Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

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Comments

  • edited May 2006
    CRUSE YUOUUUUUU!
  • godgod
    edited May 2006
    mario wrote:
    That baby wasn't overheated, he was frozen!

    (Yes, I do know the difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius)
    yeah, i thought somthing along those lines when i first read it.
  • edited May 2006
    The metric system is the tool of the devil!
  • edited May 2006
    Serephel wrote:
    The metric system is the tool of the devil!


    I'm 1.82m tall! Its currently 5 degrees Celsius outside! Absolute Zero is -273.15 degrees Celsius! My can of fanta can hold 330ml of liquid!

    Now go, or I shall taunt ye a second time with my metric-ism.
  • edited May 2006
    I don't want no 'F's on my report card, but 'C's aren't all that great either. I should make up an 'A' scale. Then I can measure things in "Awesome".
  • edited May 2006
    "I'M ON FIRE!"
    "You're 700 degrees of awesome there dude!"
  • edited June 2006
    Baby born with three arms
    SHANGHAI, China (AP) -- Doctors in Shanghai on Tuesday were considering surgery options for a 2-month-old boy born with an unusually well-formed third arm.

    Neither of the boy's two left arms is fully functional and tests have so far been unable to determine which was more developed, said Dr. Chen Bochang, head of the orthopedics department at Shanghai Children's Medical Center.

    "His case is quite peculiar. We have no record of any child with such a complete third arm," Chen said in a telephone interview. (Watch Jie-jie in his hospital cradle -- :47)

    The boy, identified only as "Jie-jie," also was born with just one kidney and may have problems that could lead to curvature of the spine, local media reports said. Jie-jie cried when either of his left arms was touched, but smiled and responded normally to other stimuli, the reports said.

    Chen said doctors hoped to work out a plan for surgery, but the boy's small size made it impossible to perform certain tests that would help them prepare.

    Media reports said other children have been reported born with additional arms and legs, but in those cases it was clear what limb was more developed. Chen's hospital is one of China's most experienced in dealing with unusual birth defects, including separating conjoined twins.
  • edited June 2006
    I'd say the bottom one looks more developed.
  • edited June 2006
    Man, when is nature gonna figure out that these mutations only work if they are useful, instead of making three armed freaks make things with six total appendages (like Goro from MK). Or atleast give us a prehensile tail!
  • edited June 2006
    I would love a tail. I'd hit people with it all day long.

    They should cut off both arms and trade them for a kidney.
  • edited June 2006
    I second the tail! Or third, or whatever. A tail would rock. Think of the balance!
  • edited June 2006
    Aaaw. The poor little child.

    If I got a mutation, I'd like retractable wings. I'd fly around and fight crime.
  • edited June 2006
    You'd need hollow bones too, and much stronger chest muscles.
  • edited June 2006
    I almost forgot, I must wear my underwear on the outside too.

    For I will be: Orangebelt man! The forums official super-hero!
  • edited June 2006
    For a mutation I think I'd like to have either laser eyes or control over the weather.

    Though I'd definently settle for a tail.
  • edited June 2006
    we got gipped on the evolutionary cycle as far as I concern

    I mean, we probably would be better off if we had the highly developed brain AND the tail and the bitchin climbing abilities
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    yeah, i never got that. if evolution made sure that all the good charicteristics were passed on, why dont we have tails? they would save lives, if we fell or somthing.
  • edited June 2006
    Boy, if god's the one asking these tough questions, we're all in trouble.

    Tails probably weren't passed down because when the early apes started walking on the ground instead of swinging in the trees, the tails became a hindrance to balance. Those with shorter tails (and eventually, no tails at all) were likely better at escaping from prey because they could run faster, and thus passed down their traits. It's also possible that the tail-less look was more desirable by the opposite sex. Maybe our early ancestors were into that sort of thing.
  • edited June 2006
    I guess our earlier ancestors wanted to get a piece of non-tail!

    Y-ya get where I'm goin' with that?
  • edited June 2006
    Sadly, some modern day humans are. Damn furry folk...
  • edited June 2006
    mario wrote:
    Boy, if god's the one asking these tough questions, we're all in trouble.

    Tails probably weren't passed down because when the early apes started walking on the ground instead of swinging in the trees, the tails became a hindrance to balance. Those with shorter tails (and eventually, no tails at all) were likely better at escaping from prey because they could run faster, and thus passed down their traits. It's also possible that the tail-less look was more desirable by the opposite sex. Maybe our early ancestors were into that sort of thing.

    Surely having a tail is a slight problem to an upright walking species, but having a tail can be advantageous for runners, as long as they mantain a stooping posture(think about the turning ability of a raptor, as imagined in Jurassic Park). The extra weight balanced near the center makes for extremely tight turning ability and not as much loss of acceleration is the animal has to switch direction... but only if the animal is not in an upright position. Humans are upright animals, and walking or running upright would be a total pain in the ass if we had significant long tails. Evolutionarily speaking, however, we've already witnessed that the other apes have been losing their tails, or never developed long ones... but each species runs in a stooped position and climbs, two activities for which a long tail could be useful.


    It was probably more like the apes that had shorter "inferior" tails were able to mate successfully and survive just as well as the ones with the longer tails, until it was not of neccessity to have a longer tail to be attractive... indeed, short-tailedness may have become some sexually desirable trait, explaining a direction of breeding that created shorter and shorter tails. But even having normal reproductive success despite not having "optimal" physical features can lead to that physical quality being diluted to the point of ommission, past simple vestigial characteristics.

    I'm thinking our ancestors were just "into" short-tailed women. Naturally, I like to imagine that our ancestors had a patriarchal society, and that women were judged based off of pure phenotype than anything else, especially when our ancestors first started fighing for territory... territory maybe inhabitted by near species.
  • edited June 2006
    Baby's death blamed on crack smoke
    A Frankfort couple face murder charges for allegedly killing their infant daughter with second-hand crack cocaine smoke.

    A Franklin County grand jury indictment accuses Jaime Jockers and Michael McIntyre of smoking crack in the presence of 5-month-old Brooklyn P. McIntyre, who died on March 3 in her apartment at the Stivers Apartments complex, 505 Owenton Avenue, in Frankfort.

    Toxicology results from the Kentucky State Police crime laboratory revealed the baby girl died from acute cocaine intoxication, Commonwealth's Attorney Larry Cleveland said yesterday afternoon.

    "There was a lot of crack cocaine smoked in that house," he said.

    The drug also was sold in the residence, he said.

    Jockers, 23, had two other children in the home by another father. Those children have been removed, Cleveland said. Both she and McIntyre, 21, face charges of murder and wanton endangerment, according to the indictment filed yesterday.

    McIntyre faces additional charges of being a persistent felony offender. Jockers has previously been charged with drug trafficking, Cleveland said.

    Although it might sound absurd, death by secondhand crack smoke is possible, said Holly Hopper, coordinator for Drug Endangered Child Training Network at the University of Kentucky.

    Babies can inhale fumes from people smoking crack or methamphetamine, or the drugs can be absorbed through their skin, Hopper said.

    "It really takes a small amount," she said. "Crack cocaine is not something you want to play with."

    In 2003, a mother and grandmother were sentenced to prison for smoking crack in front of a newborn, who died in 2001 from exposure to crack smoke and dehydration, according to The Arizona Republic newspaper.

    Symptoms of a drug-exposed baby include respiratory problems, unexplained seizures and increased blood pressure, Hopper said.

    In substantiated cases of child abuse involving children under the age of 4, 88 percent have parents using drugs, Hopper said.

    Although methamphetamine use has exploded in Western Kentucky, cocaine continues to be the number one drug in Central Kentucky related to child abuse, she said.

    Sex offenders sue over playground buffer zone
    INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (AP) -- Six sex offenders sued the city Wednesday to block a new ordinance that bars them from venturing within 1,000 feet of parks, pools and playgrounds when children are present.

    The plaintiffs went to federal court to argue that the law is unconstitutionally vague, violates their rights to vote and attend church, and prevents them from freely traveling on roads that may pass within 1,000 feet of the affected sites.

    The ordinance was approved May 15 and took effect immediately. It carries fines of up to $2,500.

    The law includes an exception that permits sex offenders to visit those sites as long as they are with another adult who is not a convicted sexual offender.

    The six, who include convicted child molesters and rapists, are represented by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana.

    Tenley Drescher, an attorney for the city, said officials planned to defend the ordinance. "The important part is protecting kids," she said.
  • edited June 2006
    The second one: They don't deserve to be allowed within 10,000 feet of schools or parks, lest they abuse the poor kiddies again. 1000 feet is being lenient. I don't get why they think they should be allowed.

    And the first one: This is what happens when social services doesn't do its job to protect the kiddies from their druggie parents.
  • edited June 2006
    Yes, they end up on playgrounds... at the mercy of dudes.
  • edited June 2006
    They could just not have sex with kids. Just a thought.
  • edited June 2006
    Which is why they shouldn't be allowed within 10,000 feet of kids. They'll be able to rape them otherwise.
  • edited June 2006
    You can rape someone within 10,000 feet of them? Impressive.
  • edited June 2006
    Psychic mind rape?
  • godgod
    edited June 2006
    i want to say the other way you can rape someone from 10,000 feet, but i won't.
  • edited June 2006
    Is Heaven more than 10,000 feet away from Nazareth?