Azrodal says:
Uh huh...and how does not being bothered make you feel?
KayC says:
apathetic
Azrodal says:
And how does being apathetic make you feel?
(Apathetic mayhaps?)
KayC says:
NICE.
how'd you know?!
Azrodal says:
I'm a master of phycology. I even managed to spell it correctly BEFORE I went and checked the spelling.
No wait.
Maybe not.
Hold on.
KayC says:
lmao
xD
Azrodal says:
Nope, I saw that it was infact a word and assumed it was what I ment it was.
KayC says:
haha
Azrodal says:
Phycology is the scientific study of algae
I totally could be a master of that too though.
KayC says:
lmao.
nice.
Azrodal says:
Because I'm a genius and can master two things at once ya see.
Azrodal says:
Not spelling though.
KayC says:
LOL
LeperKhanKnew 7:24 pm: oh man, an old buddy of mine had a bachelor party this past weekend
: so we ended up at a couple of strip clubs
Joey133061 7:24 pm : Lol, really?
LeperKhanKnew 7:24 pm: one of the chicks at the gold club (server, not dancer) is in my organics class
Joey133061 7:25 pm: XD
LeperKhanKnew 7:25 pm : she looked like an elf at the club, and since she looked familiar, I was like "hey, check out that elf!"
: and I confirmed she's in my class
Joey133061 7:25 pm : why did she look like an elf?
: JT might be offended by your answer
LeperKhanKnew 7:26 pm : she wore her hair kinda weird, and it made her ears stick out like an elf/vulcan, plus she's really short
Joey133061 7:26 pm : Lol, thats kind of mean dude haha
LeperKhanKnew 7:28 : well, I meant it in a hot way
: cause she is hot
: otherwise she probably wouldn't be working at the gold club
Joey133061 7:29 pm : lol, you chat her up
: Holla holla holla holla holla holla holla holla
LeperKhanKnew 7:29 pm : lol
: I already know my opening line
Joey133061 7:29 pm : Go big Nap on her
LeperKhanKnew 7:29 pm : "hey, you work at the titty bar!"
Joey133061 7:30 pm : Baby, Im a twelfth level Paladin, want to hop on my Holy Rod of Smiting?
LeperKhanKnew 7:30 pm : heh
( : not too bad
Joey133061 7:30 pm : Gets 'em every time
LeperKhanKnew 7:31 pm : more like "baby, you must have a +2 bonus to dexterity, cause you because you been doing cartwheels in my mind all DAY"
Joey133061 7:31 pm : Elves do, right? <.<;
LeperKhanKnew 7:32 pm : or "baby, you must have an inherent weapon proficiency with longbows, cause you just shot an arrow through my heart!"
Joey133061 7:32 pm : Baby, Im rolling God's Love against your Better Judgement to seduce you.
Bruce says:
I should rewrite shakespeare
BLOW YOU SON OF A BITCH BLOW!
Daggison Seabound says:
Lo, is this a fish i see before me?
Hark, a haddock!
Bruce says:
To bee or not to bee. SHIT! BEES!
Daggison Seabound says:
IM COVERED IN THEM
2 BE OR NOT 2 BE– DAT IZ TEH QUESHUN:
WHETHR TIS NOBLR IN DA MIND 2 SUFFR
TEH SLINGS AN ARROWS OV OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE,
OR 2 TAEK ARMS AGAINST SEA OV TROUBLEZ
AN, BY OPPOSIN, END THEM. 2 DYE, 2 SLEEP
NO MOAR – AN BY SLEEP 2 SAY WE END
TEH HEARTACHE AN TEH THOUSAND NACHURAL SHOCKZ
DAT FLESH IZ HEIR 2 – ‘TIS CONSUMMASHUN
DEVOUTLY 2 BE WISHD. 2 DYE, 2 SLEEP
2 SLEEP, PERCHANCE 2 DREAM. AY, THARS TEH RUB,
4 IN DAT SLEEP OV DEATH WUT DREAMS CUD COME,
WHEN WE HAS SHUFFLD OFF DIS MORTAL COIL,
MUST GIV US PAUSE. THARS TEH RESPECT
DAT MAKEZ CALAMITY OV SO LONG LIFE.
4 HOO WUD BEAR TEH WHIPS AN SCORNS OV TIEM,
TH’ OPPRESORS WRONG, TEH PROUD MANZ CONTUMELY,
TEH PANGS OV DISPRIZD LUV, TEH LAWS DELAY,
TEH INSOLENCE OV OFFICE, AN TEH SPURNS
DAT PATIENT MERIT OV TH’ UNWORTHY TAKEZ,
WHEN HE HIM MITE HIS QUIETUS MAK
WIF BARE BODKIN? HOO WUD FARDELS BEAR,
2 GRUNT AN SWEAT UNDR WEARY LIFE,
BUT DAT TEH DREAD OV SOMETHIN AFTR DEATH,
TEH UNDISCOVERD COUNTRY FRUM WHOSE BOURN
NO TRAVELLR RETURNS, PUZZLEZ TEH WILL
AN MAKEZ US RATHR BEAR DOSE ILLS WE HAS
THAN FLY 2 OTHERS DAT WE KNOE NOT OV?
THUS CONSCIENCE DOTH MAK COWARDZ OV US ALL,
AN THUS TEH NATIV HUE OV RESOLUSHUN
IZ SICKLID OER WIF TEH PALE CAST OV THOT,
AN ENTERPRISEZ OV GREAT PITH AN MOMENT
WIF DIS REGARD THEIR CURRENTS TURN AWRY,
AN LOSE TEH NAYM OV ACSHUN.—SOFT U NAO!
TEH FAIR OFELIA! NYMF, IN THY ORISONS
BE ALL MAH SINS REMEMBERD.
(1:31:26 AM) Me: Do this instead
(1:31:27 AM) Me: http://www.fitwatch.com/phpscripts/viewexercise.php?descr=sexual%20activity,%20vigorous&mets=1.5
(1:31:46 AM) Ryan: I'd say so
(1:32:15 AM) Me: oh shit, that's like no exercise at all
(1:32:21 AM) Ryan: It isn't
(1:32:28 AM) Ryan: And you have to cuddle afterwards
(1:32:30 AM) Ryan: Fuck that noise
(1:32:31 AM) Me: gotta sex for like, 5 hours
(1:33:04 AM) Ryan: For 30 seconds of pure ecstacy, I burn one calorie
(1:33:06 AM) Ryan: One.
(1:33:17 AM) Me: lol!
(1:33:52 AM) Ryan: I think it really depends on what you're doing
(1:33:55 AM) Me: yeah
(1:34:04 AM) Ryan: If you're lying down with her on top, then yeah you're not burning much
(1:34:40 AM) Ryan: But if you have to spend energy forcing her to the ground, restraining her legs, and keeping a firm grip over her mouth to keep her from screaming, then yeah you'll probably burn more calories
You: JESUS!
Stranger: MARY!
You: Joeseph?
Stranger: yes!
You: DADDY!
You: I found you
Stranger: finally
Stranger: its been so long
You: it sure has
Stranger: how have you been my child
You: I'm ok
You: it's been rugh
Stranger: well now we are back together
Stranger: so it will be better
You: yeah, we'll never leave each other again
Stranger: never
You: hey, Dad. Wanna go build a shed together?
You: I always wanted to do that
Stranger: yeah definitely
You: oh boy!
Stranger: how about a tree house?
You: huh!
You: can we really?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ill meet you
You: wow, you're the best dad ever
Stranger: you bring the heroine and ill bring the coke
You: my otehr dad isn't this nice
Stranger: oh wait wrong chat
You: that's ok, i forgive you
Stranger: anything for you son
Stranger: bahahahah
Stranger: for real though
Stranger: whats upp?
You: the sky
Stranger: hell yeah
You: no, hell's lower
Stranger: true story
Stranger: earths right in between?
You: it's a bit to the side, too
Stranger: yeah
You: it's tricky ojce you get past 4 dimensions
Stranger: yeha that fifth is a doozy
You: it's lots of fun though
Stranger: yeah 5 is my favorit ei think
You: mine too
You: Dad likes to hang out in the 20th
Stranger: weirdo
You: he doesn't like people knowing where he is
Stranger: well now i know
Stranger: thanks to you
You: yay, im helping
Stranger: dont worry i wont tell him how i found out
You: it's ok, you can't find him there anyway
Stranger: alrightttt.......
You: it's a very tricky dimension
Stranger: youre forgetting who you are talking to
You: I may have
You: I have a little brain damage since teh accident
Stranger: you definitely have
Stranger: oh i forgot about the accident
You: yeah, they tell me it was bad
Stranger: yeah thank goodness you are alive
You: yeah, thank Dad for that
Stranger: when i find him i will
You: I still don't know how a cross with nails could have just fallen out of the sky and landed on me. but those Roamn soldiers seem so nice, i have to believe them
Stranger: yeah they are still trying to figure the whole thing out
Stranger: your mother was devistatd
You: oh, poor mom
You: I haven't seen her since
Stranger: she has been in hiding
You: oh no, why?
Stranger: affraid of the falling crosses
You: oh
You: she must be in a cave
Stranger: mhm she is
You: like the hospital cave they put me in
You: it didn't look like a hospital
Stranger: yeh pretty much the same
You: but i got better in it, so it must have been
Stranger: yeah they took you away and didnt tell us
Stranger: so i hope it was a hospital
You: they said the paperwork got lost
Stranger: rough
Stranger: at least you dont need to pay bills (posted at the same time)
You: yeah, the bills were a killer too (posted at the same time)
Stranger: lol
Omegle has some weird voyeuristic thingy now. You get to chat with a question.
Question to discuss:
What should you be doing instead of this?
Stranger: Sleeping.
You: getting anotehr beer
Stranger: also a good answer.
You: I like it
You: when teh beer's gone, then it's sleep time
Stranger: Fair enough. I find that there are few problems that can't be solved by having another beer.
You: hmmmmmm
You: I'm trying to think for an exception
You: I think you're on to something
Stranger: Yeah, I think so. I guess if the problem is that you're too drunk, but I think ianother beer can at least help avoid caring about that problem.
You: what if...... You ran out of toothpaste?
Stranger: "My breath doesn't smell bad, I just drank some beer"
You: forgot to buy gorceries?
Stranger: If you're drunk, it's pretty easy not to care.
You: omg
You: stuck in a cabin on top of a snow-covered mountain with a polar bear and trained penguin?
Stranger: Is the polar bear also trained?
You: no
Stranger: Is the penguin trained to kill polar bears?
You: he can try
Stranger: Then have a beer while watching the amazing battle between a penguin and a polar bear.
You: well, it hink that about settles it
You: Beer is teh answer
Stranger: It is, regardless of the question.
You: quite profound, my friend
Stranger: Thank you, thank you. I'd never realized what important a role beer plays in this world.
You: indeed
You: now that we know, we must spread this knowledge
You: quckly, to the UN!
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: World leaders must be informed.
You: Call Germany! Tell them to bring all the beer they can find
Stranger: Hah, I'd be willing to bet that germany had this revelation a while ago.
You: Those selfish bastards
Stranger: Just like them to keep it a secret.
You: what about the Irish?
Stranger: Oh, I think the Irish have raised it to the level of an art.
Stranger: Maybe even a science.
You: BRILLIANT!
Stranger: Shit, I have to go. Good talking to you, friend. I will spread the word around my city.
You: you too
You: bye
You: I shall do my part as well
Stranger: good good, we need to get the word out there.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
takeru126: I've got 2 prospects for programming line dup takeru126: I'm confident I'll have a job within a few months drfaustuslives: ooh, science-y! takeru126: It's billing data entry takeru126: any and all SCIENCE! was lost as soon as Leon filed the paperwork takeru126: Although, Leon's actual first name is Merlin takeru126: so...there's a bit of MAGIC! drfaustuslives: well, you've shattered all my expectations takeru126: I've worked there for 4 years now drfaustuslives: you hear the dusty trail calling? takeru126: Yeah, but I don't know how to mosey takeru126: I was thinking about taking a class at the Y drfaustuslives: the only thing you'll learn about there is shower rape takeru126: Why? Is Jerry Sandusky a teacher there? takeru126: OHH SNAP drfaustuslives: OCCUPY BURN STREET takeru126: HE IS THE 99 BURN-CENT
(12:02:12 PM) Ryan: This one little kid ran up to a girl a few years older than him and just went to town on her ass
(12:02:17 PM) Ryan: RAM RAM RAM
(12:02:45 PM) Ryan: She just pushed him away, slightly irritated, as you would push away someone who was just bothering you.
(12:02:54 PM) Ryan: Not forcefully trying to jam his fingers up your ass.
(12:03:03 PM) Ryan: She shrugged it off and went on with her evening
drfaustuslives how goes it
Bruce Pretty good, cheers. Yourself?
drfaustuslives not bad, might have a line on a new church music gig
drfaustuslives Methodist this time
Bruce You hussy
drfaustuslives well, in this business, you have to stay hep
drfaustuslives The Lutherans are old hat
drfaustuslives the only mainline protestant church in this country that isn't on the brink of death is the United Methodists
Bruce Why not go Catholic, they have the best music?
drfaustuslives I do love the liturgy, but I'm not as big a fan of the pederasty
Bruce Hmm
Bruce Isn't nearer my God to thee a methodist tune?
drfaustuslives hilariously enough, it was written by a Unitarian
drfaustuslives the lyrics anyway
Bruce The subtle nuances between the less mainstream denominations of christianity are not my speciality, so I fail to see the hilarity.
drfaustuslives this is one instance where the difference isn't subtle at all. the Unitarians deny the divinity of Christ
Bruce Erm
drfaustuslives they expound the unity of one God, hence Unitarian
Bruce ...
Bruce Huh
drfaustuslives well, it makes sense if you know what tradition they're growing out of. The Unitarians split from the Congregationalists in the 1820s. The Congregationalists, as you may know, were the successors to the Puritan churches of New England
drfaustuslives so there was a lot of baggage they were reacting against
Bruce Is the gist that they're the people Dan Brown based his characters in Da Vinci Code on?
drfaustuslives uhhh
Bruce Jesus = Awesome but ≠ God
drfaustuslives what?
drfaustuslives oh!
drfaustuslives well mostly, yes
drfaustuslives in the 1950s the Unitarians merged with the Universalist church to become the Unitarian-Universalists
drfaustuslives and soon after that they decided anything goes
drfaustuslives so now most UUs don't even claim to be Christian
drfaustuslives the UU church I visited whilst in California was primarily secular humanist, with a few neo-pagans for good measure
Bruce So they're polytheist?
drfaustuslives no, because that would suggest that they have any sort of doctrine that you have to believe in in order to join
drfaustuslives they're everything and nothing and all the inbetweens
drfaustuslives so you can understand why my contempt for them knows no bounds
drfaustuslives leftists pretending to be spiritual in order to validate their political bent
Bruce So the teenage lesbians of the theology world?
drfaustuslives YES
Bruce Now I get you!
Bruce All things are simpler when you use homosexuality as an analogy
drfaustuslives It's like Wicca for non fat chicks
Ryan says: (09:49:00)
On the Olympics page for Ireland, one of the first athlete pictures is for an Irish boxer named Paddy Barnes.
Ryan says: (09:49:07)
Irish as fuck
Bruce says: (09:49:18)
He's so Irish he shits potatoes?
Ryan says: (09:49:36)
He's so Irish he doesn't
Bruce says: (09:49:43)
…Goddamnit
And with Jakey:
(Out of nowhere)
drfaustuslives:
I was beating off last night
Bruce:
Well
Erm..
drfaustuslives:
and as I came, I suddenly got a terrible cramp in my leg
I'm afraid to try again now
Bruce:
Oh yeah, that happens
But damnit
You've put me off my spaghetti
drfaustuslives:
unless you're eating an alfredo sauce i don't know how or why that is
Bruce:
Carbonara
drfaustuslives:
mmmmm
I think I will make some, right now
bbl
Bruce:
Yeah, thanks. Dick.
drfaustuslives:
much love my Anglo brotha
Comments
Socks Mahoney: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
hlavco: nice
Uh huh...and how does not being bothered make you feel?
KayC says:
apathetic
Azrodal says:
And how does being apathetic make you feel?
(Apathetic mayhaps?)
KayC says:
NICE.
how'd you know?!
Azrodal says:
I'm a master of phycology. I even managed to spell it correctly BEFORE I went and checked the spelling.
No wait.
Maybe not.
Hold on.
KayC says:
lmao
xD
Azrodal says:
Nope, I saw that it was infact a word and assumed it was what I ment it was.
KayC says:
haha
Azrodal says:
Phycology is the scientific study of algae
I totally could be a master of that too though.
KayC says:
lmao.
nice.
Azrodal says:
Because I'm a genius and can master two things at once ya see.
Azrodal says:
Not spelling though.
KayC says:
LOL
: so we ended up at a couple of strip clubs
Joey133061 7:24 pm : Lol, really?
LeperKhanKnew 7:24 pm: one of the chicks at the gold club (server, not dancer) is in my organics class
Joey133061 7:25 pm: XD
LeperKhanKnew 7:25 pm : she looked like an elf at the club, and since she looked familiar, I was like "hey, check out that elf!"
: and I confirmed she's in my class
Joey133061 7:25 pm : why did she look like an elf?
: JT might be offended by your answer
LeperKhanKnew 7:26 pm : she wore her hair kinda weird, and it made her ears stick out like an elf/vulcan, plus she's really short
Joey133061 7:26 pm : Lol, thats kind of mean dude haha
LeperKhanKnew 7:28 : well, I meant it in a hot way
: cause she is hot
: otherwise she probably wouldn't be working at the gold club
Joey133061 7:29 pm : lol, you chat her up
: Holla holla holla holla holla holla holla holla
LeperKhanKnew 7:29 pm : lol
: I already know my opening line
Joey133061 7:29 pm : Go big Nap on her
LeperKhanKnew 7:29 pm : "hey, you work at the titty bar!"
Joey133061 7:30 pm : Baby, Im a twelfth level Paladin, want to hop on my Holy Rod of Smiting?
LeperKhanKnew 7:30 pm : heh
( : not too bad
Joey133061 7:30 pm : Gets 'em every time
LeperKhanKnew 7:31 pm : more like "baby, you must have a +2 bonus to dexterity, cause you because you been doing cartwheels in my mind all DAY"
Joey133061 7:31 pm : Elves do, right? <.<;
LeperKhanKnew 7:32 pm : or "baby, you must have an inherent weapon proficiency with longbows, cause you just shot an arrow through my heart!"
Joey133061 7:32 pm : Baby, Im rolling God's Love against your Better Judgement to seduce you.
LeperKhanKnew 7:32 pm : dammit, quit mixing gaming templates
Joey133061 7:33 pm : Then 9 other guys jump in and roll against you/eachother and it takes 6 hours for this one instance
LeperKhanKnew 7:33 pm : oh shit, lmao
: DAMN YOU GNOSTICMATTAAAAAAAAAAA
Joey133061 7:33 pm : Lol, fact
LeperKhanKnew 7:35 pm : so basically, we just compared god's love to a gangbang
Joey133061 7:35 pm : Yeah dude!
: I could find a way to justify it
LeperKhanKnew 7:36 pm : Well, you are Catholic
I think Riku would be getting turtlenecks and ponchos for birthday gifts from you
Ryan says (9:34 AM):
That or tentacle penises
I should rewrite shakespeare
BLOW YOU SON OF A BITCH BLOW!
Daggison Seabound says:
Lo, is this a fish i see before me?
Hark, a haddock!
Bruce says:
To bee or not to bee. SHIT! BEES!
Daggison Seabound says:
IM COVERED IN THEM
WHETHR TIS NOBLR IN DA MIND 2 SUFFR
TEH SLINGS AN ARROWS OV OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE,
OR 2 TAEK ARMS AGAINST SEA OV TROUBLEZ
AN, BY OPPOSIN, END THEM. 2 DYE, 2 SLEEP
NO MOAR – AN BY SLEEP 2 SAY WE END
TEH HEARTACHE AN TEH THOUSAND NACHURAL SHOCKZ
DAT FLESH IZ HEIR 2 – ‘TIS CONSUMMASHUN
DEVOUTLY 2 BE WISHD. 2 DYE, 2 SLEEP
2 SLEEP, PERCHANCE 2 DREAM. AY, THARS TEH RUB,
4 IN DAT SLEEP OV DEATH WUT DREAMS CUD COME,
WHEN WE HAS SHUFFLD OFF DIS MORTAL COIL,
MUST GIV US PAUSE. THARS TEH RESPECT
DAT MAKEZ CALAMITY OV SO LONG LIFE.
4 HOO WUD BEAR TEH WHIPS AN SCORNS OV TIEM,
TH’ OPPRESORS WRONG, TEH PROUD MANZ CONTUMELY,
TEH PANGS OV DISPRIZD LUV, TEH LAWS DELAY,
TEH INSOLENCE OV OFFICE, AN TEH SPURNS
DAT PATIENT MERIT OV TH’ UNWORTHY TAKEZ,
WHEN HE HIM MITE HIS QUIETUS MAK
WIF BARE BODKIN? HOO WUD FARDELS BEAR,
2 GRUNT AN SWEAT UNDR WEARY LIFE,
BUT DAT TEH DREAD OV SOMETHIN AFTR DEATH,
TEH UNDISCOVERD COUNTRY FRUM WHOSE BOURN
NO TRAVELLR RETURNS, PUZZLEZ TEH WILL
AN MAKEZ US RATHR BEAR DOSE ILLS WE HAS
THAN FLY 2 OTHERS DAT WE KNOE NOT OV?
THUS CONSCIENCE DOTH MAK COWARDZ OV US ALL,
AN THUS TEH NATIV HUE OV RESOLUSHUN
IZ SICKLID OER WIF TEH PALE CAST OV THOT,
AN ENTERPRISEZ OV GREAT PITH AN MOMENT
WIF DIS REGARD THEIR CURRENTS TURN AWRY,
AN LOSE TEH NAYM OV ACSHUN.—SOFT U NAO!
TEH FAIR OFELIA! NYMF, IN THY ORISONS
BE ALL MAH SINS REMEMBERD.
(1:31:27 AM) Me: http://www.fitwatch.com/phpscripts/viewexercise.php?descr=sexual%20activity,%20vigorous&mets=1.5
(1:31:46 AM) Ryan: I'd say so
(1:32:15 AM) Me: oh shit, that's like no exercise at all
(1:32:21 AM) Ryan: It isn't
(1:32:28 AM) Ryan: And you have to cuddle afterwards
(1:32:30 AM) Ryan: Fuck that noise
(1:32:31 AM) Me: gotta sex for like, 5 hours
(1:33:04 AM) Ryan: For 30 seconds of pure ecstacy, I burn one calorie
(1:33:06 AM) Ryan: One.
(1:33:17 AM) Me: lol!
(1:33:52 AM) Ryan: I think it really depends on what you're doing
(1:33:55 AM) Me: yeah
(1:34:04 AM) Ryan: If you're lying down with her on top, then yeah you're not burning much
(1:34:40 AM) Ryan: But if you have to spend energy forcing her to the ground, restraining her legs, and keeping a firm grip over her mouth to keep her from screaming, then yeah you'll probably burn more calories
You: JESUS!
Stranger: MARY!
You: Joeseph?
Stranger: yes!
You: DADDY!
You: I found you
Stranger: finally
Stranger: its been so long
You: it sure has
Stranger: how have you been my child
You: I'm ok
You: it's been rugh
Stranger: well now we are back together
Stranger: so it will be better
You: yeah, we'll never leave each other again
Stranger: never
You: hey, Dad. Wanna go build a shed together?
You: I always wanted to do that
Stranger: yeah definitely
You: oh boy!
Stranger: how about a tree house?
You: huh!
You: can we really?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ill meet you
You: wow, you're the best dad ever
Stranger: you bring the heroine and ill bring the coke
You: my otehr dad isn't this nice
Stranger: oh wait wrong chat
You: that's ok, i forgive you
Stranger: anything for you son
Stranger: bahahahah
Stranger: for real though
Stranger: whats upp?
You: the sky
Stranger: hell yeah
You: no, hell's lower
Stranger: true story
Stranger: earths right in between?
You: it's a bit to the side, too
Stranger: yeah
You: it's tricky ojce you get past 4 dimensions
Stranger: yeha that fifth is a doozy
You: it's lots of fun though
Stranger: yeah 5 is my favorit ei think
You: mine too
You: Dad likes to hang out in the 20th
Stranger: weirdo
You: he doesn't like people knowing where he is
Stranger: well now i know
Stranger: thanks to you
You: yay, im helping
Stranger: dont worry i wont tell him how i found out
You: it's ok, you can't find him there anyway
Stranger: alrightttt.......
You: it's a very tricky dimension
Stranger: youre forgetting who you are talking to
You: I may have
You: I have a little brain damage since teh accident
Stranger: you definitely have
Stranger: oh i forgot about the accident
You: yeah, they tell me it was bad
Stranger: yeah thank goodness you are alive
You: yeah, thank Dad for that
Stranger: when i find him i will
You: I still don't know how a cross with nails could have just fallen out of the sky and landed on me. but those Roamn soldiers seem so nice, i have to believe them
Stranger: yeah they are still trying to figure the whole thing out
Stranger: your mother was devistatd
You: oh, poor mom
You: I haven't seen her since
Stranger: she has been in hiding
You: oh no, why?
Stranger: affraid of the falling crosses
You: oh
You: she must be in a cave
Stranger: mhm she is
You: like the hospital cave they put me in
You: it didn't look like a hospital
Stranger: yeh pretty much the same
You: but i got better in it, so it must have been
Stranger: yeah they took you away and didnt tell us
Stranger: so i hope it was a hospital
You: they said the paperwork got lost
Stranger: rough
Stranger: at least you dont need to pay bills (posted at the same time)
You: yeah, the bills were a killer too (posted at the same time)
Stranger: lol
I am getting so hard thinking of my friend balls deep in my ass.
Question to discuss:
What should you be doing instead of this?
Stranger: Sleeping.
You: getting anotehr beer
Stranger: also a good answer.
You: I like it
You: when teh beer's gone, then it's sleep time
Stranger: Fair enough. I find that there are few problems that can't be solved by having another beer.
You: hmmmmmm
You: I'm trying to think for an exception
You: I think you're on to something
Stranger: Yeah, I think so. I guess if the problem is that you're too drunk, but I think ianother beer can at least help avoid caring about that problem.
You: what if...... You ran out of toothpaste?
Stranger: "My breath doesn't smell bad, I just drank some beer"
You: forgot to buy gorceries?
Stranger: If you're drunk, it's pretty easy not to care.
You: omg
You: stuck in a cabin on top of a snow-covered mountain with a polar bear and trained penguin?
Stranger: Is the polar bear also trained?
You: no
Stranger: Is the penguin trained to kill polar bears?
You: he can try
Stranger: Then have a beer while watching the amazing battle between a penguin and a polar bear.
You: well, it hink that about settles it
You: Beer is teh answer
Stranger: It is, regardless of the question.
You: quite profound, my friend
Stranger: Thank you, thank you. I'd never realized what important a role beer plays in this world.
You: indeed
You: now that we know, we must spread this knowledge
You: quckly, to the UN!
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: World leaders must be informed.
You: Call Germany! Tell them to bring all the beer they can find
Stranger: Hah, I'd be willing to bet that germany had this revelation a while ago.
You: Those selfish bastards
Stranger: Just like them to keep it a secret.
You: what about the Irish?
Stranger: Oh, I think the Irish have raised it to the level of an art.
Stranger: Maybe even a science.
You: BRILLIANT!
Stranger: Shit, I have to go. Good talking to you, friend. I will spread the word around my city.
You: you too
You: bye
You: I shall do my part as well
Stranger: good good, we need to get the word out there.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
he can get 10 badges in the kanto region
Mario: Gary Oak doesn't need Max Repel, he just stares at the tall grass and wills wild Pokémon to not appear
Matt: I thought he mowed the grass with his gaze
Mario: Gary Oak never used his Master Ball because the combined power would have captured the entire planet
Matt: Gary Oak has a better Ratatta than Joey
Gary Oak caught a mew under a truck, then released it because he already had 2 just like it.
Mario: Gary Oak can unlearn HMs. Without the Move Deleter.
Gary Oak killed the world's only Pikablu just to mess with rumor sites
Matt: Gary Oak thinks that non-shiny pokemon are the rare ones.
Mario: haha
Gary Oak's step count goes up in the Safari Zone
Matt:Gary Oak's Magikarp once beat Zapdos using splash
Mario: Gary Oak couldn't decide between Eevee's evolution options so he chose them all
Matt: Gary Oak ran the bicycle path. Upwards
Mario: Gary Oak never taught any of his Pokémon Surf. He just stares down the water until it freezes
Matt: But then he has to do that silly ice sliding minigame
Mario: but he also destroys countless underwater ecosystems in the process. So, you know, plus.
Matt: fucking tentacools
Mario: Gary Oak eats Tentacool sushi
Matt: Gary Oak's zubat once confuse ray'd a pokemon so hard it started speaking latin
Mario: if Gary Oak's Pokémon all faint, he doesn't black out or white out, he hulks out
Matt: What? Gary Oak is evolving!
Mario: BBBBB
Matt: Huh, Gary Oak stopped evolving
Mario: phew, close one
I don't think I want to know what would have happened
Matt: the pokedex says he evolves into Missing No.
Mario: Gary Oak doesn't need evolution stones, he makes those Pokémon evolve just like all the others: INTIMIDATION
Matt: Gary Oak can breed pokemon regardless of egg type
Mario: Gary Oak doesn't have to walk around to breed Pokémon, he just plays a lot of Barry White
Matt: Gary Oak can battle trainers without making eye contact
Mario: he makes eye contact through their skulls
Gary Oak caught so many Pokémon he had to start catching Digimon just to break the monotony
Matt: Bill sends excess pokemon to Gary Oak's PC
Mario: until it runs out of room, since it's full of Master Balls
Matt: You say that like his computer can run out of room
Mario: good point
Gary Oak's PC singlehandedly found life on other planets when he activated SETI@home
Matt: Abras teleport to Gary Oak
Mario: and finally: ever wonder where Ash's dad was?
Gary Oak.
Matt: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
takeru126: I'm confident I'll have a job within a few months
drfaustuslives: ooh, science-y!
takeru126: It's billing data entry
takeru126: any and all SCIENCE! was lost as soon as Leon filed the paperwork
takeru126: Although, Leon's actual first name is Merlin
takeru126: so...there's a bit of MAGIC!
drfaustuslives: well, you've shattered all my expectations
takeru126: I've worked there for 4 years now
drfaustuslives: you hear the dusty trail calling?
takeru126: Yeah, but I don't know how to mosey
takeru126: I was thinking about taking a class at the Y
drfaustuslives: the only thing you'll learn about there is shower rape
takeru126: Why? Is Jerry Sandusky a teacher there?
takeru126: OHH SNAP
drfaustuslives: OCCUPY BURN STREET
takeru126: HE IS THE 99 BURN-CENT
(12:02:12 PM) Ryan: This one little kid ran up to a girl a few years older than him and just went to town on her ass
(12:02:17 PM) Ryan: RAM RAM RAM
(12:02:45 PM) Ryan: She just pushed him away, slightly irritated, as you would push away someone who was just bothering you.
(12:02:54 PM) Ryan: Not forcefully trying to jam his fingers up your ass.
(12:03:03 PM) Ryan: She shrugged it off and went on with her evening
No true Englishman would behave that way
Ryan says: (10:22:46)
No true Scotsman either I wager
Bruce says: (10:22:56)
No, a scotsman would
Ryan says: (11:02:14)
I'm not sure if you got my witty reply or just ignored it
Bruce says: (11:16:06)
I did
Bruce says: (11:16:10)
The scotsman fallacy
Ryan says: (11:16:46)
Good
Bruce says: (11:16:53)
But they're fat
Ryan says: (11:17:05)
Nuh uh
Ryan says: (11:17:11)
David Tennant makes Asians look fat.
Bruce says: (11:17:12)
They have a higer rate of obesity per person than the US
Bruce says: (11:17:55)
You forget Amy
Bruce says: (11:18:24)
Amy is basically the Sarah Jane of this generation
Bruce says: (11:18:38)
The thing that proves a young boy is on the path of healthy heterosexuality.
Ryan says: (11:20:24)
Indeed
Ryan says: (11:20:30)
I want to sex one of those
Bruce says: (11:20:38)
Young boys?
Ryan says: (11:20:45)
No, an Amy.
Ryan says: (11:20:50)
You bastard.
Bruce Pretty good, cheers. Yourself?
drfaustuslives not bad, might have a line on a new church music gig
drfaustuslives Methodist this time
Bruce You hussy
drfaustuslives well, in this business, you have to stay hep
drfaustuslives The Lutherans are old hat
drfaustuslives the only mainline protestant church in this country that isn't on the brink of death is the United Methodists
Bruce Why not go Catholic, they have the best music?
drfaustuslives I do love the liturgy, but I'm not as big a fan of the pederasty
Bruce Hmm
Bruce Isn't nearer my God to thee a methodist tune?
drfaustuslives hilariously enough, it was written by a Unitarian
drfaustuslives the lyrics anyway
Bruce The subtle nuances between the less mainstream denominations of christianity are not my speciality, so I fail to see the hilarity.
drfaustuslives this is one instance where the difference isn't subtle at all. the Unitarians deny the divinity of Christ
Bruce Erm
drfaustuslives they expound the unity of one God, hence Unitarian
Bruce ...
Bruce Huh
drfaustuslives well, it makes sense if you know what tradition they're growing out of. The Unitarians split from the Congregationalists in the 1820s. The Congregationalists, as you may know, were the successors to the Puritan churches of New England
drfaustuslives so there was a lot of baggage they were reacting against
Bruce Is the gist that they're the people Dan Brown based his characters in Da Vinci Code on?
drfaustuslives uhhh
Bruce Jesus = Awesome but ≠ God
drfaustuslives what?
drfaustuslives oh!
drfaustuslives well mostly, yes
drfaustuslives in the 1950s the Unitarians merged with the Universalist church to become the Unitarian-Universalists
drfaustuslives and soon after that they decided anything goes
drfaustuslives so now most UUs don't even claim to be Christian
drfaustuslives the UU church I visited whilst in California was primarily secular humanist, with a few neo-pagans for good measure
Bruce So they're polytheist?
drfaustuslives no, because that would suggest that they have any sort of doctrine that you have to believe in in order to join
drfaustuslives they're everything and nothing and all the inbetweens
drfaustuslives so you can understand why my contempt for them knows no bounds
drfaustuslives leftists pretending to be spiritual in order to validate their political bent
Bruce So the teenage lesbians of the theology world?
drfaustuslives YES
Bruce Now I get you!
Bruce All things are simpler when you use homosexuality as an analogy
drfaustuslives It's like Wicca for non fat chicks
Do you know how to grind dance
Ryan says: (13:26:25)
Step 1, find girl
Ryan says: (13:26:28)
Step 2, turn girl around
Ryan says: (13:26:37)
Step 3, dry hump sideways
Bruce says: (13:26:39)
No, no, no.
Bruce says: (13:26:45)
You are Ryan motherfucking Jones
Bruce says: (13:26:50)
The bitches will come to you
Ryan says: (13:26:52)
Step 4, pretend to spill drink to cover up premature ejaculate
Bruce says: (13:27:09)
And you've knocked it out of the park
Ryan says: (13:27:18)
I know my shit.
Right out of the fucking park.
Ryan says: (09:49:00)
On the Olympics page for Ireland, one of the first athlete pictures is for an Irish boxer named Paddy Barnes.
Ryan says: (09:49:07)
Irish as fuck
Bruce says: (09:49:18)
He's so Irish he shits potatoes?
Ryan says: (09:49:36)
He's so Irish he doesn't
Bruce says: (09:49:43)
…Goddamnit
And with Jakey:
(Out of nowhere)
drfaustuslives:
I was beating off last night
Bruce:
Well
Erm..
drfaustuslives:
and as I came, I suddenly got a terrible cramp in my leg
I'm afraid to try again now
Bruce:
Oh yeah, that happens
But damnit
You've put me off my spaghetti
drfaustuslives:
unless you're eating an alfredo sauce i don't know how or why that is
Bruce:
Carbonara
drfaustuslives:
mmmmm
I think I will make some, right now
bbl
Bruce:
Yeah, thanks. Dick.
drfaustuslives:
much love my Anglo brotha