A joke!

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Comments

  • Amoeba BoyAmoeba Boy
    edited March 2006
    What's brown and sticky?




    A stick.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    ok, ok...
    A lady went into a butcher shop complaining about some hot dogs she had just bought. "The middle is meat," she exclaimed, "but the ends are sawdust!" "Well," said the butcher. "These days it's hard to make ends meat."
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited March 2006
    A local orhcestra was conducting Beethoven's 9th symphony. In it, the basses had a very, very long rest in which they do nothing. So, during this time, they took to drinking some liquor. Shortly thereafter, and while still during the rest, they snuck around to some other people's music and began tying some of the notes together.

    It was at this point that the conductor got furious.

    "Damnit! It's the bottom of the 9th, the scores are tied, and the basses are loaded!"
  • KhanFusionKhanFusion
    edited March 2006
    Everyone knows a little something about Ghandi. For instance, he was an ascetic - a priest, of sorts - who would spend hours a day in meditation. And of course, part of being an ascetic meant that he would walk miles without any shoes, making the soles of his feet extremely calloused. Additionally, his rigorous and punishing daily regimen would leave him with a bad back and very weakened joints. And finally, his lifestyle demanded that he be a vegetarian... in India, where much of the vegetarian diets would leave people with extremely bad breath.

    So what did this make Ghandi? Why, a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
  • hlavcohlavco
    edited March 2006
    ha ha. These are good puns.
  • KhanFusionKhanFusion
    edited March 2006
    Of course, we probably made Stef implode....
  • ApathyApathy
    edited March 2006
    Her head is probably a giant callous now from all of the head-exploding/imploding she's suffered due to punning.
  • X'o'LoreX'o'Lore
    edited March 2006
    I've noted that Stef has not posted in here. She probably avoids this thread like the plague.
  • LangLang
    edited March 2006
    I enjoy this punnery!
  • BehemothBehemoth
    edited March 2006
    Yeah, these jokes are quite punny.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two raccoon carcases. the flight attendant stopped them, and said "sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
  • SerephelSerephel
    edited March 2006
    A cop pulls a car over and is astonished to see Heisenberg behind the wheel. "Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?" Heisbenberg replies, "Yes, but I have no idea where I am!"

    (stolen from www.bobandgeorge.com)
  • FangédFaerieFangédFaerie
    edited March 2006
    Two atoms are talking to each other, and one says:
    "Hey, I heard you lost an electron. How do you feel?"
    "I feel fine. Never better."
    "Are you sure?"
    "I'm positive."
  • Drooling IguanaDrooling Iguana
    edited March 2006
    If it's lost an electron, it's no longer an atom. It's an ion.
  • CytrollCytroll
    edited March 2006
    A cation to be more precise.
  • FangédFaerieFangédFaerie
    edited March 2006
    The fact that they're talking doesn't bother you, but the difference between atoms and ions bugs you?

    Meh.
  • ApathyApathy
    edited March 2006
    Of course. Atoms and such talk all the time, they're just really, really quiet because they're so tiny.
  • kukopankikukopanki
    edited March 2006
    You couldn't see them even if you squinted.
  • SilverwardSilverward
    edited March 2006
    But what if I try really, really hard?
  • kukopankikukopanki
    edited March 2006
    Sorry, no. Maybe if a midget squinted though.. or an ant.
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    i bet verne troyer could see them when he was a baby.
  • KhanFusionKhanFusion
    edited March 2006
    "Dude, maybe we're like, atoms... in some other universe made up of really big dudes! And holy shit, we talk to each other all the time! That could easily mean that the things we think are atoms are really just tiny people, talking to each other!!"


    "Man, I could go for some Jack in the Box right now. You driving?"
  • Unrelated NewsUnrelated News
    edited March 2006
    Wasn’t that the beginning of some Disney movie?
  • KhanFusionKhanFusion
    edited March 2006
    An oldie but goodie..
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    how did i never see that anywhere before?
  • brucebruce
    edited March 2006
    Back to the punnery:

    In Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, a load of people bitch about Zaphod Beeblebrox, but thats not fair, to be quite honest, hes got a heart of gold!
  • godgod
    edited March 2006
    ...
    i dont get it
  • ApathyApathy
    edited March 2006
    The ship he stole is called the Heart of Gold.

    However the pun doesn't really work, because it isn't a heart of gold; it's the heart of gold.
  • brucebruce
    edited March 2006
    I know its THE heart of gold, but you gotta leave some creative license.


    Pedantic little man
  • Drooling IguanaDrooling Iguana
    edited March 2006
    Still better than what passed for jokes in the movie, though.

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