Corrupt a Wish

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  • edited July 2008
    You get your iPhone 3G... but you have to live in a cardboard box to pay it off.

    Hope your happy with your expensive iPhone, I'm happy here with my can of silly string.

    I wish the internet connection for my laptop wasn't so crappy.
  • edited July 2008
    You get such a fast connection that all the sites you vist crash.

    I wish not to have any ailment what-so-ever, with NO SIDE-EFFECTS!
  • edited July 2008
    You lead a perfectly healthy life until it is ended by a meteor falling right on your head.

    I wish it were winter.
  • edited July 2008
    All the ailments you have disappear, they all reappear within the month.

    Edit: BLAH!!!

    It becomes winter... nuclear winter.

    I wish to know exactly how the universe works, how it was created, and how to exploit any of the strange laws the universe works by.
  • edited July 2008
    You find out the workings of the universe, but then the entire universe ceases to exist and is replaced by something even more ludicrous. Another theory says this has already happened before.

    I wish for undeniable proof either way of God's existence, so we can all just get on with out lives.
  • edited July 2008
    Night Lord wrote: »
    I wish for undeniable proof either way of God's existence, so we can all just get on with out lives.

    You receive said proof. Unfortunately, your typo is taken literally, and you immediately perish.

    I wish for a Mega Man gun arm that I could easily remove.
  • edited July 2008
    You're arrested for use of a cosplay weapon.

    I wish life made sense.
  • edited July 2008
    It all suddenly makes sense. It is too horrible to comprehend and by comprehending it, your mind instantly breaks. You are brain-dead. Game Over. Start a new game?_

    Ummmm...I wish I was in Dixie?
  • edited July 2008
    In Dixie Land you took your stand to live and die in Dixie. Unfortunately, the "die" came much sooner than you thought in the form of a lynch mob.

    I wish I was the frontman of a popular band.
  • edited July 2008
    You are the frontman of a popular band. You realize that your hermit-like personality doesn't mix well with the life of a musician, and end up killing yourself via shotgun to the head.

    I wish I had someone who could do my homework for me, free of charge, and in such a neat and fast way that i'd always get top grades.
  • edited July 2008
    The person doing your homework is actually a sting operative working for the school. After completing a few top-grading papers in this fashion, you are arrested for plagiarism when turning in the final assignment of the semester. The evidence against you is more than enough to put you away for life.

    I wish I could speed read.
  • edited July 2008
    You learn how to speed read, you are now reading books that should take months to read, in mere seconds. You gain a huge fondness for books that overtakes your life. You sell everything to buy books, you only keep barely enough to pay taxes when they're due. In the end you die of starvation, because you never bought any more food.

    I wish that human technology improved instantaneously to the point where it would've, were it not for this wish, finally reached in 30 years, and that everyone knew how to use it proficiently.
  • godgod
    edited July 2008
    You are the victim of a plasma cannon drive by.

    I wish I had some poptarts.
  • edited July 2008
    HOLY BALLS I want pop-tarts too! You take a bite, and I beat you and steal them.

    I wish I could not work and still get paid.
  • edited July 2008
    Your bodily functions cease to work... but hey! at least you still get paid!

    I wish to have an entire squadron of loyal attack chihuahuas.
  • edited July 2008
    Your squadron made up of those loyal to you attack and kill all the world's chihuahuas, including your own.

    Then you spontaneously combust.
  • edited July 2008
    What the hell does spontaneous combustion have to do with chihuahuas? If you want us to think of your responses as being totally awesome, the corruptions ought to be related to the wish. You know, be careful what you wish for, that sort of thing?
  • edited July 2008
    Absolutely nothing. He just had bad luck.
  • edited July 2008
    Seems like the wish didn't corrupt at all then. It's like saying "on another completely unrelated note, you die".
  • edited July 2008
    This is the only forum I've ever been on that takes wish corrupting so seriously.
  • edited July 2008
    Are dead chihuahuas bad luck? Because that might make more sense... let's just say they're bad luck somewhere and get on with it!!!
  • edited July 2008
    Wish-corrupting is serious business! : - [

    Nah, : - ]
  • edited July 2008
    p_-...
    Jolly good!!!
    p_,=
  • edited July 2008
    I wish the new season of Flight of the Conchords would start already!
  • edited July 2008
    NoLonger wrote: »
    p_-...
    Jolly good!!!
    p_,=
    p_q
    You have been owned by my doubled–monocle-ness.
  • edited July 2008
    deku12345 wrote: »
    I wish the new season of Flight of the Conchords would start already!

    HBO finally airs season two! In anticipation of this monumentous event you invite over your closest clique of friends to watch the first episode! As you're all seated around the rumpus room - some on the couch, one lad spread across a beanbag chair, Andy and his flavor-of-the-week girlfriend looking very cozy on the loveseat - the show starts. The popcorn is ready and the lights are dimmed.

    Jemaine and Bret make some quips. The duo sings some songs. There are some chuckles among your friends. Some time passes and you find yourself looking at your watch more often. You look around and yawn. Most of your friends are nervously looking at their watches as well, except Andy; he's snogging that redhead. You realize that only ten minutes have passed, but it feels like the show should be over by now. Why isn't this funny?

    The night ends with Andy leaving early, and the rest of your mates sitting around for lack of nothing better to do. Nobody wants to talk about Flight of the Conchords.

    Why was it so bad?

    A week passes and you haven't seen anybody from that night. You ...you can't stand to look at them. You're reminded of the horrible writing and forced non-sequitors. Why? Why was it so bad!?

    IF ONLY THEY DIDN'T JUMP INTO PRODUCTION SO SOON, THE WRITING MIGHT HAVE BEEN DECENT!

    I wish I had woofly winds.