Return of the Son of the Effed-Up News Thread Returns

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Comments

  • edited April 2006
    It's only a matter of time before someone kills hundreds with a giant sticky ball they roll around town.
  • edited April 2006
    Eh, I wouldn't mind going out that way.
  • edited April 2006
    It seems like the occupants of the ball survive the impact. Don't know what happens when the whole thing's ignited into a ball of gaseous fire though.
  • edited April 2006
    Wouldn't the ones at the centre of the ball most likely suffocate before that?
  • edited April 2006
    I suppose they do generally stop making noise after awhile, but those little kids continue to flail their limbs about as long as I can see them.
  • edited April 2006
    Kids these days are so full of energy.

    It's all the sugar they consume.
  • edited April 2006
    But no stamina!
  • edited April 2006
    They don't have stamina because they don't play outside! They don't play outside because they're too busy playing murder simulators and posting their plans of MySpace!
  • edited April 2006
    It all balances out then, by the time they lug all the guns to school, they're too tired to use them.
  • godgod
    edited April 2006
    but what if thety find a quarter? then they can pay another kid to bring them to school. because kids will do anything for a quarter
  • edited April 2006
    That's why we need to make all money electronic ASAP.
  • edited April 2006
    Then instead of a quarter they'll use THE DRUGS!
  • edited April 2006
    Then we need to make drugs electronic, too!

    I'm not sure how that would help anything, but you'd be able to download them from BitTorrent sites.
  • edited April 2006
    They already did, it's called World of Warcraft.
  • edited April 2006
    He has a point.
  • godgod
    edited April 2006
    yeah, where i live, a lot of the people tend to go with evercrack instead
  • edited April 2006
    Man's bid for virgin bride enrages neighbors
    BRAY, Okla. -- A man has caused an uproar in this southwestern Oklahoma town by advertising in an unusual manner that he'd like to pay for a virgin to be his bride.

    A sign 45-year-old Michael Thelemann posted in his yard Sunday said he'll pay $1,000 for a virgin bride between the ages of 12 and 24.

    ''I feel like I'm living down the street from a pedophile,'' said neighbor Christy Sternadel. ''We want him out of this neighborhood. Who asks for a 12-year-old virgin bride?''

    As of Wednesday, no one had taken up Thelemann on his offer, but he had heard several negative comments from neighbors, which he said he didn't understand. He said his grandmother married ''a much older man'' at age 14.

    ''I'm just somebody who is getting up there in years, and I'm looking for a born-again, God-fearing virgin between the ages of 12 and 24 who can bear me children,'' said Thelemann. ''What's the problem? I just think I have some wicked neighbors.''

    Neighbors asked the sheriff's department to stop Thelemann from displaying the sign, but Undersheriff Bob Hill said the sign was gone when deputies visited Thelemann's home.

    Undercover PC exposes sex bias
    Police officers have been caught by a secret camera gloating at pornography, making sexist comments to female colleagues and refusing to believe allegations of rape.

    A four-month undercover investigation by Nina Hobson, then a serving constable in the Leicestershire force, exposed a male chauvinist culture in which a policeman was told by his senior officer to take a claim of rape 'with a big pinch of salt'.

    Hobson, 35, first joined the police at 18 and, after a five-year career break, returned in 2005. But this time she wore a hidden camera and covertly filmed her colleagues for Channel 4's documentary series Dispatches. Last January she received an award from Leicestershire's chief constable in recognition of outstanding work, only to leave the force and turn whistleblower.

    In her TV footage Hobson records a male officer who had received a complaint of rape from a prostitute and consulted a senior officer before leaving the scene. Later he recalls the advice his inspector gave him: 'Yeah, just tell her if she wants to report it she reports it to us next week when she's ready ... take this with a big pinch of salt ... in my experience they'll come forward and help each other out.'

    Hobson commented later: 'The officer who raises that comment was the first officer at the scene of a prostitute rape, and when he was relaying the details to his senior officer, it was then, "Take it as a pinch of salt", meaning it's a prostitute, they do this all the time, it might not be genuine. If a young officer is getting that sort of instruction from a senior officer, what hope have we ever we got of changing the attitude of particularly men in the police force to how they deal with a rape - be it a prostitute rape, a domestic rape or a stranger rape? They're all rapes.'

    On another night, one of Hobson's female colleagues expresses disgust at the station's failure to send a scene of crime officer (Soco) to visit an alleged rape victim. 'I'm absolutely appalled,' says the female officer. 'She's ringing me every day ... Soco wasn't sent round. It might have happened on Tuesday - so what? There's still forensic evidence of it on the settee ... If I'd been raped, than fucking hell, I'm not reporting it to the police. I'd rather do myself in because the help you get from these people are [sic] just ridiculous.'

    Hobson added: 'We still hear police officers saying "She asked for it, she had a short skirt on". I thought we might have moved on, but we quite clearly haven't.'

    In a separate piece of footage, two male officers visit Hobson's home when they should allegedly be on duty patrolling the M1. They encourage her to watch 'disgusting' pornography on a mobile phone, apparently featuring a woman and a horse. One of the male officers makes an attempt at humour: 'The woman in that died three days later.' Hobbs also finds pornographic posters displayed at a police station.

    During a busy Friday night, as the police attempt to control crowds, Hobson is sent on an errand by her sergeant, who tells her: 'You want all the testosterone you can get. And you haven't got any.' She explained later: 'He says, "I'm sorry Nina that I gave you that job, but at the end of the day, you were the woman, it's kicking out time, and I want blokes out on the streets for any fights that might happen.'

    The film also shows police on patrol playing 'hide and seek' in their cars or fetching Chinese takeaways while pretending to be busy. Officers play poker and cricket in the custody suite while Hobson is waiting to bring in a prisoner. Two officers coming to the end of their shift ignore reports of a woman being roughed up by a man. A senior officer tells Hobson and her colleagues that the antidote to an incapacitating spray, Captor, should be reserved for officers not prisoners, and admits: 'I think if that went out in the public domain there might be trouble.'

    Leicestershire police said that it was aware of the Dispatches programme, to be shown on Channel 4 at 9pm on Thursday. Matt Baggott, the chief constable, said: 'I am sure many will share my disappointment that Ms Hobson chose not to raise these matters of concern at the time. There are a number of ways colleagues can do so - if needs be anonymously.

    'Sadly Ms Hobson appears to have chosen not to use any of the channels available. Because of this, the incidents of poor behaviour that she filmed were allowed to go unchecked for months. This is not in the interests of Leicestershire Constabulary or of the people of Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland.'
  • edited April 2006
    Where do you find these things? This is some of the best yet imo.
  • edited April 2006
    you can get intimate relationships by posting signs in your yard?

    is that why i don't have a boyfriend? i need some posterboard!
  • edited April 2006
    Do you even have a yard though?
  • edited April 2006
    One might suggest that you make a milkshake. That should bring some boys to your yard.
  • edited April 2006
    i have a gravel parking lot that could easily be converted into a yard for sign purposes!
  • edited April 2006
    I agree with tak.
  • edited April 2006
    On an unrelated note, I got bored and played with Jakey's avatar a bit. Can ya tell?

    I'd also say that 12 is a bit young for a 45-year old. At that age some men have 12 year old granddaughters. Not brides.
  • godgod
    edited April 2006
    hey, the eyes move! i was breifly considering making a joke i just heard on comedy central about that guy, but restrained myself
  • edited April 2006
    I just wonder if he expects to find any 12 year old girls with a thousand dollars to spend. Hell, I'm 21 and I don't even have that kind of money.
  • edited April 2006
    He's offering them $1000.
  • edited April 2006
    Hm. I used to be literate. Not so much anymore.
  • edited April 2006
    Recipients: Stolen body parts infected
    NEW YORK (AP) -- At least a dozen people who had routine operations say they caught deadly viruses and other germs from body parts stolen from corpses in a ghoulish scandal that has sent hundreds of people for tests.

    The patients tested positive for germs that cause AIDS, hepatitis or syphilis after receiving tissue transplants, according to their attorneys and court records.

    Lawsuits have been filed for two men, one in Nebraska and one in Ohio. Each contends he caught a hepatitis virus from tissue implanted in back and spine operations -- an assertion that lawyers acknowledge will be difficult to prove.

    A New Jersey company, Biomedical Tissue Services, is accused of failing to gain consent to take bones, tendons, ligaments, skin and other tissue from cadavers. The most famous example involved the corpse of Alistair Cooke, the longtime host of the PBS series "Masterpiece Theater." Cooke died of cancer at age 95, and his leg bones were removed and shipped to tissue processors for use in medical procedures.

    Attorneys for the two men who sued say they know of no other factors that would put their clients at risk for hepatitis.

    "It pretty much turned my world upside down," said one of the patients, Ned Jackson, 49, of Omaha, Nebraska.

    The Associated Press talked to lawyers representing at least a dozen other clients who say medical tests show they have the AIDS or hepatitis virus or syphilis bacteria -- all of which can be acquired from infected tissue. Those suits have not yet been filed, and the lawyers are continuing to investigate their claims.

    So far, about two dozen lawsuits have been filed in federal courts across the country, most seeking class-action status for hundreds of people who were implanted with tissues that the U.S. government recalled.

    About 1 million procedures a year involve implants of cadaver tissues. The companies that process the body parts for those surgeries say their products are safe and believe the case involving Biomedical Tissue of Fort Lee, New Jersey, is an aberration.

    The owner of BTS and three others have pleaded not guilty to the charges against them. BTS has since closed. At least 8,000 people received BTS tissue, according to one of the tissue distributors.

    The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has said the chance of getting a disease from BTS tissue is low. But attorneys for the plaintiffs are challenging that assertion.

    "There has never been a widespread dissemination of recalled tissue ... What's happened here presents a whole new scenario," said Philadelphia lawyer Larry R. Cohan, who's representing about 130 people who say they got BTS tissue.

    Steve Fogle thought the risk was low when he had spinal fusion surgery at Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati on Aug. 29, 2005.

    When the Blanchester, Ohio, man got a letter dated Dec. 9, 2005, from his doctor explaining the tissue that was implanted in his neck and spine might carry an infectious disease, he didn't think much about it.

    The letter and other documents explained that the tissue had been "terminally sterilized" and stated repeatedly the risk of infection was "low." The letter also said tissue had been recalled due to "improper documentation" and there were no reports of "adverse reactions."

    Fogle, 41, felt reassured and put off getting tested for hepatitis, syphilis and HIV as recommended by the FDA.

    Two months later, Fogle, who is married and has no tattoos or history of intravenous drug use -- risk factors for hepatitis C -- learned the true circumstances of the recall after watching a TV news report describing the macabre scandal.

    The news from his test in Milford, Ohio, was not good: He was infected with Hepatitis C, according to his affidavit.

    A series of follow-up tests with his family doctor and a liver specialist confirmed the results. His wife's tests have been negative.

    Testing positive for a germ does not necessarily mean someone will develop a disease. For example, many people who test positive for hepatitis C will test negative six months later if the body's immune system has defeated and cleared the virus.

    Fogle declined to comment for this story but his attorney, Joseph M. Lyon, said Fogle should have been made fully aware of the allegations against BTS.

    "The notice minimizes the risk in this case," Lyon said. "It appears when you read this letter it is a hypothetical risk. They downplayed the entire role of BTS."

    Lawyers say the doctors and companies that processed and distributed the tissue diminished the risks in warning letters they sent to patients.

    "People left the doctor's office thinking 'big deal'; it was a document error," said Patrick T. D'Arcy, a New Jersey lawyer representing about 200 people who received the suspect tissue.

    In Ned Jackson's case, he had surgery on his lower back at Alegent Health Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha on Aug. 12, 2003. More than two years later, his doctor told him the tissue used in his surgery had been recalled.

    Blood tests indicated Jackson, who's disabled, had contracted hepatitis B and C, according to the lawsuit.

    "To hear something like that is really upsetting," he said in a telephone interview.

    Fogle and Jackson will have to prove their cases if the companies involved decline to settle. Plaintiff's lawyers acknowledge proving it won't be easy. They'll have to generate extensive medical histories and cement the connection to BTS.

    "The proof issues involved are certainly challenging," D'Arcy said.

    Dr. Arjun Srinivasan, a medical epidemiologist with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said his agency is investigating reports of positive test results in tissue recipients.

    "It will be very difficult to determine with any certainty if there is any connection between the infection in the tissue recipient and the tissue donor," Srinivasan said.
  • edited May 2006
    Girl, 11, 'raped by 35 soldiers'
    IT'S being described as the worst sexual abuse scandal in the Israeli army's history.
    As many as 35 Israeli soldiers are suspected of statutory rape of an 11-year-old girl who lived with her family on an air force base in southern Israel.

    Defence lawyers say the girl, now in counselling, lied to the soldiers about her age, claiming she was older, and that the sex was consensual. Regardless, legal experts said the soldiers could still be prosecuted for statutory rape.

    The case marks a new low for the military, once Israel's most revered institution, tarnished in recent years by incidents of financial corruption and sexual misconduct.

    Limited details released by the military indicate at least 17 Israeli air force soldiers have been investigated, and several others are likely to be called in.

    The girl lived with her family on the base where her father, a career military man, served.

    The family has since left the base and the girl is under psychological care, the army said.

    Stephen Harper 'Eats Babies'
    Bemused Toronto commuters were repeatedly informed that "Stephen Harper eats babies" after a hacker tampered with advertising signs on city trains.

    The scrolling electronic signs that usually carry transit updates and advertisements on Toronto's westbound Lakeshore GO Transit trains carried the messages Thursday, Friday and Monday after the hacker used a remote-control device to re-program the wording and mock the prime minister.

    The ingenious hacker made sure that suburban commuters in at least five different cars continued to get his or her subliminal message.

    Commuter Gerry Nicholls said he thought he was hallucinating as he relaxed in his seat for the 35-minute GO train ride between Toronto and his Oakville home.

    Every three seconds, the scrolling electronic sign read: "Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies," Nicholls told the Toronto Star.

    "No one seemed to be reacting to it," said Nicholls, who happens to be vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, the same conservative think-tank formerly headed by Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

    "I kept waiting for the kicker,'' he said. "I thought, there's got to be something to this. It's a joke, it's an ad for baby food or something like that. It just kept going over and over again and I realized that this is something that could be pretty serious.

    "I wasn't even sure when I got off the train. Was I hallucinating?"

    The case of "electronic vandalism" prompted red-faced GO Transit officials to pledge the insults would never happen again.

    To do so, they will have to power down all the signs on their cars and use special software that is being couriered from the United States to password protect the digital signs, a process that is expected to take three days.

    "Unfortunately it's a slur, it's an offensive message," GO Transit spokesperson Ed Shea told the Star.

    "We regret it happened and we're sorry if anybody was offended, including the prime minister."

    However, a digital security expert told The Globe and Mail this kind of digital tampering is as easy as buying a $23.95 gadget -- and more of it should be expected.

    "There's actually a whole slew of ways to hack into these signs," said Ryan Purita, a forensic examiner with Totally Connected Security Ltd. in Vancouver.

    "If people don't think those things are connected to the Internet, they're wrong," Purita told The Globe.

    Dimitris Soudas, a spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper, described the hacker's actions as "inappropriate and disrespectful."

    Meanwhile, when asked about his time with Harper at the National Citizens Coalition, Nicholls said: "I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he, in that time, eat a baby."