Edit: ((Wait a minute, if I'm a bird that means I can't say anything but *cheap chirp* without breaking my beak? I will gain telepathy by doing pointless excercises that should yeild no significant results yet somehow do. They do that in manga and anime all the time, so it should work in an NES game the same way.))
((A new addition to the game! At the end of each turn post, I'll include updated statistics for all characters, including current status, location (when you've stated it), equipment, and blood alcohol content (you can use this for role-playing if you like; I'll be using it to determine general success rate of your actions, as well as physical and mental condition). Let me know if I miss anybody!))
[size=+3]Episode 1, Turn 6[/size]
[size=+2]Groups[/size]
[size=+1]The Explorers[/size]
Before anyone can make a decision as to their next course of action, Takeru suddenly steps forward and proclaims himself the owner of the rock island. He starts laying claim to the tree, the coconuts, the "X", the sand, and by merit of their relative proximity, the Sun and the sky. He immediately demands that the other Explorers pay property taxes for the privilege of staying at his property. The alcohol combined with the heat of the Sun's rays has clearly made him a bit delirious, and the other sailors agree that the best thing to do is to get him some food and water so he can come to his senses, and maybe be a little less crazy.
He's not the only one affected. MrCheeze takes a big gulp of the ale and proclaims it to be coconut juice, followed by some babbling about experience points. ((How would he drink coconut juice if he didn't climb the tree to get a coconut first? Damned if I know.))
hlavco, after recovering from an embarrassing slip-and-fall on a particularly slimy rock (and dropping his shovels in the process), volunteers to climb the tree and fetch some coconuts. Amoeba Boy, always eager to create competition, climbs the tree as well in an effort to reach the top before hlavco. NoLonger tries his best to help and flies up to a coconut (technically winning the race to the top), but forgets to slow down and crashes into it, sending both the coconut and himself falling to the ground below. Luckily, MrCheeze breaks both of their falls, but is too drunk to notice the sizable bump on his head. Amoeba Boy and hlavco agree that this was awesome, and concede the race to NoLonger before grabbing a handful of coconuts apiece and descending the tree to rejoin the party.
deku12345, in all likelihood still a bit tipsy (a common enough theme amongst this crew), is suddenly taken with an urge to visit China, and determines that a hole in the sand is the best way to accomplish this feat. He grabs one of hlavco's shovels and quickly goes to work on the "X" spot. He doesn't have to dig far before his shovel makes contact with a hard piece of metal. Moving the rest of the sand out of the way with his hands, he finds that the metallic object is a large cast-iron door embedded in the rock. It does not appear to be locked, and a round ring handle is visible. He tugs on the handle as hard as he can in an effort to remove the only discernible barrier between him and China, but it feels too heavy for him to move on his own. If three or more explorers work together, they should be able to get it open, and see.... well, whatever there is to see.
---
[size=+1]The Guards[/size]
Life is easygoing back on the ship. A few of the guards decide to get back to some important drinking they've been meaning to catch up on. rightclickscott starts ranting about his secret life as a pirate, making it perfectly clear just how drunk he is. He tries to fumble with a musket to target one of the seagulls, but can hardly hold it straight, and quickly collapses to the deck after missing several times and losing his balance. ((Guess that's what he gets for trying to choose more than one action in his condition.))
illithid235 grabs one of Agentcel's fishing poles, hoping to snag a fish. Apparently he's got a thing for shiny fish. He drops the hook-and-bait into the water and waits patiently for a bite. In an outcome completely unlike the average fishing experience, a fish bites onto the hook and begins to tug! In his excitement, he almost drops his fishin' pole, but then decides against it. The tugging isn't quite as powerful as he would have preferred, and he figures the fish can't be all that big if it's putting up this weak of a fight. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and not just in the "potential dates" sense of the phrase. There are real fish too.
The other guards and overly-drunk sailors haven't done anything yet, so the same options as before apply. I hear drinking is nice this time of year.
---
[size=+1]X'o'Lore[/size]
Understandably frightened at the sight of the sober monster, X'o'Lore attempts to do everything at once, turning tail and fleeing while kicking some sand into the water while tossing back the coral dagger. He probably screams like a little girl too, or at least the bubbly equivalent. However, it's clear that he isn't used to life under the sea, and fails to realize that projectiles move much slower in a volume of water. The sand quickly dissipates before it ever gets anywhere near the sea serpent's eyes, and the coral dagger impacts it with so little force so as to be almost unnoticeable.
Or at least, it would have been unnoticeable, if it hadn't hit him in the forehead, thus further intensifying his hangover-induced migraine and sending him into a blinding rage. Perhaps the running thing is the best way to go, X'o'Lore thinks to himself, and he does so. He swims back toward the signpost, hoping to find his way to the cave it mentioned for refuge.
However, in the confusion, he forgot which way the signpost was! Instead, he swims as fast as he can in a general away-from-the-sea-serpent direction. Though the merman blood coursing through his veins seems to give him the ability to swim much faster than a normal human, the sea serpent is giving chase, and will probably overtake him soon unless he comes up with a course of action. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a brightly-colored tropical fish. Although it does not speak, it seems to beckon to him in some barely-perceptible manner, urging him to follow it. This is probably more of that half-merman crap, he surmises. He is uncertain whether to trust the fish, knowing that he'd probably do well to find that damn cave around here. Decisions, decisions.
[size=+2]Actions[/size]
Explorers, you:
<E> at some coconuts (if someone that has one offers them)
<O> ffer some coconuts to the group (if you've got any)
<P> ull open the door-in-the-floor
<T> ake a nap
<DR> ink
Guards, you have the same general options as last round. You:
Use the <F> ishing poles to fish for food
Use the <M> uskets to shoot down some seagulls
Use the <MU> skets to shoot at some fish
Use the <FI> shing poles to catch some seagulls
<DR> ink
illithid235, you:
<P> ull on the line
<L> et the fish go and wait for a larger catch
<DR> ink
X'o'Lore, you:
<F> ollow the tropical fish
<M> ove on in a continuing search for refuge
<DR> ink (like now is an appropriate time!)
[size=+2]Status At End Of Turn[/size]
In my stupor after hitting the coconut I decide that I might be able to drown my pain from hit and fall in alcohol ((rhyme)). Entirely forgetting that this might not be easy as a seagull and that a hangover from just one cup of ale could be much worse in a seagull body. It's not like I can carry coconuts or help pulling the door open anyways, being a bird an' all. I <Dr>ink obviously.
After my delerious attempt at a coup d'etat, the other sailors tell me that I shoul d maybe get some rest. After about 5 minutes of refusing, they say I can do it the easy way, or the hard way. Then someone hits me over the head with a coconut and says "The easy way". Guess I'm <T>aking a nap.
After thumbing through his copying of the "Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster," giving him a +5 Propoganda bonus, or, atleast, he thinks it does, he staggers around in his room for awhile, really quite dazed. Bringing another much unneeded pint of ale to his lips, he makes his way over to his closet, pulling out a napkin with a big X scribbled on it in crayon, and eyepatch which he puts over his eye, and a pirate hat which he puts on backwards. Upon enjoying his DRink, he takes out his rifle, and runs frantically to the edge of the ship. He lets out a furious "YARRRRR" and falls over the edge of the ship.
Hlavco decides that the best way to get out of having to lug the shovels back to the ship later on would be to make nice with the rest of the crew. Leaving his coc<O>nuts behind for the others like some glorious coconut buffet, he goes over to hel<P> with the door and compliment deku12345 on the perfectly ascending numbers in his sailor's nickname.
At first I am a bit disappointed with the probable size of the catch, but then it dawns on me that this could in fact be the legendary Golden Fish of Kaerbannog, for which I have been searching all of my adult life. The legends I've heard of this fish state that it speaks to the catcher all of the truths of life, the universe, and everything, and that its scales, which regenerate almost immediately when plucked, are made of solid gold. The fish is not big, but it's rare, and considering the strength of the tug, this just might be the day I've been waiting for. I <p>ull in the fish with all the skill and finesse I can muster, hoping that my intoxication will decrease, or at least refrain from hindering me in any way.
EDIT: ((By the way mario, this is great fun, I'm quite impressed how deep you're getting into this. Keep it up.))
Fortunately for Takeru, he gets knocked out before Geoko summons his familiar to teach Tak a lesson about the only real law of real estate: don't mess with a friggin mage. That being dealt with, he debates making himself a cocktail with one of hlavco's coconuts, when he realizes that there could be anything behind that door, there might even be coconut cocktails! So he too runs over to pull on the door. <<STR check, 1d20 (16) + STR bonus (0) = 16>>
((EDIT: oh, and I believe you can issue "Mario Points" despite their lack of impact on the game, Mr. DM. and "location location location" my arse.))
Agentcel decides become a gaurd and use the <M> uskets to shoot down some seagulls. For food. Because apparently all of the sailors did not start out with food to begin with, or else there'd be food on the ship. Agentcel successfully fires down a seagull, from his days back in CIA training. "WTF?", you ask? And so it is told.
Agentcel was a great man, always plying with random government officials and whatnot. He always wanted to be in the government society of intelegence, although he thought that using the words "government" and "intelegence" in the same sentence was a paradox.
He worked hard, and trained his mind and body extremely hard. He knew that he had to have guts to get into this particualar organization.
What attracted him to the government organization? Well, it did have a nice ".gov" at the end of its website.
On March 23, 2006, exactly one year ago now, he applied for a training session. He got in, and was sent to training camp. The training camp, however, was extrmely difficult. Did he fail? No. He pased with flying colors. Yet, they wouldn't let him through. The CIA was apparrently run by....
XBOX FANBOYS. As soon as they saw Agentcel's perler bead crafts of Link, they immediately dismissed him as gay.
Being the fatheads they were, they also assumed all sailors to be gay, as they are a bunch of men yelling "all hands on deck". So they henceforth banished Agentcel to be a sailor of all time.
Slick decides to fish for seagulls with the <FI>shing rod, having poor sucess until one flies overhead in an attempt to turd on Slick, and is snagged by a fishing hook. the seagull may or may not be NoLonger.
Slick also <D>rinks.
((props on the backstory, Agentcel. Now, the story of Geoko the mage:
Geoko was born on the farm and grew pushing plows around and cattle over. He quickly realized that manual labor was not for him, and he'd have to learn someway to use his powers of persuasion (CHA 19) to get his work done. Fueled by this desire, he began to study the ways of magic. As he learned the ways of scorcery, he decided he would need more formal training and became an apprentice. He was not the only apprentice though, he had a fellow apprentice named Oiram. Oiram was a squeely, uppity little punk, but the master favored him regardless. This made Geoko quite jealous and they quickly became bitter rivals. With the death of their master due to eating one too many deep-fried, ground bacon burger burritos, their rivalry grew out of control. Oiram finally challenged Geoko to a magical duel to see who could stay on the continent and who had to go. Oiram, being the dirty bastard he is, saw to it that Geoko was drugged during the battle and he suffered a humiliating loss. Banished from his homeland and thinking himself to be a failure of a scorcerer, Geoko joined the ranks of a group of rough and tumble sailors, the extent of his powers not even known to himself. However, the life of a rugged sailor combined with depression turned him to alcoholism (as had most of the crew) and this kept his powers repressed. He travels with not but the clothes on his back, a few scrolls from his master along with a few blank ones he's working on, a vial of earth from his farm as a memento, and a flask that never seems to quite become empty which he insists is filled with water and refuses to share.))
Not about to let something like metal stop my impending visit to China, I <P> ull open the door-in-the-floor with the help of Hlavco and Geoko. I also thank Hlavco for the compliment and in turn make one on the strikethrough in his nickname.
// Sure, why not? MrCheeze's story:
// Once there was a pie.
// A muffin ate the pie.
// Then I was born.
// And ate that muffin.
// Which was unfortunately radioactive.
// And so I got the powers of 3.14159 muffins put together.
// Then I decided to go to a hotel - or at least I thought so.
// It was actually a ship.
((Backstory: Hlavco liked to draw cute little animals. This got him nowhere in life, so he decided to turn to the seas. He was unnaturally talented at weighing the anchor.))
Well, It's hard to decide what to do beyond run from the serpent at the momonet. I struggle to consider for a bit but quickly realize that the shiny fish has been compelling me all this time anyway so I might as well stick with it and keep following the fish. Maybe if I turn away after a bit the serpent will keep following the fish instead of me. If something doesn't come up soon, it'll be all I can do or I'll be sitting in the belly of that beast along with all that other ale. It's probably the same as the cheap ale the other sailors drink anyway.
((Extra story:I've never been able to stomache that stuff and have always needed to purchase my own private stock, which with my pitiful sailor's pay tends to run dry before everybody else's. I guess by that standard I can't sink as low as my father who was rarely not drunk to my memory. He'd spend his days complaining about my "whore" of a mother who had left him and saddled him with me. Still on the rare occasions that he was sober he had a much more loving and longing attitude about her. I never did get the story behind that. Needless to say some things are starting to make sense just now, including why I was drawn to the seas [aside from it being a way to escape the wrath of a drunken father]))
I purposely avoid the ship so as not to be caught. Though it wouldn't be to hard to avoid the fishing hooks. I decide that although swimming as a bird really isn't my forte at this point, that a nice relexing dip in the coconut would be nice. After swimming I go bug hunting, but not before <Dr>inking of course.
Backstory time!!!: Once I wasn't, then I popped into existence above a ship that was being attacked... By a sea serpent!!! I was then blown to bits and eaten by seagulls after the defeat of the sea serpent. Then I decided that "Meh, the light sucks," and pushed the soul out of a seagull to live once more. Then I got kinda drunk and some other stuff happened.
I want to be an explorer. I suppose for now, I’ll take a <n>ap. While comfortably lying on the warm sandy beach shore, I wistfully dream about how much I would enjoy <cl>imbing the coconut tree to get a better feel for my surroundings.
As I was with the exploring party the whole time I decide to aid in <p>ulling the door open, in doing this I resume the previously forgotten quest for fly honies[Sp?], hoping that I might find some below the door.
Comments
Edit: ((Wait a minute, if I'm a bird that means I can't say anything but *cheap chirp* without breaking my beak? I will gain telepathy by doing pointless excercises that should yeild no significant results yet somehow do. They do that in manga and anime all the time, so it should work in an NES game the same way.))
[size=+3]Episode 1, Turn 6[/size]
[size=+2]Groups[/size]
[size=+1]The Explorers[/size]
Before anyone can make a decision as to their next course of action, Takeru suddenly steps forward and proclaims himself the owner of the rock island. He starts laying claim to the tree, the coconuts, the "X", the sand, and by merit of their relative proximity, the Sun and the sky. He immediately demands that the other Explorers pay property taxes for the privilege of staying at his property. The alcohol combined with the heat of the Sun's rays has clearly made him a bit delirious, and the other sailors agree that the best thing to do is to get him some food and water so he can come to his senses, and maybe be a little less crazy.
He's not the only one affected. MrCheeze takes a big gulp of the ale and proclaims it to be coconut juice, followed by some babbling about experience points. ((How would he drink coconut juice if he didn't climb the tree to get a coconut first? Damned if I know.))
hlavco, after recovering from an embarrassing slip-and-fall on a particularly slimy rock (and dropping his shovels in the process), volunteers to climb the tree and fetch some coconuts. Amoeba Boy, always eager to create competition, climbs the tree as well in an effort to reach the top before hlavco. NoLonger tries his best to help and flies up to a coconut (technically winning the race to the top), but forgets to slow down and crashes into it, sending both the coconut and himself falling to the ground below. Luckily, MrCheeze breaks both of their falls, but is too drunk to notice the sizable bump on his head. Amoeba Boy and hlavco agree that this was awesome, and concede the race to NoLonger before grabbing a handful of coconuts apiece and descending the tree to rejoin the party.
deku12345, in all likelihood still a bit tipsy (a common enough theme amongst this crew), is suddenly taken with an urge to visit China, and determines that a hole in the sand is the best way to accomplish this feat. He grabs one of hlavco's shovels and quickly goes to work on the "X" spot. He doesn't have to dig far before his shovel makes contact with a hard piece of metal. Moving the rest of the sand out of the way with his hands, he finds that the metallic object is a large cast-iron door embedded in the rock. It does not appear to be locked, and a round ring handle is visible. He tugs on the handle as hard as he can in an effort to remove the only discernible barrier between him and China, but it feels too heavy for him to move on his own. If three or more explorers work together, they should be able to get it open, and see.... well, whatever there is to see.
---
[size=+1]The Guards[/size]
Life is easygoing back on the ship. A few of the guards decide to get back to some important drinking they've been meaning to catch up on. rightclickscott starts ranting about his secret life as a pirate, making it perfectly clear just how drunk he is. He tries to fumble with a musket to target one of the seagulls, but can hardly hold it straight, and quickly collapses to the deck after missing several times and losing his balance. ((Guess that's what he gets for trying to choose more than one action in his condition.))
illithid235 grabs one of Agentcel's fishing poles, hoping to snag a fish. Apparently he's got a thing for shiny fish. He drops the hook-and-bait into the water and waits patiently for a bite. In an outcome completely unlike the average fishing experience, a fish bites onto the hook and begins to tug! In his excitement, he almost drops his fishin' pole, but then decides against it. The tugging isn't quite as powerful as he would have preferred, and he figures the fish can't be all that big if it's putting up this weak of a fight. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and not just in the "potential dates" sense of the phrase. There are real fish too.
The other guards and overly-drunk sailors haven't done anything yet, so the same options as before apply. I hear drinking is nice this time of year.
---
[size=+1]X'o'Lore[/size]
Understandably frightened at the sight of the sober monster, X'o'Lore attempts to do everything at once, turning tail and fleeing while kicking some sand into the water while tossing back the coral dagger. He probably screams like a little girl too, or at least the bubbly equivalent. However, it's clear that he isn't used to life under the sea, and fails to realize that projectiles move much slower in a volume of water. The sand quickly dissipates before it ever gets anywhere near the sea serpent's eyes, and the coral dagger impacts it with so little force so as to be almost unnoticeable.
Or at least, it would have been unnoticeable, if it hadn't hit him in the forehead, thus further intensifying his hangover-induced migraine and sending him into a blinding rage. Perhaps the running thing is the best way to go, X'o'Lore thinks to himself, and he does so. He swims back toward the signpost, hoping to find his way to the cave it mentioned for refuge.
However, in the confusion, he forgot which way the signpost was! Instead, he swims as fast as he can in a general away-from-the-sea-serpent direction. Though the merman blood coursing through his veins seems to give him the ability to swim much faster than a normal human, the sea serpent is giving chase, and will probably overtake him soon unless he comes up with a course of action. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a brightly-colored tropical fish. Although it does not speak, it seems to beckon to him in some barely-perceptible manner, urging him to follow it. This is probably more of that half-merman crap, he surmises. He is uncertain whether to trust the fish, knowing that he'd probably do well to find that damn cave around here. Decisions, decisions.
[size=+2]Actions[/size]
Explorers, you:
<E> at some coconuts (if someone that has one offers them)
<O> ffer some coconuts to the group (if you've got any)
<P> ull open the door-in-the-floor
<T> ake a nap
<DR> ink
Guards, you have the same general options as last round. You:
Use the <F> ishing poles to fish for food
Use the <M> uskets to shoot down some seagulls
Use the <MU> skets to shoot at some fish
Use the <FI> shing poles to catch some seagulls
<DR> ink
illithid235, you:
<P> ull on the line
<L> et the fish go and wait for a larger catch
<DR> ink
X'o'Lore, you:
<F> ollow the tropical fish
<M> ove on in a continuing search for refuge
<DR> ink (like now is an appropriate time!)
[size=+2]Status At End Of Turn[/size]
Agentcel (Sailor) (equipment: none) {BAC: .024}
Amoeba Boy (Explorer, Sailor) (equipment: coconuts) {BAC: .024}
deku12345 (Explorer, Sailor) (equipment: shovel) {BAC: .021}
geoko (Explorer, Mage (summon familiar)) (equipment: none) {BAC: .051}
hlavco (Explorer, Sailor) (equipment: coconuts) {BAC: .018}
illithid235 (Guard, Sailor) (equipment: fishing pole) {BAC: .03}
Mish42 (Guard, Sailor) (equipment: none) {BAC: .027}
MrCheeze (Explorer, Sailor) (equipment: none) {BAC: .03}
NoLonger (Explorer, Seagull (flight; animal speech; no actions requiring thumbs)) (equipment: none) {BAC: 0}
rightclickscott (Guard, Sailor) (equipment: none) {BAC: .057}
Slick (Sailor) (equipment: none) {BAC: .051}
Takeru (Explorer, Sailor) (equipment: none) {BAC: .018}
X'o'Lore (Sailor, Half-merman (can breathe underwater)) (equipment: none) {BAC: .018}
Ace76 is struck down by a freak lightning bolt.
Ace76 is dead.
After thumbing through his copying of the "Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster," giving him a +5 Propoganda bonus, or, atleast, he thinks it does, he staggers around in his room for awhile, really quite dazed. Bringing another much unneeded pint of ale to his lips, he makes his way over to his closet, pulling out a napkin with a big X scribbled on it in crayon, and eyepatch which he puts over his eye, and a pirate hat which he puts on backwards. Upon enjoying his DRink, he takes out his rifle, and runs frantically to the edge of the ship. He lets out a furious "YARRRRR" and falls over the edge of the ship.
EDIT: ((By the way mario, this is great fun, I'm quite impressed how deep you're getting into this. Keep it up.))
((EDIT: oh, and I believe you can issue "Mario Points" despite their lack of impact on the game, Mr. DM. and "location location location" my arse.))
Agentcel was a great man, always plying with random government officials and whatnot. He always wanted to be in the government society of intelegence, although he thought that using the words "government" and "intelegence" in the same sentence was a paradox.
He worked hard, and trained his mind and body extremely hard. He knew that he had to have guts to get into this particualar organization.
What attracted him to the government organization? Well, it did have a nice ".gov" at the end of its website.
On March 23, 2006, exactly one year ago now, he applied for a training session. He got in, and was sent to training camp. The training camp, however, was extrmely difficult. Did he fail? No. He pased with flying colors. Yet, they wouldn't let him through. The CIA was apparrently run by....
XBOX FANBOYS. As soon as they saw Agentcel's perler bead crafts of Link, they immediately dismissed him as gay.
Being the fatheads they were, they also assumed all sailors to be gay, as they are a bunch of men yelling "all hands on deck". So they henceforth banished Agentcel to be a sailor of all time.
And that's his story.
WEAPON: OLD PISTOL FROM CIA
Oh well. <E>at the knocked-down coconut, and <T>ake nap. On the floor-door.
Slick also <D>rinks.
Geoko was born on the farm and grew pushing plows around and cattle over. He quickly realized that manual labor was not for him, and he'd have to learn someway to use his powers of persuasion (CHA 19) to get his work done. Fueled by this desire, he began to study the ways of magic. As he learned the ways of scorcery, he decided he would need more formal training and became an apprentice. He was not the only apprentice though, he had a fellow apprentice named Oiram. Oiram was a squeely, uppity little punk, but the master favored him regardless. This made Geoko quite jealous and they quickly became bitter rivals. With the death of their master due to eating one too many deep-fried, ground bacon burger burritos, their rivalry grew out of control. Oiram finally challenged Geoko to a magical duel to see who could stay on the continent and who had to go. Oiram, being the dirty bastard he is, saw to it that Geoko was drugged during the battle and he suffered a humiliating loss. Banished from his homeland and thinking himself to be a failure of a scorcerer, Geoko joined the ranks of a group of rough and tumble sailors, the extent of his powers not even known to himself. However, the life of a rugged sailor combined with depression turned him to alcoholism (as had most of the crew) and this kept his powers repressed. He travels with not but the clothes on his back, a few scrolls from his master along with a few blank ones he's working on, a vial of earth from his farm as a memento, and a flask that never seems to quite become empty which he insists is filled with water and refuses to share.))
// Once there was a pie.
// A muffin ate the pie.
// Then I was born.
// And ate that muffin.
// Which was unfortunately radioactive.
// And so I got the powers of 3.14159 muffins put together.
// Then I decided to go to a hotel - or at least I thought so.
// It was actually a ship.
I think I could make a coconut fish curry if someone offers me a coconut.
I'll get you some next round
((Extra story:I've never been able to stomache that stuff and have always needed to purchase my own private stock, which with my pitiful sailor's pay tends to run dry before everybody else's. I guess by that standard I can't sink as low as my father who was rarely not drunk to my memory. He'd spend his days complaining about my "whore" of a mother who had left him and saddled him with me. Still on the rare occasions that he was sober he had a much more loving and longing attitude about her. I never did get the story behind that. Needless to say some things are starting to make sense just now, including why I was drawn to the seas [aside from it being a way to escape the wrath of a drunken father]))
Backstory time!!!: Once I wasn't, then I popped into existence above a ship that was being attacked... By a sea serpent!!! I was then blown to bits and eaten by seagulls after the defeat of the sea serpent. Then I decided that "Meh, the light sucks," and pushed the soul out of a seagull to live once more. Then I got kinda drunk and some other stuff happened.
The End.
[P]ull!