Corrupt a Wish

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Comments

  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited July 2008
    The cheese is several decades old and the crackers are on fire.

    I wish to be completely immune to all of the effects of fire.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    You are completely immune to not only fire, but all sources of heat. Therefore you never feel warm again, just like Harry Gill (Read Goody Blake and Harry Gill for the reference).

    I wish I had a perpetual motion machine.
  • BehemothBehemoth
    edited July 2008
    You get the machine, but it uses so much power to maintain itself you only net one watt every week.

    I wish I could spend all day sitting around, drinking beer without any adverse health effects.
  • Light_ApparitionLight_Apparition
    edited July 2008
    You spend all day sitting around drinking beer with no effects on your health but since you can't go to work you lose your job and all source of income to buy the beer so you become a hobo suffering from withdrawal.

    I wish I had all the manga in the world, didn't have to pay for it, and didn't have any obligation to read what I didn't want to.
  • Professor MacJakeProfessor MacJake
    edited July 2008
    Your stockpile of manga is the envy of all the crazed internet Otakus the world over. Eventually one's irrational boner for them sends him into a jealous rage and murders you in order to claim your collection.

    I wish I had gainful employment.
  • DrLeopoldStrabismusDrLeopoldStrabismus
    edited July 2008
    You become a prostitute, and you gain every STD. Ever.

    I wish I didn't hate The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn so much so that I could write this final essay for my English class and never have to touch the horrible, filthy subject again for the remainder of my college career.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    You love Huck Finn so much that you only ever read it. You just sit and read it over and over and over and over for all eternity.

    I wish I could visit any country of my choice, whenever I wished for free.
  • Professor MacJakeProfessor MacJake
    edited July 2008
    Your frequent trips raise the suspicion of Her Majesty's Secret Service. You are shot on sight at Heathrow after your 8th unexplainable trip to Oman.

    I wish I was better at RPGs.
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    The EU shits on that idea and builds a big wall around its borders. It then invades Britain and tells you how to run your economy and government.

    I wish I had a Mountain Dew.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    ARGH! I piss in your fucking mountain dew!

    You're great at RPGs, but you're also fat, pale, friendless and with cheesy fingers.

    I wish for a Fish Finger Sandwich for lunch tomorrow.
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    Haha! I knew you'd like that EU one.

    You get no fish finger sandwiches. In your anger, you accidentally kill a hobo. You then decide you might as well not let him go to waste.

    Speaking of food, I wish to eat dumplings for lunch today.
  • illithid235illithid235
    edited July 2008
    Nope, that's not how it works. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, BUFFOON!! You have to grant the wish.

    By the way, are we talking tabletop RPGs or video games?

    You get your dumplings, take a big bite... and realize that someone make their dumplings from their morning dump. Joke's on you, whitie!

    I wish that I could be in my new apartment NOW, instead of on Saturday.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    You get into your apartment seconds before a cloud of toxic gas seeps in and chokes you to death. It would have dissipated Friday night.

    I wish for Little Big Planet to be released on the Xbox 360
  • Mish42Mish42
    edited July 2008
    It's released, just for you! Your Xbox 360 gets the red ring of death, and no one else has a copy. You're left staring at the working game DISK, with no system to play it on. You fall into a deep depression and become unmotivated to play any video game for the rest of your life.

    I wish I had a transporter that would safely teleport me instantly to whomever I wanted to visit without worrying about gas prices, car air conditioning, extra free time, and college/work schedules that would otherwise render me unable to visit, and then safely send me back (instantaneously) to my starting location (unscathed and satisfied) that I could use whenever I wanted to and didn't cost anything.

    I almost don't want to see this shot down, I'd really want one!!

    EDIT: Sorry about that, my internet crapped out when I originally posted it but I thought I had made sure I didn't post it twice. Guess I wasn't paying very much attention.
  • QueenQuinlinQueenQuinlin
    edited July 2008
    ARG! DOUBLE POST!!!

    And Mish, I hope you’re happy, I have nothing to corrupt your wish. :(
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited July 2008
    The teleporter hiccups, and it reassembles you as a hideous mess of bones, blood, and skin.

    I wish I had more beer.

    Edit: I got my wish.
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    Well, shit.
  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited July 2008
    You get alcohol poisoning.

    I wish for time to stop for five hours every day, and that I could move and do whatever I wanted to in that time, and not have/need any bodily functions besides the requirements to move in that time, without having to worry about adverse health affects.
  • Light_ApparitionLight_Apparition
    edited July 2008
    Someone close to you is killed at the exact moment the five hours start, they are stuck, suspended in the instant they die and seeing them frozen like this drives you mad from grief.

    I wish that I had shoes that came into my possession by completely harmless means, would never wear down, break, or become uncomfortable. They enable me to jump high in the air and across long distances and cushion every fall that may occur. They fit me perfectly and if my feet grow they grow with them, they are immune to odor and are machine washable. Also, they can not being stolen. Their style changes to fit the current fashion trends or my preference only on cue from me, they do not change form without my consent or while they are on my feet. Also, I can take them on and off whenever I want.

    Let's see you corrupt this... hehehe....
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    You use your supershoes to jump high into the air! You hit your head on the ceiling and fall into a coma.
    After ten years your loved ones decide to pull the plug and you die slowly.


    I wish I had gaydar.
  • godgod
    edited July 2008
    You jump high in the air, and hit a flock of birds. They peck your eyes out.

    I wish it was Friday so I could go to Connecticon.

    Edit: You use your gaydar to find some gay people hibernating in a cave. Unfortunately, you are impaled upon a stalagmite while trying to get back out.
  • Light_ApparitionLight_Apparition
    edited July 2008
    (Dang didn't think of that!)

    You get your wish... you show up at 11:59 friday night, you have missed Connecticon.

    I wish people would stop calling me Meth.
  • godgod
    edited July 2008
    Ah, but Connecticon lasts until 6:00pm Sunday, and you can stay there at all hours of the night provided you don't sleep.

    People start calling you heroin.
  • ReallyCleanSocksReallyCleanSocks
    edited July 2008
    god wrote: »
    I wish it was Friday so I could go to Connecticon.

    Will you be there all weekend? Because I'm going to be there on Saturday. We should totally meet up and have shenanigans!
  • X'o'LoreX'o'Lore
    edited July 2008
    ((pssst. god, you need to make another wish.))
  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited July 2008
    I don't think so, no one has corrupted his last wish yet.
  • DrastickBlowDownDrastickBlowDown
    edited July 2008
    This thread is about as off topic as a derailing train.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    I wish I had some cranberry juice to mix with this vodka. All I have is squash and lemonade :(
  • NoLongerNoLonger
    edited July 2008
    Squash is good at all times with all things, but you get your cranberry juice, it's cranberry juice that's been poisoned.

    I wish that I had the motivation to finish my lego ship.
  • brucebruce
    edited July 2008
    ((I'm drinking alcohol, which is technically a poison, so nyeh))

    You build your lego ship. Then it asplodes.

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