Center of the earth: The earth is suddenly filled with CANDY, but the lack of molten hot core causes the earth to unavoidable cool until life cannot be sustained.
I wish voice recognition software worked amazingly well, instead of astoundingly bad.
You remember any and all events, statements and thoughts that ever existed throughout eternity. Your mind is so filled with the constant stream of information that you are unable to concentrate on your surroundings. As a result, you are rendered completely incapable of interacting with the world. A vegetative state is the inevitable outcome.
I wish for everything to be the same as it was before making the wish, as if no wish had been made at all.
You make this wish and soon after a group of violent gangsters pulls you into a dark alleyway, intent on killing you and taking your stuff. You lose your items of value and your designer pants before being pushed into the street and shot after several people see you.
I wish for a large amount of Jell-o to be made for me whenever I want.
You make this wish and soon after a group of violent gangsters pulls you into a dark alleyway, intent on killing you and taking your stuff. You lose your items of value and your designer pants before being pushed into the street and shot after several people see you.
Maybe so, but since my wish was for events to occur as if no wish had been made, that was gonna happen anyway. Ipso facto, the wish wasn't corrupted to harm me! I WIN!!
But in the end you didn't wish for anything besides what was already happening. Your wish was void in the first place and therefore would not be granted by any self respecting wish granting being, however you would not be able to tell it was not granted. Either you had a horrible mugging coming to ya via Karma-camel, or the being grew angry with you and performed a different wish.
So though you may win this thread, you had said horrible mugging coming because of your bad behavior (said behavior may or may not actually be bad) in threads like this one, or you're spectacularly bad at pissing off [nearly] all powerful entities.
That's not something to brag about.
Edit: Or, everything at that point in time remains the same but the actions people make in the future have changed because the wish didn't include "and that everyone behaves in the same way they would behave in had I not made this wish." Therefore the muggers decided to mug the next person to pass by their alley because you neglected to add this simple phrase.
I wish for everything to be the same as it was before making the wish, as if no wish had been made at all.
Let me try this one!
You're wish is granted! Whatever it was, it was glorious! ...for a little bit. Then everything was changed back and you lost your memory of it all, save for a small but perpetual feeling of loss that plagues you for the rest of your days.
Better?
No Longer: The Jello is some abomination of a flavor. It is gross and you don't want it. Ever. You tried it once and the awful taste lingered in your mouth for days.
A harmless Crunch Bar comes into your possession harmlessly. A large, angry weightlifter sees your bar, wants it really REALLY badly, punches you in the face, HARD, and takes it from you.
I wish that I could pause and unpause time at will, while my body and mind and matter and energy that I choose remains active.
There are so many different types of energy and matter that inevitably you forget to keep some of them active. Eventually you forget to activate certain molecules in certain places and poison yourself through air/water/ect.
I wish that that all video games are completely realistic in every way so much so that if we were placed into a virtual reality against our will we wouldn't know it was fake.
And you can't use that example against me because we have no virtual realities advanced enough for that to really apply. (Lack or peripheral vision, a non-lack of HUD, ect.)
You sit at your desk and play Solitaire on your computer and it's so real it like your actually playing with real cards. Wait? Are you playing with real cards? You forget whether you are in a game or not. If so, how do you get out? You lose your mind trying to keep reality and games separated and go broke paying to see a psychiatrist and you never figure out if he's a real psychiatrist or a part of a game.
I wish my freshly cleaned bedding was actually on my bed right now.
(Also I'm really tempted to use a siezure avatar now. I have one.)
illithid: Your sister's plane has to make a layover for refueling along the way. While landed, terrorists take the plane hostage, and force you to pay an exorbitant fee to release your sister. You have to drive and pick her up at the other airport, many many miles away (since all flights are grounded). It's more than an hour's drive away.
This extra day means we must be farther out from the sun than we were previously, however it wasn't that the planet was moved into another stable orbit, what actually is happening is that the Earth is slipping out from it's orbit around Sol at an alarming rate. Earth is flung from the solar system, and without sufficient light everything dies.
I wish birds could talk in english without breaking their beaks.
Birds constantly follow you around revealing all your embarrassing secrets to whoever will listen.
I wish that weekends had an arbitrary extra day that simply put the calendar in misalignment with the Earth's revolutions around the Sun, thereby obviating any need to displace the Earth.
I wish for everything to be the same as it was before making the wish, as if no wish had been made at all.
An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path, right? He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was traveling to and who he was. He'd sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: 'Now your third wish. What will it be?'
'Third wish?' The man was baffled. 'How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a first and second wish?'
'You've had two wishes already,' the hag said, 'but your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.' She cackled at the poor berk. 'So it is that you have one wish left.'
'All right,' said the man, "I don't believe this, but there's no harm in wishing. I wish to know who I am.'
'Funny,' said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish.'
Mario:
You, get to work one less day a week with your pay unchanged. However with ever day of work missed, the macs will gain power eventually making Jobs supreme ruler of the world.
You try to wiki up an adventure until you realize that using wiki as a verb in this context is unclear, and you're not sure what to do with it. So you do nothing. Blah.
I wish to make friends with a biologist who manages to splice genes of ostriches enough to create a chocobo, which they then give me as a gift.
Nice try, but weak. I guess I should just do it myself.
EDIT: There we go! If I'm gonna do it, I'm not going to half-ass it.
Night Lord: Jake allows you to call him Jakey. And promptly starts going by a different name, but you don't realize it, thinking there is a new person among us and that Jakey simply disappeared.
I wish for nap-time to be instituted as a standard practice in the work place.
Comments
Center of the earth: The earth is suddenly filled with CANDY, but the lack of molten hot core causes the earth to unavoidable cool until life cannot be sustained.
I wish voice recognition software worked amazingly well, instead of astoundingly bad.
I wish for world peace.
I wish for...
I wish that lava didn't hurt or injure humans and we could bathe in it.
I wish I had a pile of beanbag chairs.
Edit: I forgot my wish while referencing Mario's wonderful brew panel!!!
I wish that I wasn't as forgetful.
I wish for everything to be the same as it was before making the wish, as if no wish had been made at all.
I wish for a large amount of Jell-o to be made for me whenever I want.
Maybe so, but since my wish was for events to occur as if no wish had been made, that was gonna happen anyway. Ipso facto, the wish wasn't corrupted to harm me! I WIN!!
So though you may win this thread, you had said horrible mugging coming because of your bad behavior (said behavior may or may not actually be bad) in threads like this one, or you're spectacularly bad at pissing off [nearly] all powerful entities.
That's not something to brag about.
Edit: Or, everything at that point in time remains the same but the actions people make in the future have changed because the wish didn't include "and that everyone behaves in the same way they would behave in had I not made this wish." Therefore the muggers decided to mug the next person to pass by their alley because you neglected to add this simple phrase.
Let me try this one!
You're wish is granted! Whatever it was, it was glorious! ...for a little bit. Then everything was changed back and you lost your memory of it all, save for a small but perpetual feeling of loss that plagues you for the rest of your days.
Better?
No Longer: The Jello is some abomination of a flavor. It is gross and you don't want it. Ever. You tried it once and the awful taste lingered in your mouth for days.
I wish I had a new avatar.
I wish I liked spinach more. I already like it quite a bit, but I would like to like it more.
I wish I had a completely harmless crunch bar that comes into my possession by entirely safe means.
I wish that I could pause and unpause time at will, while my body and mind and matter and energy that I choose remains active.
I wish that that all video games are completely realistic in every way so much so that if we were placed into a virtual reality against our will we wouldn't know it was fake.
And you can't use that example against me because we have no virtual realities advanced enough for that to really apply. (Lack or peripheral vision, a non-lack of HUD, ect.)
I wish my freshly cleaned bedding was actually on my bed right now.
(Also I'm really tempted to use a siezure avatar now. I have one.)
I wish I didn't have to pick up my sister from the airport in an hour (I want to see if anyone will actually go there
Foolish wisher!!!
illithid: Your sister's plane has to make a layover for refueling along the way. While landed, terrorists take the plane hostage, and force you to pay an exorbitant fee to release your sister. You have to drive and pick her up at the other airport, many many miles away (since all flights are grounded). It's more than an hour's drive away.
I wish that weekends had an extra day.
I wish birds could talk in english without breaking their beaks.
I wish that weekends had an arbitrary extra day that simply put the calendar in misalignment with the Earth's revolutions around the Sun, thereby obviating any need to displace the Earth.
You, get to work one less day a week with your pay unchanged. However with ever day of work missed, the macs will gain power eventually making Jobs supreme ruler of the world.
I wish to wiki me up an adventure.
I wish to make friends with a biologist who manages to splice genes of ostriches enough to create a chocobo, which they then give me as a gift.
Nice try, but weak. I guess I should just do it myself.
EDIT: There we go! If I'm gonna do it, I'm not going to half-ass it.
Night Lord: Jake allows you to call him Jakey. And promptly starts going by a different name, but you don't realize it, thinking there is a new person among us and that Jakey simply disappeared.
I wish for nap-time to be instituted as a standard practice in the work place.
I wish X'o'Lore would change his avatar. It's giving me a headache.