Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

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Comments

  • edited June 2006
    Heaven is not a physical place DI. It's in another dimension, DUH.
  • edited June 2006
    ...Heaven is the Zen?!
  • edited June 2006
    Is Heaven more than 10,000 feet away from Nazareth?


    Yes, but keep in mind that God can rape people from much farther away than a normal man or woman.
  • edited June 2006
    It's his mutant power.
  • edited June 2006
    Can omnipotence be considered a mutation? I don't think so. Non-omnipotence is a mutation, a sucky mutation.
  • edited June 2006
    Long-range tele-rape can be considered a mutation.
  • edited June 2006
    Hey, you made 300 posts.
  • edited June 2006
    ...So that news post is now irrelevant, since you now have 301?
  • edited June 2006
    Just slightly out of date.
  • edited June 2006
    Wow, that is simply amazing! when I grow up I want to be just like that guy!
  • edited June 2006
    But he uses linux. Do you really want to be like that?!
  • edited June 2006
    no... MY LIFE IS A SHAM!
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    apperantly, jhonnycake isnt the only one happy its 6/6/06
    http://www.optonline.net/Article/Feeds?CID=channel%3D32%26article%3D18580466
  • edited June 2006
    Happy Satan Wedding Day, malaysia!
  • edited June 2006
    This isn't exactly current events, but posted on the Kircher Society Blog:
    The Ténéré wastelands of northeastern Niger were once populated by a forest of trees. By the 20th century, desertification had wiped out all but one solitary acacia. The Tree of Ténéré, as it came to be called, had no companions for 400 km in every direction. Its roots reached nearly 40 m deep into the sand. In 1973, the tree was knocked over by a drunken Libyan truck driver. It has been replaced by a simple metal sculpture.

    lasttrees.jpg

    To echo the sentiments of commenter 'Peter' and also The Apostropher, how drunk do you have to be to hit the only tree within a 400 km radius??
  • edited June 2006
    Brings added meaning to the phrase 'blind drunk' I guess.
  • edited June 2006
    modern art replaces nature!
  • edited June 2006
    China makes ultimate punishment mobile
    CHONGQING, China — Zhang Shiqiang, known as the Nine-Fingered Devil, first tasted justice at 13. His father caught him stealing and cut off one of Zhang's fingers.

    Twenty-five years later, in 2004, Zhang met retribution once more, after his conviction for double murder and rape. He was one of the first people put to death in China's new fleet of mobile execution chambers.

    The country that executed more than four times as many convicts as the rest of the world combined last year is slowly phasing out public executions by firing squad in favor of lethal injections. Unlike the United States and Singapore, the only two other countries where death is administered by injection, China metes out capital punishment from specially equipped "death vans" that shuttle from town to town.

    Makers of the death vans say the vehicles and injections are a civilized alternative to the firing squad, ending the life of the condemned more quickly, clinically and safely. The switch from gunshots to injections is a sign that China "promotes human rights now," says Kang Zhongwen, who designed the Jinguan Automobile death van in which "Devil" Zhang took his final ride.

    State secret

    For years, foreign human rights groups have accused China of arbitrary executions and cruelty in its use of capital punishment. The exact number of convicts put to death is a state secret. Amnesty International estimates there were at least 1,770 executions in China in 2005 — vs. 60 in the United States, but the group says on its website that the toll could be as high as 8,000 prisoners.

    The "majority are still by gunshot," says Liu Renwen, death penalty researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, a think tank in Beijing. "But the use of injections has grown in recent years, and may have reached 40%."

    China's critics contend that the transition from firing squads to injections in death vans facilitates an illegal trade in prisoners' organs.

    Injections leave the whole body intact and require participation of doctors. Organs can "be extracted in a speedier and more effective way than if the prisoner is shot," says Mark Allison, East Asia researcher at Amnesty International in Hong Kong. "We have gathered strong evidence suggesting the involvement of (Chinese) police, courts and hospitals in the organ trade."

    Executions in death vans are recorded on video and audio that is played live to local law enforcement authorities — a measure intended to ensure they are carried out legally.

    China's refusal to give outsiders access to the bodies of executed prisoners has added to suspicions about what happens afterward: Corpses are typically driven to a crematorium and burned before relatives or independent witnesses can view them.

    Chinese authorities are sensitive to allegations that they are complicit in the organ trade. In March, the Ministry of Health issued regulations explicitly banning the sale of organs and tightening approval standards for transplants.

    Even so, Amnesty International said in a report in April that huge profits from the sale of prisoners' organs might be part of why China refuses to consider doing away with the death penalty.

    "Given the high commercial value of organs, it is doubtful the new regulations will have an effect," Allison says.

    Local executions

    Makers of death vans say they save money for poor localities that would otherwise have to pay to construct execution facilities in prisons or court buildings. The vans ensure that prisoners sentenced to death can be executed locally, closer to communities where they broke the law.

    That "deters others from committing crime and has more impact" than executions carried out elsewhere, Kang says.

    Jinguan — "Golden Champion" in Chinese — lies an hour's drive from Chongqing in southwestern China, below the green slopes of Cliff Mountain. Along with the death vans, the company also makes bulletproof limousines for the country's rich and armored trucks for banks. Jinguan's glossy death van brochure is printed in both Chinese and English.

    From the outside, the vans resemble the police vehicles seen daily on China's roads. A look inside reveals their function.

    "I'm most proud of the bed. It's very humane, like an ambulance," Kang says. He points to the power-driven metal stretcher that glides out at an incline. "It's too brutal to haul a person aboard," he says. "This makes it convenient for the criminal and the guards."

    The lethal cocktail used in the injections is mixed only in Beijing, something that has prompted complaints from local courts.

    "Some places can't afford the cost of sending a person to Beijing — perhaps $250 — plus $125 more for the drug," says Qiu Xingsheng, a former judge working as a lawyer in Chongqing. Death-by-gunshot requires "very little expense," he says.

    Qiu has attended executions by firing squad where the kneeling prisoner is shot in the back of the head. The guards "ask the prisoner to open his mouth, so the bullet can pass out of the mouth and leave the face intact," he says.

    No debate

    In the United States, some death row inmates and death penalty opponents want the Supreme Court to declare lethal injections cruel and unusual. A recent lawsuit claimed inmates suffer excruciating pain during executions because they do not get enough anesthetic.

    There is no such debate in China, which uses the same three-drug cocktail as the U.S. federal government and most U.S. states: sodium thiopental to make the condemned unconscious, pancuronium bromide to stop breathing, potassium chloride to stop the heart.

    People's Daily and other state media describe the mix as a "non-virulent drug," bringing about "immediate clinical death while inflicting no physiological pain."

    "It doesn't matter what method you use," Qiu says. "If someone is convicted of a capital crime, they should be executed."

    Chinese prisoners condemned to death are not offered a choice of injection over gunshot, but Qiu and others suspect wealth and connections can buy the newer method.

    "It is a real phenomenon that gangsters and corrupt officials are killed by injection more than gunshot, so their bodies are intact, and death is less painful," Liu says. "But I doubt it is government policy. These criminals are usually held in cities, where the injection is used. Common criminals are held in county-level facilities, where shooting is more common."

    Tycoon Yuan Baojing was executed in March in a death van, in northeast China's Liaoyang city. He had been convicted of arranging the murder of a man trying to blackmail him for attempting to assassinate a business partner.

    Sixty-eight different crimes — more than half non-violent offenses such as tax evasion and drug smuggling — are punishable by death in China. That means the death vans are likely to keep rolling.

    "If we abolish the death penalty, then crime will grow," Kang says.
  • edited June 2006
    Tax evasion is punishable by death in China? That seems way more fucked up than the majority of the article to me. Guess they figured out a solution to abolish poverty.
  • edited June 2006
    Regarding the tree story. How, even when drunk, does someone manage to hit a tree, despite it being the only thing within a 400Km radius that was available to hit? And why was someone driving there anyway?
  • edited June 2006
    That portable execution truck shows how cunning the chinese are. With a population of 2 billion, this way they can execute a higher number of criminals... Kinda mean I think. And Tax evasion, how does that warrant execution?!
  • edited June 2006
    Pay your taxes or else.
  • edited June 2006
    I'm only 16 (Today), don't need to pay taxes, unless I get a job, or buy something...
  • edited June 2006
    The driver of the chinese executiuon truck got drunk and decided he ought to execute the tree because it wasn't paying it's taxes.
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    Mobile execution vans that deliver the corpses to crematoreums without letting the public see the bodies. Reminds me of Chelmno.
  • edited June 2006
    Reminds me of New Orleans.
  • edited June 2006
    Same fucked up story, twice.
    NARA (Kyodo) A 16-year-old boy under arrest in connection with an arson fire that claimed his stepmother and siblings at their Nara Prefecture home has told police he did not want his father to know about his school performance, investigative sources said Friday.


    A van leaves the police station here taking a 16-year-old boy suspected of killing his stepmother and siblings to the prosecutors' office.

    The boy, whose identity has been withheld because he is a minor, was arrested Thursday and admitted starting a fire at the bottom of the stairs in his house in Tawaramoto early Tuesday with the intention of killing his stepmother, Dr. Minka Yoshikawa, 38, brother, Yoshiki, 7, and sister, Yumin, 5. Their bodies bore knife wounds but an autopsy revealed they died of carbon monoxide poisoning, the sources said.

    The statement by the boy, a high school sophomore, suggest he was under intense pressure from his father, Motoyoshi, 47, also a doctor, over his performance at school, the sources said.

    The boy was sent to the prosecutors Friday.

    A parents' meeting was scheduled later Tuesday at the boy's high school, where students' recent test scores were to be disclosed.

    "I didn't want my mother to attend a parent-teacher meeting and let my father find out my test results," he was quoted as telling police.

    The boy also told them he was thinking about killing his father, too, the sources said.

    The boy told police that his father nagged him about his school performance and urged him to attend cram school, although his school did not recommend its students to do so, the sources said.

    The boy, on his father's advice, attended an English conversation school.

    The boy's whereabouts after the fire broke out early Tuesday was unknown until police took him into custody Thursday morning in Kyoto. Police said the boy broke into the home of a 60-year-old woman in Kyoto around 7:45 a.m. and was watching TV in the living room when she found him.

    He said he had learned of the deaths of his stepmother and siblings on TV news.

    The boy's father was working a night shift at a hospital in neighboring Mie Prefecture at the time of the fire.
    NARA (Kyodo) A high school student arrested over a fire that killed his stepmother and two siblings in Nara Prefecture has told police he was afraid his parents would discover at a parent-teacher meeting that he had lied about his English test score, investigative sources said Saturday.

    The 16-year-old, whose name is being withheld because he is a minor, reportedly said he started the fire early Tuesday in their Tawaramoto home because he had told his father he performed well on the English test and didn't want him to learn the truth.

    Investigators believe concern over academic performance and pressure from his father prompted the boy to commit arson, as the results of midterm exams were scheduled to be reported at a parent-teacher meeting on the day of the fire.

    The principal of the private high school said the boy performed "slightly worse than (he did) in the last exam in the third year of junior high school, but there was nothing significant to worry about in the decline of performance."

    The boy was said to have been struggling with English. Investigators believe he worried about his academic performance due to a conflict with his father, who reportedly pressured him about his grades.

    The boy, based on the wishes of his father, attended an English-conversation school and other cram schools since entering junior high school.

    While in junior high, the boy reportedly told a classmate that his father would hit him if his academic performance started to decline. He has also told investigators he could not tolerate his father's violence.

    The boy said he set a towel on fire over the kitchen stove and stacked up envelopes and other items nearby.

    His account, however, does not entirely match the circumstantial evidence, so police planned to carry out another examination of the site on Saturday.

    The boy's 38-year-old stepmother died in the fire along with a 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter. They had been sleeping on the second floor when the fire broke out shortly after 5 a.m. Tuesday. His father, a doctor, was not at home.

    The police sent the boy to the Nara District Public Prosecutor's Office on Friday.
  • edited June 2006
    Wow, Asia is fucked up!
  • edited June 2006
    Yeah, yeah, I see how it works, you fail English, you kill your parents. I wonder why I didn't think of it? Maybe because its moronic!