It has become clear to me that my opponent stands on a platform of double standards. He refuses basic rights to the once-living, yet exalts the metallic men who have never lived at all? Can you really trust a candidate who flip-flops on such basic issues? Can you really trust him... with your children?
Candidate mario: You appear to be in favour of zombie-rights. What is your position on zombie marriage? How would you reconcile a marriage between the living and the dead when marriage is explicitly stated to last until death does them part?
Strictly speaking, a zombie exists in a state of "undeath". Such a marriage would therefore last until redeath (usually caused by a sufficient blow to the zombie's cranium). The letter of the law would indicate that, if the living partner were to expire, the marriage would be null and void, giving the potentially newly-zombified person the right to remarry as they saw fit.
The best solution, of course, would be to alter the wedding vows to be more appropriate to such a mixed marriage, but I do understand that old traditions are slow to update amidst changing times. It is up to the married couple to decide how to best fulfill their vows.
It has become clear to me that my opponent stands on a platform of double standards. He refuses basic rights to the once-living, yet exalts the metallic men who have never lived at all? Can you really trust a candidate who flip-flops on such basic issues? Can you really trust him... with your children?
2 part response -
1. robots, space, and lasers are flippin' awesome, everyone knows it.
2. my opponent accuses me of flip flopping, yet I know for a fact that he has played any number of zombie killing games, including ones like Resident Evil 4, which he speaks quite highly of. How can he condone statements against those ugly brain-biters, and yet promote what one could call a zombie killing training program? Is Mr. Panighetti going to allow such games to exist? If he disallows zombie killing games, what's next, no video games with robots in them? *points at mario* You sir, will take my video games from my cold dead hands.
Candidate geoko: It is my understanding that your pro-zombie-fish punching , but what about other forms of de-fish-zombiefication methods? What about, purely as an example, zombie fish slapping?
I can only express pity for my opponent's inability to discern fantasy from reality. I believe in our great nation's ability to play a video game without enacting the events that occur within. There also exist video games that depict zombies in a positive light, yet Mr. Kottmeier conveniently ignores their existence in a shameless attempt to cloud the facts. The fact is, Mr. Kottmeier owns what is routinely touted as the biggest murder simulator of them all, yet we do not expect him to start roaming the streets killing his many frequent prostitutes! Does he believe that some violent games beget violence and others do not? You cannot have it both ways, sir.
Gentlemen, gentlemen! This thread has roamed wildly off topic. Mario, you of all people should know the dangers of such things. A topic as important as this deserves its own thread.
I couldn't agree more. By voting for me, you're voting for the candidate with the innate ability to split up threads into their constituent components. My opponent, on the other hand, lacks even this basic ability. Is that the kind of man you want comptrolling for our great state?
I have a history of being fair and balanced, using my moderator status to meet the need of orangbeltians. Some others have a known history of manipulation for personal gain - for an excellent example of my opponent's use of his authority, look at this poll's results. (current results pictured below in case of further poll manipulation) Kirby was winning this election by a landslide, before mario hacked the electroinc polling system.
To address the fish punching / slapping issue - While punching is my preferred method, I am for any form of force used against zombie fish, including slapping, kicking, punching, flicking, giving indian burns, etc. I am certainly not closed minded on the subject, unlike my opponent.
Candidate Mario: Your opponent has raised some serious allegations against you! What do you say to this "Poll Tampering Scandal"(more on this story tonight at 8), and how will you re-assure the forum-mites that you are completely trustworthy in regards to your admin responsibilities?
Well NoLonger, thank you for your input, but unless you are officially part of The Mario Campaign, we cannot use that as a viable answer!
By the way, what are the slogans? We need some catchy phrases here!
These claims are another attempt on the part of my opponent to dilute the real issues in this election. No proof was ever brought to light implicating me in these events. I maintain that all of those votes were made by legitimate forum members who subsequently had their accounts deleted for unrelated issues. This mudslinging on Mr. Kottmeier's part serves no purpose other than to divert the people from his unscrupulous beliefs regarding the deceased's God-given rights as a human being.
What about inter-life marriage? You see there's this girl and she's... well she's a zombie. but when she looks at me with those glazed eyes I just can't help but... well, sufficed to say, what are your stances on the marriage between the living and undead?
Hmmm. Well, I like Mario's stance for equality, but the facts sadly support Geoff's "brain-eating" sentiment. Statistics show unmistakably that the vast majority of living-challenged individuals have or have attempted to eat a living person's brain. Certainly I can understand the undead perspective in that they NEED my brain, but at the same time I need it too.
These needs are purely opposed to each other such that compromise is nigh impossible. With that said, How is it possible to support both sides of this issue? I need my brain to live just as much as the dead need it to un-live, so how do these rights play out? Geoff has made his stance very clear. I trust that he will side with me when the inevitable dispute over my mind comes to pass.
It is Mario's take on this that I need to know.
EDIT: Additionally, was Mario not convicted for being a "Big Poll Editing Jerk" by Stef?
I object to you your assertion that the majority of the undead eat brains. What about the proud Vampire community? Or animated corpses unaffected by zombism? Your zombie-centric worldview is disturbing!
Vampires are been known to have interests in blood just as zombies take interest in brains and my point stands with them as well.
I will concede your point regarding other undead, although there is a very high rate of property disputes with ghosts as well.
Still, my views are not at issue here. If we narrow the scope of my question to be limited to matters of the rights of myself and some forms of undead to various aspects of my body, my question remains perfectly legitimate.
Plus, zombies clearly don't say, "Human Braaaains" they just say. "Braaaaaains." That means that they could very easily be fed with the brains from slaughtered animals.
Also, though Vampire's may need blood, but what about animal blood, and even if it isn't as tasty, blood banks? In addition to this Vampires don't necessarily drain the "victim" of all his/her blood, they could survive a feeding every now and then.
Comments
The best solution, of course, would be to alter the wedding vows to be more appropriate to such a mixed marriage, but I do understand that old traditions are slow to update amidst changing times. It is up to the married couple to decide how to best fulfill their vows.
2 part response -
1. robots, space, and lasers are flippin' awesome, everyone knows it.
2. my opponent accuses me of flip flopping, yet I know for a fact that he has played any number of zombie killing games, including ones like Resident Evil 4, which he speaks quite highly of. How can he condone statements against those ugly brain-biters, and yet promote what one could call a zombie killing training program? Is Mr. Panighetti going to allow such games to exist? If he disallows zombie killing games, what's next, no video games with robots in them? *points at mario* You sir, will take my video games from my cold dead hands.
I for one vote for our local Mario!
I have a history of being fair and balanced, using my moderator status to meet the need of orangbeltians. Some others have a known history of manipulation for personal gain - for an excellent example of my opponent's use of his authority, look at this poll's results. (current results pictured below in case of further poll manipulation) Kirby was winning this election by a landslide, before mario hacked the electroinc polling system.
To address the fish punching / slapping issue - While punching is my preferred method, I am for any form of force used against zombie fish, including slapping, kicking, punching, flicking, giving indian burns, etc. I am certainly not closed minded on the subject, unlike my opponent.
By the way, what are the slogans? We need some catchy phrases here!
Tonight at 8!
You disgust me.
In a good way.
Like a Viking.
These needs are purely opposed to each other such that compromise is nigh impossible. With that said, How is it possible to support both sides of this issue? I need my brain to live just as much as the dead need it to un-live, so how do these rights play out? Geoff has made his stance very clear. I trust that he will side with me when the inevitable dispute over my mind comes to pass.
It is Mario's take on this that I need to know.
EDIT: Additionally, was Mario not convicted for being a "Big Poll Editing Jerk" by Stef?
I will concede your point regarding other undead, although there is a very high rate of property disputes with ghosts as well.
Still, my views are not at issue here. If we narrow the scope of my question to be limited to matters of the rights of myself and some forms of undead to various aspects of my body, my question remains perfectly legitimate.
Also, though Vampire's may need blood, but what about animal blood, and even if it isn't as tasty, blood banks? In addition to this Vampires don't necessarily drain the "victim" of all his/her blood, they could survive a feeding every now and then.