Apparently you all chose [DR]. The sailors all laugh off the sea serpent as a figment of their collective imaginations and take a drink. The sea serpent creates a typhoon! with like magic or something. The ship is pulled into a powerful whirlpool and is in danger of being pulled underwater! In your drunken stupor, you remark to yourself that the ship's cat, Mr. Meowman, seems strangely calm amidst all the horror and impending doom, as he is sleeping peacefully on his favorite rug up on the aft deck. You:
[A] ttack the sea serpent in hope of interrupting his magic spell-casting
[R] egain control of the ship's steering ummon a familiar to assist your party of drunken sailors, because one of you is secretly a mage that took on the guise of a sailor to escape a troubled past or something
[T] hrow Mr. Meowman at the sea serpent, because you apparently don't like cats very much
[DR] ink
I'm sorry, I don't understand E.
I'm sorry, I don't understand USSR.
While most of the sailors continue to inbibe their various ales, one of them steps forth and reveals that he is, in fact, a powerful mage! He would get into the details surrounding his sordid past, but the other sailors seem oblivious of this shocking revelation on account of their considerable inebriation, and besides that, you've got a sea serpent to fight.
The mage tries his hardest to summon a powerful familiar that can fight against this foe, but the vast amounts of alcohol in his system continue to impede his judgment. With a mumbling of some slurred magic words, he conjures a 50-foot tall carafe of the finest brew!
The sea serpent sees this floating monolith and quickly takes it into its mighty grasp, downing the entire contents in mere moments. The brew quickly goes to work, coursing through his body and dulling his senses as it weakens the creature's cerebral cortex, limbic system, cerebellum, hypothalamus and pituitary gland, and finally his monstrous medulla (in that order; to learn more about how alcohol affects the brain, feel free to read the HowStuffWorks article on the subject). The serpent begins to sway back and forth, and eventually loses its balance, crashing to the sea and woozily sinking to the ocean floor.
With the sea serpent sufficiently intoxicated, the whirlpool immediately dissipates, and the ship with its crew is saved! You:
[DR] ink
[D] on't drink, you've had plenty for now
[D] because it is at this point that I remember for some reason that I ran out of alcohol a long time ago and have been drinking salt water all this time. I run to the port side and return my salty drinks to the sea from whence they came. During this time I look into the depths of the rolling waters and recall that there is a massive serpent full of brew underneath those waves. Perhaps if I can hold my breath long enough...
Comments
If you just took a drink, drink.
EDIT: WE JUST GOT MARIOWNED WHILE YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION.
I doubted it at first, but I too am convinced that I love where this thread is going.
Okay, the drunken sailors enter the storm, only to encounter a sea serpent! You:
[ A ] ttack
[ D ] efend
[ U ] se item
[ R ] un away
[ DR ] ink
C) Blasphemy/madness
D) SPARTAAAAAAAA!
Apparently you all chose [DR]. The sailors all laugh off the sea serpent as a figment of their collective imaginations and take a drink. The sea serpent creates a typhoon! with like magic or something. The ship is pulled into a powerful whirlpool and is in danger of being pulled underwater! In your drunken stupor, you remark to yourself that the ship's cat, Mr. Meowman, seems strangely calm amidst all the horror and impending doom, as he is sleeping peacefully on his favorite rug up on the aft deck. You:
[A] ttack the sea serpent in hope of interrupting his magic spell-casting
[R] egain control of the ship's steering
ummon a familiar to assist your party of drunken sailors, because one of you is secretly a mage that took on the guise of a sailor to escape a troubled past or something
[T] hrow Mr. Meowman at the sea serpent, because you apparently don't like cats very much
[DR] ink
Then again, one shouldn't drink and sail.
Might as well go all the way at this point.
[DR]!
I'm sorry, I don't understand E.
I'm sorry, I don't understand USSR.
While most of the sailors continue to inbibe their various ales, one of them steps forth and reveals that he is, in fact, a powerful mage! He would get into the details surrounding his sordid past, but the other sailors seem oblivious of this shocking revelation on account of their considerable inebriation, and besides that, you've got a sea serpent to fight.
The mage tries his hardest to summon a powerful familiar that can fight against this foe, but the vast amounts of alcohol in his system continue to impede his judgment. With a mumbling of some slurred magic words, he conjures a 50-foot tall carafe of the finest brew!
The sea serpent sees this floating monolith and quickly takes it into its mighty grasp, downing the entire contents in mere moments. The brew quickly goes to work, coursing through his body and dulling his senses as it weakens the creature's cerebral cortex, limbic system, cerebellum, hypothalamus and pituitary gland, and finally his monstrous medulla (in that order; to learn more about how alcohol affects the brain, feel free to read the HowStuffWorks article on the subject). The serpent begins to sway back and forth, and eventually loses its balance, crashing to the sea and woozily sinking to the ocean floor.
With the sea serpent sufficiently intoxicated, the whirlpool immediately dissipates, and the ship with its crew is saved! You:
[DR] ink
[D] on't drink, you've had plenty for now
or maybe fun times.
You aren't drunk until you're pissing in Mr. Meowman's bowl.
EDIT: (by the way, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite threads.)
Someone's gotta be the designated navigator.