So, I was sitting on skype when I got a friend request from a guy in China, who wanted to talk to me about selling socks. The following conversation took place.
Scott Blaha 2:31 AM
wait, so, what about socks?
sandy_yan_ 2:32 AM
we make socks in good quality.
Scott Blaha 2:32 AM
Oh.
sandy_yan_ 2:33 AM
a u interested?
Scott Blaha 2:33 AM
Well, how would I go about obtaining high quality socks?
sandy_yan_ 2:35 AM
what do u mean by that?
Scott Blaha 2:35 AM
How would I get these socks you speak of?
sandy_yan_ 2:36 AM
what quantity do you need?
Scott Blaha 2:37 AM
I don't know, a lot?
sandy_yan_ 2:37 AM
the general quantity?
Scott Blaha 2:37 AM
I wasn't aware there was such a thing!
sandy_yan_ 2:37 AM
what kind of socks do you need?
Scott Blaha 2:38 AM
Also, did you even know I was the guy who started Socksmas?
2:38 AM
Every June 25th is Socksmas.
sandy_yan_ 2:39 AM
sorry ,i don't know.
Scott Blaha 2:39 AM
Well now you're educated!
2:40 AM
Also, I still have no idea who you are
sandy_yan_ 2:41 AM
thanks for your education.
2:41 AM
i am a new guy in these area.
Scott Blaha 2:42 AM
I think that's pretty far from my area.
2:42 AM
Since I'm, you know, in america.
sandy_yan_ 2:43 AM
distance can't stop business nowadays.
Scott Blaha 2:43 AM
I know what can
2:43 AM http://fc00.deviantart.com/fs26/f/2008/076/5/4/Jill_Valentine_Cosplay_by_MangaGirl232.jpg
2:43 AM
JILL VALENTINE PROFESSIONAL STARS MEMBER
sandy_yan_ 2:44 AM
can u show me some web about socksmas
2:44 AM
thx
Scott Blaha 2:44 AM
unfortunatly, the domain expired, but I still have it backed up somewhere.
sandy_yan_ 2:45 AM
o u scare me
2:46 AM
what's the pic for?
2:46 AM
is it a real person ?
Scott Blaha 2:46 AM
It's Jill Valentine cosplay, by MangaGirl232
2:46 AM
obvious
2:46 AM
obviously*
sandy_yan_ 2:47 AM
why do u show me this pic?
Scott Blaha 2:47 AM
It's a rite of passage in america, to look at Jill_Valentine_Cosplay_by_MangaGirl232.jpg
2:48 AM
That's how you become a man.
sandy_yan_ 2:48 AM
can't understand
Scott Blaha 2:49 AM
Then you aren't manly enough yet
sandy_yan_ 2:49 AM
no
Scott Blaha 2:50 AM
Apparently so
sandy_yan_ 2:50 AM
how old a u?
Scott Blaha 2:50 AM
I am 8 years old and I eat my own shit
2:51 AM
Now let's talk business
2:52 AM
I need socks, and lots of them
sandy_yan_ 2:52 AM
then?
(at this point, I edited my profile and changed my name)
Socks Mahoney 2:52 AM
I will wear all of them
2:52 AM
but please tell me your socks from a totally indie company, not some stupid brand name
2:53 AM
I can't stand things that are popular. They're too uncool.
2:53 AM
I need socks are hip and edgy
2:53 AM
that'll appeal to the coffee drinking hipster demographic
2:54 AM
While they're listening to their ska bands, they need to know that they can have comfort and individuality on their feet
2:54 AM
Can we strike a deal here?
2:56 AM
Come on, don't leave me hanging, bro
2:57 AM
I've got an amazing deal planned out available for the next 10 seconds.
2:57 AM
but it's going fast!
2:57 AM
JUST SAY YES OR NO
2:57 AM
QUICKLY
2:57 AM
6
2:57 AM
5
2:57 AM
4
sandy_yan_ 2:57 AM
bye
Socks Mahoney 2:57 AM
3
2:57 AM
2
2:57 AM
1
2:57 AM
way to pass on the greatest deal of a lifetime
(10:39:10 PM) DrFaustusLives: come teach English in Thailand with me, Jeff
(10:39:25 PM) hamelin rackham: I'm really considering it.
(10:39:34 PM) DrFaustusLives: good food, friendly people
(10:39:41 PM) DrFaustusLives: and ladyboys as far as the eyes can see
(10:40:05 PM) Amoeba Boy Zero: wow
(10:40:08 PM) Amoeba Boy Zero: that is...
(10:40:12 PM) Amoeba Boy Zero: just...wow
DrFaustusLives (1:40:03 AM): SWINE
ReallyCleanSocks (1:40:20 AM): Traitorous heathen!
DrFaustusLives (1:40:31 AM): funghwa!?
DrFaustusLives (1:40:44 AM): I'm referring to the flu!
DrFaustusLives (1:40:48 AM): what are YOU on about?
ReallyCleanSocks (1:40:57 AM): My point still stands.
DrFaustusLives (1:41:05 AM): ...
DrFaustusLives (1:41:08 AM): you'll rue this day!
DrFaustusLives (1:41:25 AM): this and the day you were born!
ReallyCleanSocks (1:41:25 AM): you did that nondescript thing that hurt me emotionally
ReallyCleanSocks (1:41:39 AM): I shall rue this day, but never that day!
ReallyCleanSocks (1:41:48 AM): that day has still gone unrued!
DrFaustusLives (1:41:56 AM): RUE IT
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:02 AM): maybe later
DrFaustusLives (1:42:12 AM): com'on
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:19 AM): Uh
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:20 AM): no
DrFaustusLives (1:42:25 AM): pwease?
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:32 AM): ...
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:37 AM): maybe
DrFaustusLives (1:42:39 AM): I'll be your friend
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:44 AM): :O
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:52 AM): I want you to be my friend...
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:15 AM): It's been my dream ever since I was a little girl
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:24 AM): growing up in rural utah
DrFaustusLives (1:43:28 AM): YAWN TOO LATE I'M BORED NOW
DrFaustusLives (1:43:35 AM): GOING TO WANK THEN SLEEP
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:42 AM): BUT BUT BUT
“DrFaustusLives” is back at the computer as of 1:43:47 AM.
“DrFaustusLives” signed off at 1:43:47 AM.
DrFaustusLives (1:43:28 AM): YAWN TOO LATE I'M BORED NOW
DrFaustusLives (1:43:35 AM): GOING TO WANK THEN SLEEP
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:42 AM): BUT BUT BUT
“DrFaustusLives” is back at the computer as of 1:43:47 AM.
“DrFaustusLives” signed off at 1:43:47 AM.
If I'm interpreting those timestamps correctly, that was a five second wank right there.
It was, I think, one of my first AIM conversations with Khan, back in the old Inksandwich days. I had just started college and was living with some football players in the dorms, who were all very nice and offered to set me up with some of the overflow sluts that followed them around. I told Khan that I politely declined, and he asked if I was gay or stupid. I replied, being the witty young man I am, that no, I instead had a sexual deviation so perverse that I could not mention it aloud. Khan guessed that I liked to masturbate onto mushrooms, and internet history was born.
Hahah. I can't believe I didn't think of that picture! As I read in a comment on 4chan when I saw that image, leave it to nature to grow a mushroom shaped like a penis!
Kristi: I should probably get up and do something.
Hammy: maybe!
Kristi: 24 or 14?
Kristi: just pick one!
Hammy: 24!
Kristi: ok.
Kristi: because its more?
Hammy: because in case you were referring to people I didn't want to sound like a pedophile
Kristi: lol!
Kristi: not people!
Kristi: thats hilarious.
Bruce says:
Argh fuck! I just fucking shattered the glass on my scanner. Fuckballs!
Declan d[-_-]b says:
hahah, you stupid pissminge. Trying to scan your knob again?
Bruce says:
No, it's by my foot.
Bruce says:
(My scanner, not my cock)
Comments
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehe
Scott Blaha 2:31 AM
wait, so, what about socks?
sandy_yan_ 2:32 AM
we make socks in good quality.
Scott Blaha 2:32 AM
Oh.
sandy_yan_ 2:33 AM
a u interested?
Scott Blaha 2:33 AM
Well, how would I go about obtaining high quality socks?
sandy_yan_ 2:35 AM
what do u mean by that?
Scott Blaha 2:35 AM
How would I get these socks you speak of?
sandy_yan_ 2:36 AM
what quantity do you need?
Scott Blaha 2:37 AM
I don't know, a lot?
sandy_yan_ 2:37 AM
the general quantity?
Scott Blaha 2:37 AM
I wasn't aware there was such a thing!
sandy_yan_ 2:37 AM
what kind of socks do you need?
Scott Blaha 2:38 AM
Also, did you even know I was the guy who started Socksmas?
2:38 AM
Every June 25th is Socksmas.
sandy_yan_ 2:39 AM
sorry ,i don't know.
Scott Blaha 2:39 AM
Well now you're educated!
2:40 AM
Also, I still have no idea who you are
sandy_yan_ 2:41 AM
thanks for your education.
2:41 AM
i am a new guy in these area.
Scott Blaha 2:42 AM
I think that's pretty far from my area.
2:42 AM
Since I'm, you know, in america.
sandy_yan_ 2:43 AM
distance can't stop business nowadays.
Scott Blaha 2:43 AM
I know what can
2:43 AM
http://fc00.deviantart.com/fs26/f/2008/076/5/4/Jill_Valentine_Cosplay_by_MangaGirl232.jpg
2:43 AM
JILL VALENTINE PROFESSIONAL STARS MEMBER
sandy_yan_ 2:44 AM
can u show me some web about socksmas
2:44 AM
thx
Scott Blaha 2:44 AM
unfortunatly, the domain expired, but I still have it backed up somewhere.
sandy_yan_ 2:45 AM
o u scare me
2:46 AM
what's the pic for?
2:46 AM
is it a real person ?
Scott Blaha 2:46 AM
It's Jill Valentine cosplay, by MangaGirl232
2:46 AM
obvious
2:46 AM
obviously*
sandy_yan_ 2:47 AM
why do u show me this pic?
Scott Blaha 2:47 AM
It's a rite of passage in america, to look at Jill_Valentine_Cosplay_by_MangaGirl232.jpg
2:48 AM
That's how you become a man.
sandy_yan_ 2:48 AM
can't understand
Scott Blaha 2:49 AM
Then you aren't manly enough yet
sandy_yan_ 2:49 AM
no
Scott Blaha 2:50 AM
Apparently so
sandy_yan_ 2:50 AM
how old a u?
Scott Blaha 2:50 AM
I am 8 years old and I eat my own shit
2:51 AM
Now let's talk business
2:52 AM
I need socks, and lots of them
sandy_yan_ 2:52 AM
then?
(at this point, I edited my profile and changed my name)
Socks Mahoney 2:52 AM
I will wear all of them
2:52 AM
but please tell me your socks from a totally indie company, not some stupid brand name
2:53 AM
I can't stand things that are popular. They're too uncool.
2:53 AM
I need socks are hip and edgy
2:53 AM
that'll appeal to the coffee drinking hipster demographic
2:54 AM
While they're listening to their ska bands, they need to know that they can have comfort and individuality on their feet
2:54 AM
Can we strike a deal here?
2:56 AM
Come on, don't leave me hanging, bro
2:57 AM
I've got an amazing deal planned out available for the next 10 seconds.
2:57 AM
but it's going fast!
2:57 AM
JUST SAY YES OR NO
2:57 AM
QUICKLY
2:57 AM
6
2:57 AM
5
2:57 AM
4
sandy_yan_ 2:57 AM
bye
Socks Mahoney 2:57 AM
3
2:57 AM
2
2:57 AM
1
2:57 AM
way to pass on the greatest deal of a lifetime
(10:39:10 PM) DrFaustusLives: come teach English in Thailand with me, Jeff
(10:39:25 PM) hamelin rackham: I'm really considering it.
(10:39:34 PM) DrFaustusLives: good food, friendly people
(10:39:41 PM) DrFaustusLives: and ladyboys as far as the eyes can see
(10:40:05 PM) Amoeba Boy Zero: wow
(10:40:08 PM) Amoeba Boy Zero: that is...
(10:40:12 PM) Amoeba Boy Zero: just...wow
fuck me.
ReallyCleanSocks (1:40:20 AM): Traitorous heathen!
DrFaustusLives (1:40:31 AM): funghwa!?
DrFaustusLives (1:40:44 AM): I'm referring to the flu!
DrFaustusLives (1:40:48 AM): what are YOU on about?
ReallyCleanSocks (1:40:57 AM): My point still stands.
DrFaustusLives (1:41:05 AM): ...
DrFaustusLives (1:41:08 AM): you'll rue this day!
DrFaustusLives (1:41:25 AM): this and the day you were born!
ReallyCleanSocks (1:41:25 AM): you did that nondescript thing that hurt me emotionally
ReallyCleanSocks (1:41:39 AM): I shall rue this day, but never that day!
ReallyCleanSocks (1:41:48 AM): that day has still gone unrued!
DrFaustusLives (1:41:56 AM): RUE IT
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:02 AM): maybe later
DrFaustusLives (1:42:12 AM): com'on
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:19 AM): Uh
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:20 AM): no
DrFaustusLives (1:42:25 AM): pwease?
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:32 AM): ...
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:37 AM): maybe
DrFaustusLives (1:42:39 AM): I'll be your friend
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:44 AM): :O
ReallyCleanSocks (1:42:52 AM): I want you to be my friend...
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:15 AM): It's been my dream ever since I was a little girl
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:24 AM): growing up in rural utah
DrFaustusLives (1:43:28 AM): YAWN TOO LATE I'M BORED NOW
DrFaustusLives (1:43:35 AM): GOING TO WANK THEN SLEEP
ReallyCleanSocks (1:43:42 AM): BUT BUT BUT
“DrFaustusLives” is back at the computer as of 1:43:47 AM.
“DrFaustusLives” signed off at 1:43:47 AM.
If I'm interpreting those timestamps correctly, that was a five second wank right there.
Although, do fungi have butts? And does anyone still remember that in-joke?
Hammy: maybe!
Kristi: 24 or 14?
Kristi: just pick one!
Hammy: 24!
Kristi: ok.
Kristi: because its more?
Hammy: because in case you were referring to people I didn't want to sound like a pedophile
Kristi: lol!
Kristi: not people!
Kristi: thats hilarious.
Argh fuck! I just fucking shattered the glass on my scanner. Fuckballs!
Declan d[-_-]b says:
hahah, you stupid pissminge. Trying to scan your knob again?
Bruce says:
No, it's by my foot.
Bruce says:
(My scanner, not my cock)
(1:24:31 AM) Tanya: and ... did you ever want one in your size? I'll sew it!