main gang working in the area... the main gang that exists [in Israel] that attempts to use Hitler's ideology," police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld told AFP news agency.

    Police say the gang members would target homosexuals, Jews who wore a skull cap and drug addicts, often video taping their attacks.

    "It is difficult to believe that Nazi ideology sympathisers can exist in Israel, but it is a fact," Revital Almog, the police official who led the investigation, told Israeli public radio.

    The suspects have admitted assaulting a number of people in Tel Aviv, most of them foreign workers.

    Ms Almog said the gang would pick on someone who appeared unable to defend themselves and then attack.

    They often filmed or photographed the violence.

    Footage of the attacks show people lying on the ground whilst being kicked by more than one assailant.

    In one clip a man is hit around the back of the head with a bottle.

    According to the Israeli daily newspaper Haaretz one video shows gang members surrounding a Russian drug addict as he admits to being a Jew. The youths then order him onto his knees to beg for forgiveness for being Jewish and a drug addict before viciously beating not only him, but also another man who tries to intervene.

    The suspects all migrated to Israel under the Law of Return which allows anyone with at least one Jewish grandparent to become a citizen.

    Ms Almog said of the accused, "their connection to Judaism is distant, through grandparents or distant family connections".

    Man charged with having sex with boss's dog
    CARTHAGE — A Fayetteville man was charged Sunday with having sex with one of his boss’ dogs.

    The Moore County Sheriff’s Office charged Samuel James Johnson, 30, of Wilson Avenue, with felony crimes against nature and misdemeanor cruelty to animals. Bail was set at $3,500.

    A neighbor told authorities she saw Johnson assaulting one of two adult female pit bulls the morning of Aug. 21 in his front yard, said Animal Control Officer Frank Ringleberg.

    Johnson was living in a mobile home on Autumn Drive in Vass before he moved to Fayetteville, Ringleberg said. The owners of Presidential Tree Service, the company where Johnson works, let their employees live in the mobile home, Ringleberg said.

    Both dogs were taken to a veterinarian for examination, Detective Bill Mackey said. One of the dogs had minor injuries, but the veterinarian could not determine how the injuries were made, Mackey said.

    The dogs are being held at the Moore County Animal Shelter until investigators or a judge determine whether to return the animals to their owners, Ringleberg said.

    Johnson is scheduled to appear in Moore County District Court on Sept. 17.

    Mackey and Ringleberg said crimes against nature charges involving animals are rare in Moore County.

    “I couldn’t believe it when I got this call, trust me,” Ringleberg said. “I was driving and I had to pull over.”

    A day before the charges were filed against Johnson, Ringleberg said he was in Vass investigating another complaint against the dogs — that they had attacked another neighborhood dog.
  • edited September 2007
    Ew.
  • edited September 2007
    That guy really screwed the pooch, eh? EH!?

    ...I don't even know what that phrase means :-[
  • edited September 2007
    Woman denies intent to kill daughter, admits killing boy
    AKITA (Kyodo) An Akita Prefecture woman denied Wednesday intending to kill her 9-year-old daughter but admitted killing a 7-year-old neighbor boy.

    News photo
    Suzuka Hatakeyama, indicted for murdering her 9-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old boy, appears at the opening of her trial at the Akita District Court on Wednesday. KYODO ILLUSTRATION

    As the trial for Suzuka Hatakeyama, 34, got under way at the Akita District Court, her lawyers said she was "in a state of diminished responsibility" when she strangled the boy, Goken Yoneyama, on May 17, 2006, in her house in Fujisato.

    On the death of her daughter, Ayaka, that April 9, her lawyers said Hatakeyama brushed her off when the girl tried to hold on to her on a bridge, which resulted in her falling into a river, because Hatakeyama "has a disorder in which she dislikes being touched by other people."

    "I never made a decision to kill" the girl, Hatakeyama told the court, while admitting to killing Yoneyama and abandoning his body, saying the allegations are "right."

    "I'm not sure if my mental condition was normal at that time," she added.

    Prosecutors argued in their opening statement that Hatakeyama, who allegedly so disliked her daughter that she had not wanted to touch her from the time she was born, became distracted by her mere presence.

    They said Hatakeyama decided to kill the girl on the bridge in Fujisato when her hatred reached the breaking point. Hatakeyama knocked her off the bridge by pushing her left shoulder with all her might as the girl, who was sitting on the railing, tried to cling to her and said, "Mom, I'm scared," according to the prosecutors. She fell into the river screaming "Mommy!" they said.

    After her daughter's death, Hatakeyama asked the police, who had concluded the girl's death was accidental, to conduct an investigation again on the cause of death and sought information from other people.

    Thinking she was being unfairly ignored because the police were not eager to take up the case, her hatred of people grew and she searched indiscriminately for a target on which she could project her emotions, killing Yonehama and abandoning his body, the prosecutors said.

    The main points of the trial are whether she intended to kill her daughter and how she caused her death, whether she was mentally competent in the case of Yonehama, and whether her confession during the investigation was voluntary, the court said.

    The court has decided to conduct a mental examination on her at the request of her lawyers. The examination will be carried out in parallel with trial sessions.
  • edited September 2007
    Burma's pretty fucked up at the moment, if any of you guys pay a lot of attention to world news.
  • edited September 2007
    Capitalism is fucking lame sometimes
  • edited September 2007
    Capitalism is fucking lame sometimes

    Well how else will business majors like myself make our millions if we can't step on the backs of the common working man?
  • edited September 2007
    Prostitution?
  • edited September 2007
    Hard work?
  • edited September 2007
    Nazi Aliens!? Someone call Captain America!
    Police Discover Swastika Cut In Cornfield

    A New Jersey State Police helicopter on a routine maintenance mission discovered a large swastika cut in a cornfield in Washington Township, Mercer County. The swastika, which is only visible from the air, was located off of Hankins Road near where similar swastikas were found in July 1998 and June 1999.

    Investigators found that the most recent swastika appeared to have been hand-cut and covered an area of several acres.
    Story continues below ↓advertisement

    No arrests have been made in either previous case.

    The case is being investigated by the Washington Township Police Department, the Mercer County Prosecutor's Office, and the New Jersey State Division of Criminal Justice.

    Anyone with information should call Washington Township police at 609-259-3900.
  • edited September 2007
    Well, any networker will tell you: the best way to stay virus free is to unplug your NIC.
  • edited September 2007
    16.2% of Mozambique's 19m inhabitants are HIV positive
    17.5% of Mozambicans are Catholic

    I'm thinking they should stop listening to the bishop.
  • edited September 2007
    The Cook, the Beast, the Vice and its Lover
    A disgusting and twisted restaurant in the Tokyo entertainment district of Roppongi is enticing warped rich folk with the opportunity to figuratively have their cake and eat it, too -- with animals, according to Jitsuwa Knuckles (9/25).

    Roppongi's bestiality restaurant is being regarded by its main nouveau riche patronage of young company presidents and venture capitalists as a decadent practice only possible among the wealthy.

    "Apparently, the restaurant started off quietly in the basement of a building that a real estate agent in Roppongi who couldn't find any other tenants," an S&M club worker identified only as M tells Jitsuwa Knuckles. "News about the restaurant spread through word of mouth and it became popular."

    M says she visited the members-only restaurant about half a year ago after being invited there by one of her regulars, a well-heeled lawyer.

    At first glance, the first floor restaurant appears fairly nondescript. When a customer goes in, they give their name to a receptionist. When they are approved, they pass through a wooden door to be greeted by another door, this one made of metal. Passing a membership card over a scanner outside the door will automatically open it. Inside is an eatery that resembles just about any other Italian restaurant.

    Membership in the restaurant is open only to those with an annual salary of at least 20 million yen, and a minimum cash flow of 100 million yen.

    "After we got into the main restaurant, an employee escorted us down to the basement," M says. "The walls were pitch black and the floor covered in a blood red carpet, so I guess the place must be a refurbished S&M club."

    Once the customer feels prepared, they will be presented with beast of their choice. In the lawyer's case, it was a sow.

    "I'd been told what to expect, but when I actually saw what was happening, it was as shocking as you'd imagine it to be," M tells Jitsuwa Knuckles. "Later, the lawyer told me the appeal of the place just came about because when people have got money and done everything else, they turn toward bestiality."

    Once the lawyer had finished porking the pig, the couple returned to the first floor and sat at a table to dine. M says she was totally shocked when staff members carried in roast pork -- made of the same sow the lawyer had earlier been with.

    "I was about to vomit," M says. "It was the same pig that had been squealing just moments before. Now, it had been roasted whole. I managed to avoid eating it by only having salad."

    Incidentally, prices range from 200,000 yen to 500,000 yen for a chicken, dogs cost somewhere between 300,000 yen and 800,000 yen, while pigs and goats start at around 800,000 yen. Charges are higher depending on whether the creature is female and how active it is.

    "The owner says he is prepared to cook up any kind of animal at all," M tells Jitsuwa Knuckles. "He even said he'd prepare elephants ... but I think he might have been joking about that." (By Ryann Connell)

    September 17, 2007
  • edited September 2007
    ....you win. I don't think anything will be able to top that story. Seriously, What the FUCK is wrong with people?
  • edited September 2007
    OH. MY. GOD.

    =O
  • edited September 2007
    I swear to god I heard about this or something very similar before. They don't seem to see the difference between being disgustingly wealthy and just being disgusting.
  • edited September 2007
    Well, I know what I want for Christmas.
  • edited September 2007
    O_O
  • godgod
    edited September 2007
    *Shudder*
  • edited September 2007
    BIGO.gif