Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

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Comments

  • edited February 2006
    I hate jokes about American TV shows we don't get in england :(
  • edited February 2006
    That was on in England when I was there.
  • edited February 2006
    How could you not have seen Johnny Quest? There was only two seasons and it's been in reruns since the 60s.

    Well, there was the new 80s ones, and the New Adventures of Johnny Quest, but please, there still wasn't that much for how long it's been on TV
  • edited February 2006
    What channel is it on?
  • edited February 2006
    You're on the internet right now. Look it up you slack bastard.
  • edited February 2006
    Confucius say: (expletive)
    NEW YORK (AP) -- There is great embarrassment in your future.

    A box of X-rated fortune cookies was mistakenly delivered to a fundraiser hosted by a Brooklyn politician.

    The 350 cookies stuffed with "the most graphically lurid" fortunes got mixed up in a batch of 1,750 cookies ordered for the Chinese New Year event, Borough President Marty Markowitz said Friday. Some guests "were stunned, to say the least."

    The annual event -- to raise money to send poor children to summer camp -- was attended by some 700 guests Tuesday evening, but only about 80 were still there when the dirty cookies were opened, Markowitz said.

    The borough president was on the second floor of the two-level restaurant when a guest "yelled to me from the first floor: 'Marty, did you order these cookies? Did you see what's inside them? I think you better get your butt down here!' " Markowitz said.

    Markowitz, who was not wearing his glasses, had the "fortunes" read to him by some of the guests.

    "I'm sure they were meant for a raunchy bachelor party," he said. "They were not cutesy. Triple X to say the least."

    He said his office had given the restaurant 10 slogans about Brooklyn to insert into the fortune cookies, and 1,400 were delivered correctly.

    They contained such G-rated boosterisms as: "Brooklyn -- The 10th Planet," "Brooklyn -- it's more than a freak'in tree," and "Brooklyn -- it's like an everything bagel."
  • edited February 2006
    Bad fortunes are awesome. Here in Japan you can get bad ones from shrines and temples. But nothing raunchy.

    Anyone see that Rocko's Modern Life? Filburt had that cookie that said "Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."
  • edited February 2006
    “It is a clear violation of due process and an attempt to discriminate against LGBT NGOs on procedural grounds” says Rosanna Flamer Caldera, Co-secretary General of ILGA, a worldwide network of over 400 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender groups.

    This might be in bad taste, but is that her real middle name?
  • edited February 2006
    PH34R THE WHISTLING TOES!

    http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=bizarre&id=3888982

    Seriously though, I can't whistle through my fingers but i don't stick my toes in my mouth...
  • edited February 2006
    The most fucked up part of that is it qualifies as news.
  • edited February 2006
    How could Brooklyn be the 10th planet? We've already found a 10th planet out in the Kupier Belt, so Brooklyn would have to be the 11th. Or the 9th, if they do what I think they should do and downgrade Pluto to the status of a large Kupier Belt object.
  • edited February 2006
    Don't forget that Oort Cloud object we found awhile back.
  • edited February 2006
    You can't DEFINE a planet, man. She's one of mother earth's BEAUTIFUL CREATURES.
  • edited February 2006
    Oort is a great, great name.
  • edited February 2006
    Yes it is.

    But is not that special really, its nothing more than lumps of rock on the edge of the solar system.

    Now, if you want something super great, look no further than Andromeda:
    Ain't she a beaut?
  • edited February 2006
    Now thats worth getting a speeding ticket..... nah, not really

    This is the best part, as far as I'm concerned: "About 1,600 drivers were listening to lectures in nine rooms at the center at the time. Due to a shortage of original videos, officials dubbed some of them."
  • edited February 2006
    Behemoth and I saw various porn magazines lying around in the streets today. We were commenting on how the Japanese love their porn here. Apparently you just discard it on the street when you're done with it.

    But the question is how the porn got mixed with the drivers ed tapes in the first place? Did some guy go home that night with a video tape, only to be sorely disappointed?
  • edited February 2006
    Bit like what happened here, wherein a teacher tapes a documentary about dinosaurs on the same video which had her home made porn videos to show to her class.

    You can guess what happened.
  • edited February 2006
    Everyone learned interesting facts about dinousaurs and left the class a bit more enlightened about dead reptilians?
  • edited February 2006
    If you want to think that, you go ahead.
  • edited February 2006
    Except dinosaurs weren't actually reptiles, since they were warm-blooded.
  • edited February 2006
    How was I supposed to know! I haven't seen a documenbtary about dinosaurs taped on the same video as home porn!
  • edited February 2006
    Well, that's your problem, isn't it?
  • edited February 2006
    The lesson here is that you should never pay for porn, because someone's going to screw up and show you some eventually.
  • edited February 2006
    tmyk.gif
  • edited February 2006
    Dinosaurs were warm blooded? Huh, tmyk indeed. Anyway:

    Prostitues urge parents, "Boycott Grand Theft Auto"

    Because if you don't listen to politicians, the ESRB, and your own common sense, surely the whores can change your mind.
  • edited February 2006
    So they're unionized now. Interesting.
  • edited February 2006
    I had no idea dinosaurs were warm-blooded. This is so rad, I'm one step closer to actually being a t-rex.
  • edited February 2006
    Sounds like something I'd do on GTA...